Time off work

Hi, just wanted to say that I'm finding this site to be fantastic and so helpful. My husband and I have our consultation app today to go through the treatment plan etc. Will be looking at SSR and ICSI. Going forward I know i will have to take time off work however my husband works at the same company. I was just wondering if your partners went to all your appointments with you? I would like him there but I don't want the company to think we are milking it and using it as an excuse for us both to be off. Same with SSR. I don't want him going through it by himself while I'm in work. Thanks x

11 Replies

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  • Hi, my mum cane to my baseline scan with me, then dr signed me off for the two weeks when i had to go in every other day and tge week of EC & ET, hubby only came to EC & ET, i went on my own or with a friend for my scans and bloods! Best of luck! Xxx

  • My partner just came to the ec with me i took my mum to all the other appointments (shes less annoying) lol! Good luck honey xxxxxxxxxx

  • I went to my appointments on my own. One fortnight I was there every morning before work for monitoring, this isn't standard, but you can get a lot of appointments and it can just be too much to expect a partner to get that time of work. I was fine going on my own, nurses were great. I also did egg retrieval and scratch on my own xx

  • Hello and welcome, My hubby just came to the bits he needed (EC, Transfer)to as we live quite far from the clinic, plus we had a couple of weekend scans so he was able to come o them. At my bloods and scans I was usually in and out within half an hour xxx

  • Speaking as a husband - before the appointments started I was expecting to only go along to certain appointments. It quickly became clear that I would go to every appointment. This wasn't because of pressure from my wife but more because this is my baby too. Theoretically my wife could have gone alone and told me what happened but that wouldn't help me engage in the process.

    Also, this is a difficult process for the mother and can put strain on your relationship so i imagine support is appreciated. Importantly too, at any appointment you could get some devastating news.

    Obviously work pressures are difficult and life is much easier if your employers are supportive but you could live to regret not fully being part of the process so I would at least try as hard as you can to both attend.

  • From my hubby point of view, he would be there for all steps naturally so wants to be there for all of these too. We're trying to minimise work asking too much by doing as a mixture of appointment leave and half day holidays. Doesn't work for all but so far so good for us this way.

  • My husband came to all appointments, he works about 30 mins from the clinic we went to and we took earliest appointments possible. I needed him to be honest, I only had 4 follicles so this came as a shock at the time. You just don't know what's going to happen and it's good to make him feel included and part of the process.

  • Hi there, my fiancé has said he wants to come to all of my appointments with me however big or small as he wouldn't feel right if I went with anyone else and he wants to be by my side all the way in it together. Luckily he has spoken to his boss and she is extremely understanding and said any time he needs he can have as special leave. The policy at work (we both work for the same trust) states 5 days paid for assisted conception so I'm guessing he gets the same as he is needed for some appointments. Everyone is different and it all depends on work commitments and yourselves. I don't think any sane person with a heart would think you are milking it as this is probably the biggest thing you will have to deal with as a couple, I found being upfront with our managers right from the start has helped as they know what to expect :-) Wishing you both all the luck in the world xx

  • Thanks everyone. Consultation today and have to go back on Tuesday to get results of the FSH or LH test. Still getting used to what everything is called. We live/work 90 mins away from the clinic so it's half a day off work. But it'll be worth it if it works

  • I know the feeling, we live 2 hours away from our clinic so it's a full day off for us! We said the same that we would travel anywhere to make it happen for us. Lots of luck for your results on Tuesday 😊 Xx

  • Starting our first cycle at the end of next month. Have got a 5 hour round trip to our clinic. This takes us out of work for a day each time we make a visit. I am a teacher and wondering how on earth I am going to manage all the trips and days out of school. Has anyone else managed this? Any tips. I teach secondary so it's a busy coursework and exam time.

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