3rd transfer and 3rd miscarriage 😢 - Fertility Network UK

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3rd transfer and 3rd miscarriage 😢

Cutecolliedog profile image
24 Replies

hey, so I found out today that our third transfer was not viable. Was meant to be 7 wks today 😭

Just feeling really lonely and isolated, really finding it difficult today. Usually I can pick myself up but it’s just not happening. I don’t know how I can keep doing transfers when I’m getting the same outcome. I’ve been told I can now get bloods for recurrent miscarriage but unsure what they actually test for.

Would welcome any stories of similar situations where you got to the bottom of the issue/have success. Right now just struggling that I’m always in this percentage that miscarry.

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Cutecolliedog
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24 Replies
Doodlebug23 profile image
Doodlebug23

I’m struggling with 3rd failed transfer but not yet had to deal with miscarriage. I’ve had one a few years back so I know how that feels. All we can do is keep going x

DG2022 profile image
DG2022

I’m so sorry 😞 I’ve had 3 losses all IVF. After the third loss I was told that is a probably wasn’t just “back luck” especially because we transferred grade A embryos. The routine recurrent miscarriage tests came back normal. I then had a natural ectopic which made me even more determined to have more investigations. I had my immune system/Nk cells checked and these were raised/high inflammation. I’ve been on an immune protocol as well progesterone, aspirin, heperin. I am waiting for my viability scan next week, so I cannot say whether this pregnancy is going in the right direction or not. But I just want to say I’ve been through the pain you’re going through. It’s absolutely heartbreaking and there is nothing I can say to make you feel better. You are not alone even though it feels that way I know 😞 I still grieving my losses and it’s hard to push yourself forward. xx

Cutecolliedog profile image
Cutecolliedog in reply to DG2022

thanks for your message, so sorry to hear about your previous losses. Congratulations for this pregnancy I really hope your scan goes well. That is the same with our transfers they were all graded 5AA which I believe is good quality. They have offered us recurrent miscarriage bloods (through NHS though) did you manage to get the extra testing through NHS or did you have to go private?

DG2022 profile image
DG2022 in reply to Cutecolliedog

Mine were private but my ivf clinic paid for them as I made a complaint following my 2nd cycle. What meds etc are you on at the moment? I imagine nhs won’t do karotyping which basically looks at genetics. The immune stuff you will need to fund yourself although you can be referred to tommys which look for similar and they take NHS referrals so you can ask your consultant to refer to there? I would ensure everything is checked before doing anymore transfers. xx

Cutecolliedog profile image
Cutecolliedog in reply to DG2022

currently only have had progesterone after transfer medication wise, this time was a natural cycle and used lubion. I had looked at the karyotyping and immune testing but worried if I do the testing then the clinic won’t accept it as it isn’t under NHS so won’t actually change anything so would be a waste of money. Was your cycle NHS? What made they allow you to get private testing? It all just seems ridiculous and very little diagnostics that you can get under NHS.

DG2022 profile image
DG2022 in reply to Cutecolliedog

interesting you only took progesterone after transfer. Usually you take it 5 days prior to transfer. No my cycle was private and all my tests have been private. Unfortunately nhs is really backwards in recurrent miscarriage testing. If you want answers quickly then you need to go private unfortunately 😞 it is lot of money I have spent xx

Cutecolliedog profile image
Cutecolliedog in reply to DG2022

Only took progesterone after positive test as the transfer was completed on a natural cycle so no meds for this one. I’ve queried before at the clinic if they would accept private tests and they said it wouldn’t alter the treatment 🤷‍♀️ so I feel stuck wanting to know answers but potentially if I want to do anything different I need to self fund from the beginning a whole new cycle. I still have another 7 embryos frozen remaining from this cycle to use

DG2022 profile image
DG2022 in reply to Cutecolliedog

You have a great number of embryos left. Do you need to self fund your next cycle? Personally I would do mediated cycle and add blood thinners and extra progesterone. It could make a difference it may not xx

Cutecolliedog profile image
Cutecolliedog in reply to DG2022

No I have this cycle and then 2 other full cycles on NHS as I’m up in Scotland. I will ask them about the genetic Karyotype and immune tests anyway but don’t think they will entertain it. Will see if the recurrent miscarriage bloods come up with anything - it’s just really is it a problem with our embryos or the environment and I’m not sure we will find an answer. Just like everything fertility related isn’t it 🙃

DG2022 profile image
DG2022 in reply to Cutecolliedog

Yes it’s never just straight forward unfortunately. And the uncertainty is so hard. Thinking of you xx

Asha82 profile image
Asha82

I'm so sorry to hear that, sending lots of hugs your way xx

RainbowBish profile image
RainbowBish

I was in a similar position- three miscarriages- two after IVF.

It did get harder each time to pick myself up and try again or just carry on. The first few weeks were just crying.

Tests didn’t find any obvious cause, I think slightly elevate NK cells… changed the protocol slightly, had injectable progesterone, steroids and infusions of something that was basically mayonnaise from my memory. Whatever it was something worked and my daughter is now 3 and I mostly have forgotten all the pain and heartache.

DG2022 profile image
DG2022 in reply to RainbowBish

That’s basically what I am on! Funny you call it mayonnaise! It’s weird isn’t it! God I hope I am one of the lucky ones like you xxx

Cutecolliedog profile image
Cutecolliedog in reply to RainbowBish

Did the immune testing/NK was that done privately? Not sure I can get that under NHS treatment

MrsOrangejuice profile image
MrsOrangejuice

I had two early losses after fresh transfers that turned out not to have really developed from the start and this year had a pregnancy of unknown location after another fresh transfer that needed surgery around 9/10 weeks. I did however have a daughter in between who was from a FET. My clinic think it's a numbers game as the embryos are all great and we have no known issues - they said 1 in 3 would be about what they'd expect for our situation. But the last loss hit me like a tonne of bricks. I think with a later loss because your body is so full of hormones (my HCG was still high and going up by the time of surgery) and then goes through this sudden drop, that alone is enough to floor you. I guess it's a bit like post partum depression but without the joy of the baby and with all the grief and loss of hope that comes with a loss. I cried for weeks and didn't feel remotely like myself for at least a couple of months. If it's very recent for you I really feel for you as I don't ever want to experience that again. And yet I've since started down the FET route with the hope the clinic is right about it being numbers and that I'm not 'wasting' my embryos. I hope you have support around you and take care as this is the acute bit and it will hopefully dull over time so you can decide what to do next with a clear head x

Cutecolliedog profile image
Cutecolliedog in reply to MrsOrangejuice

Thanks for sharing your experience, it’s made me slightly less alone and I’m sorry for your losses xx

I knew about the 1 in 3 embryo ratio just the fact although the doctor said to me previously they expected 50% of high quality wmbryos to be abnormal. So am I just super unlucky and got 3 bad ones in a row? It’s hard to keep going with no answers. I just wish I could do a transfer sooner as well as January is so far away. I struggle with my family always putting pressure on us to have a baby when we have been trying 3.5 yrs now. I know that’s self-inflicted as I should just tell them what we are going through but I just don’t want to talk about it/feel like it’s really personal. Unfortunately my partner is also away atm and not back for another 10 days, I only found out yesterday at the scan so definitely think I still have lots of hormones going around 😢

st1984 profile image
st1984

I had 3 miscarriages, all ivf at around 7-8 weeks, had the miscarriage tests and went again on lots of extra stuff, steroids, thyroxine, lipids, clexane and injectible progesterone. The next cycle worked and our little one is now 2. It's so hard, you probably feel like you'll never get there but there is still hope. Look after yourself at this horrible time. Hope you're OK xx

MrsOrangejuice profile image
MrsOrangejuice

I get it entirely. On our first collection we were told our embryos were the best the embryologist had seen and our hopes were so naively high and when I got my first ever BFP I just thought that was it. Now I am more realistic I guess. I don't know if there's a quality or genetic issue that's only appearing later but our consultant doesn't think it's unusual and seemed to think it was positive to get good embryos, and that do implant even for a short while as it rules out loads of issues. But it's very hard to go through losses and I hate the idea that maybe it's something we've missed and could possibly solve. But I can't face any more delays. We haven't told anyone about IVF, or having been TTC for nearly 10 years. I don't want the added pressure and 'gossip' I've seen with other family and friends, but I do envy the support network and being able to share the heartache and just how bloody tiring and hard this all is. X

Babyhope8 profile image
Babyhope8

7 transfers 3 miscarriages and 1 TFMR . It doesn’t upset me much but I do have a lot of fear and anxiety. Try to focus on work and forget . Sometimes it comes back hard .. Try different clinic and see different protocol works . Also see if you can opt for genetic testing on the pregnancy remains

Cutecolliedog profile image
Cutecolliedog in reply to Babyhope8

Unfortunately we have quite a few embryos left at this clinic at it is a NHS cycle so we will need to transfer them first. We are really limited and don’t have much choice of clinics up in Scotland 😒 how does it work for genetic testing can that only be done if surgical management? My miscarriage isn’t complete yet and I haven’t started bleeding yet

Ms_here profile image
Ms_here in reply to Cutecolliedog

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s just awful it really is. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks, it had to be managed medically due to a fibroid that grew very big during pregnancy. It’s really soul destroying, thinking of you during this really sad time x

Babyhope8 profile image
Babyhope8

unfortunately I’m not based off UK , I did not do testing in my previous miscarriages. This I did not want to miss it , my miscarriage happened at home last Saturday after I stopped my medications previous week when we failed to detect heartbeat at 12 weeks . So doesn’t have to be surgical , we can submit the tissues by storing it in a container (Refrigerated)and send to lab . I need to find answers this time

XOXO13 profile image
XOXO13

I’m really sorry to read of your heartache 💔

I’ve experienced two miscarriages before I went onto have my twins via ICSI. I hate the “wait for three miscarriages” rule before the NHS is willing to do anything so we went private for testing. At first, everything looked okay but with a deeper dive after recurrent implantation failure on top, my tests showed I had elevated blood clotting markers, elevated NK and cytokines and elevated thyroid antibodies. I also have a fluctuating thyroid so I take thyroxine to control my thyroid function.

The NHS should be able to explore your thyroid function for you, plus any other deficiencies such as Vit D and Iron which can all play a role in implantation and pregnancy. They should also be able to check and manage your progesterone levels, maybe you need an increased dose (for my final and successful transfer, I was on 800mg suppositories plus POI shot). It’s also worth asking for blood thinners and aspirin which they should be offering you now anyway after 3 losses.

The NHS won’t support immune testing however, so they’d need to be covered privately. I personally think it’s worth it for your own peace of mind and once results are back, it help help you make a clear decision on how you move forward. If it comes to it, would you be able to move your embryos to a private clinic?

I always found that with every failed transfer, and with my miscarriages, I needed to explore something new. Whilst these things “happen” and it can purely be a numbers game, I am someone that needs answers. Whether I get them or not, having a plan and doing something new, helps my mind and focus!

Sending you a big hug and wish you a brighter and hopeful next step xxx

Nat89 profile image
Nat89

Sending love ❤️. I personally wouldn't do anymore transfers until you have investigated with some testing, especially immune and blood clotting. I would at least be on a protocol of progesterone, asprin, blood thinners and hydroxychloroquine and prednisone.

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