Time off for IVF treatment

[Billiejean01]

Hello Everyone,

I was just wondering whether anyone here has taken anytime off for thier IVF treatment? We are currently about to embarked on our third round and after working through the last cycles I was wanting to give myself a break and take some time off. This is potentially our last try as we have exhausted all our funds I'm trying to do anything which could potentially help and I'm worried that the added stress at work isn't helping as recently I have been feeling really stressed out at work.

The awkward thing is that the company has recently made a few redundancies and are being stretched for people in the office, making my taking time off whilst having lost some staff is not very helpful, but in turn has really increased my work load and is making me more stressed.

My partner really wants me to take the time to relax mentally and not worry about anything else and just be a little selfish, although I'm stuggling, I really feel like taking the time off would help although I don't want to leave the company in a diffucult situation.

Does anyone have any suggestions? xx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Billijean01. I realise that it is difficult for us just to take some time off in preparation for fertility treatment, as sadly our jobs and lifestyles don't often offer this luxury. It might be an idea to have a little holiday beforehand if you can, but save a few days for the time when you have egg collection and embryo transfer to recover from the procedures involved. Spending some time together is good too if possible. I'm sure some the others here will tell you their experiences which will help. I just wanted to wish you both well when the time comes, and of course for success. Diane

[MommaBear16]

Hi Billiejean - it sounds really stressful for you and you sound like such a lovely person to be so considerate of your colleagues when you are going through all of this. It's such a hard decision to make and I understand that you want to do right by everyone. During our first cycle I had the same anxieties about work, I didn't want to take any time off and I didn't want to let anyone down but one of the lovely nurses in our clinic told us that this would potentially be one of the most important things we would ever do and we had to give ourselves the very best chance of success.

I ended up taking two weeks, fortunately the hospital gave me a sicknote so I didn't have to use my holidays. I'm so glad I took that time but this time round I'm only expecting to take a week as being at home constantly during the 2ww drove me potty! haha

If you can I would take some time off. You need to give it your best shot and you never want to be looking back thinking 'what if'. Take some time out for yourself now to benefit everyone in the long run.

Wishing you a huge amount of luck for your next cycle x x x

[MonkAK]

Hi Billiejean, I just wanted to reiterate what others have said really. I think stress is one of the major factors regarding success and so I think that anything you can do to reduce it will be beneficial. I am a teacher and, like you, taking any time off fills me with guilt as I am convinced I am literally ruining my students' lives! However, afterwards you soon realise that the effect of you taking some time off is never as bad as you think it will be.

We actually deferred our last FET for a month so that we could go on holiday (during school holidays I hasten to add!) It seemed like a really selfish thing to do at the time and I felt so guilty calling the clinic and saying we wanted to put it all back a month to go on holiday! But, looking back, it was a great thing to do as it really chilled us both out before treatment and I'm sure it helped us to get our BFP.

Just think of all those years you have put your work and company first - now it's your turn. Wishing you the best of luck. Xx

[Laura3101]

I've taken time off work and just embarking on my 2ww now, have you got a HR policy at work at all? Mine stipulated specifically that all appts needed I could have off with pay so all bloods, scans EC and ET then I can self cert for 1st week then I'll get a sick note for the 2nd week. I think being as less stressed as possible will hopefully be a massive help xx

[Billiejean01]

Thank you all so much for your responses, I have found them very helpful.

I think your right, I have spent the last two times working through and unfortunately we didn’t get a BFP and I think that If I were to work through again I would constantly be thinking ‘what if’ and I probably would regret it. I am quite an anxious person by nature anyway and so coping with stress I do find difficult and being in a stressful environment at work only makes everything seem so much more difficult.

I never want to disappoint one, or put anyone out, and work have been understanding when needing time off for clinic visits and things but I think this is something we need to do this time around.

My company doesn’t offer many holiday days (I don’t think we have an HR policy either, we are a relatively small company of 7 people and I wouldn’t know who to ask as the boss deals with all of that), I am going to see whether my doctor will prescribe me with a sick note for the 2WW, and then I will try too book some holiday off for the egg collection. I’ll try to give them as much notice that I can so they can find a freelancer to cover if need be.

Thank you all so much again, it’s so lovely having people to talk too. Wishing you all the very best of luck if your having treatment or just in general. xx

[allieb21]

Hi Hun,

I'm embarking on my second and last NHS cycle in April. Am waiting until then as treatment and scans fit in with the easter holidays (I'm a teacher). As long as all goes ok I'm planning to then self certificate and then get signed off.

Last time I had a day off for EC and then 4 days which included ET and I was very stressed.

I can't do that again I need to relax so looking after me! And my school is supportive but tough and very stressful. I have to look at it as it's my last go and so I need to do all I can.

Put yourself first that's most important xxx

[Rose-la-Milli]

I took time off work (actually I quit everything for a while to get fit and healthy) for my first egg collection and after that got itchy feet so went back. It's a tough call but I think anyway you can find to keep your body and mind relaxed is a good thing. I had to keep telling myself it's only for a short time and so it's worth a sacrifice but I'm self employed so it was a different situation from you. I have also read of people staying in super stressful jobs and being successful - so it's anyone's guess - I don't think you could ever find any science to prove one way or another. For me, I just figured I would pull out every stop I had if we were going to do it and in the end I'm now 38 weeks pregnant. I firmly believe that meditations helped me and perhaps it was also as it was our very last transfer so I knew that the end was in sight one way or another! (The embie that succeeded was from our first egg collection, fyi, not the second one where I had gone back to work and was 4 months older...)

[72cloud9]

Personally I think ur husband is right-be a little selfish! This is your time and nothing is more important at this point in time than u.take this from someone that put off having babies for years bcos of a job and then started miscarrying at work at a point of real stress and now we are struggling to conceive.take the time for yourself if u feel that work isn't a healthy environment for u right now.xxxx

[Aleelilook]

Hi lovely,

I totally hear you!! I was massively stressed at work after our first failed attempt, and spoke with my gp this time round, who insisted I was signed off for the entire treatment period. He was really supportive, and although i was a bit freaked out telling work they were totally on board. It also will make it really clear with work when you won't be in, making it far easier for them to manage.

Good luck

Xx