Frustrated... 3rd attempt 2016

Ready to say goodbye to 2015! 1st IVF lost after 2 weeks, 2nd IVF miscarried after 8 weeks (medical miscarriage), I wanted to have my 3rd attempt before the year ended and it doesn’t look like it is going to happen. I had tests carried out by miscarriage clinic, I was told the results would take 6 weeks, I got them at 8-9 weeks after constantly ringing them saying they were delaying my treatment, it made me angry that they had my results there but admin has a back log getting appointments out. But finally the consultant told me them over the phone and they were all clear. Made up there is nothing wrong BUT the delay in getting my results has resulted in me not being able to have my third attempt until 2016 because the lab is closed over Christmas to carry out FET.

When I explain my frustration to family and friends there response “things happen for a reason” and “it will happen one day”

The frustration that having a baby is in the power of other people’s hands. I never know whether to laugh (because it’s a complete joke), cry or get angry.

3 Replies

  • Hi Suzanne,

    These tests do take along time to come back. The thrombophilia ones in particular seem to be slow. I hope they tested everything they could for you - when I was first tested after 2 mc, they didn't look at karyotyping. But once I had 3 mc, this was an extra test they did. In my case, they found APS but I later found out my AMH is low too.

    I know how frustrating it must be to have to wait again. When we were starting IVF I wanted to go right away but I was going on holidays so had to postpone a month. It's hard to be patient with this process, when month after month goes by. The best thing you can do for yourself now is take this month to prepare your body properly for the IVF. Make sure you're taking the supplements you need like folic acid, vitamins, drink lots of water, eat well and rest properly. Maybe look into relaxation techniques - meditation, acupuncture, whatever works. And just enjoy the Christmas break as much as possible. January isn't too far away now - it'll fly in with Christmas coming.

    I think everyone gets the ' it happens for a reason' comments. It's hard for people to know what to say to women like us in this situation. Even the midwives can be a bit lost for words. They mean well but if it is getting to you, then maybe limit who you tell to those you know will be most supportive. x

  • I was gutted when ET had to be cancelled in October. My dates just worked out for FET prior to Christmas, if all goes well. It's so frustrating and there is nothing you can do about it. I thought if it couldn't go ahead before Christmas at least I could have a glass of something alcoholic, I've hardly drunk anything alcoholic for more than a year.

    I don't think people understand the frustration as they think it's only a month, what's the issue, and they don't know what to say and feel they should say something.

    I had the mc screening tests after 2 mcs in a year, they did warn me that they could take up to 12 weeks to come back as some had to go off to another hospital to be analysed. It's good to know that your tests didn't highlight anything.

  • I completely understand. The frustration of having a baby is in someone elses hands, and we cant do anything except keep taking multivitamins and not drink etc.

    I say 'good ridance to 2015' we had 3 icsi attempts this year. BFN x 2, then a BFP a few wks ago, to have a bleed the day after my bloods confirmed BFP which lasted 5 days and I was told it was all over -early miscarriage/failed pregnancy no reason why was given. If you can think of any tests I should ask for I would appreciate.

    Just hope 2016 is a better year for you. We were desperate to get our 3rd attempt in before xmas and our early failure has left me 'empty' and really quite low. Still trying to work things out with my partner- as he has this 'never mind- if it was meant to be attitude etc' which is destroying me. At least you have ur test results bk. Hope 2016 is 'the one' for you x

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