2nd attempt - another FAIL

Today was test day and I was convinced that it had worked after all the effort that I went through. I had tears before I was due to take the test and tears for the rest of the day! It's been such a hard day and I am loosing the will to live here. I've just been in this bubble and every time I speak to my mum we just argue, I don't believe any one cares about me.

I only have 1 last round to go but what are the chances - for all I know my eggs could be scrambled at my 40+ age. I tried acupuncture, eating healthily, giving up caffeine and alcohol, walking, taking special supplements - is there anything left or do I have to come to terms that I just won't be a mum?!

I have Insulin Resistance and as that is to do with your hormones, the chances are that is causing a major problem. I have a doctors telephone call booked on Monday to see if there is any medication such as Metformin that might help with the problem.

There is absolutely nothing going right for me and I have no one to help me through it, this is such a hard time x

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26 Replies

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  • Oh hunny. I'm so very sorry. I know how much it sucks. But try not to give up. You have one more go. So try to relax. Do stuff you like doing. Take time until you feel ready to go again. Don't rush that. You are not alone. You have us on here. And I'm sure others would agree we care. Even though we don't know each other. But we all know how it feels.

    Take care lovely. Lots and lots of love. Xxxx

  • Thank you - I am on a time limit though to fit my treatment in but have a a full month (until my 2nd period - 1st one is due any day) before I can try again.

    I just feel what is there that is going to make any difference this next time.

    Thanks for your lovely words xx

  • Sorry only hear about your situation. Funny enough, I was just having a chat with a colleague tonight and she was discussing how hard it was for her and now she has 4. She gave herself a time limit after which she was going to stop trying. Guess what, she got pregnant when she stopped worrying about everything else.

    I will say, stop worrying and it will happen. Don't do the routine for just wanting a baby. Just enjoy it and it will happen.

    Good luck

  • Thank you - to a degree, I do have a set time limit due to my age but I could possibly go 2 months before my final try. Trying to be a little more relaxed may help x

  • This might not sound empathetic but I am trying to be logical. The odds with Ivf are not wonderful so it can take a few tries. 3 tries is the standard expectation so you certainly haven't failed yet. Keep your hopes up and good luck xx

  • I'm on IUI and not IVF but very similar. Thank you x

  • Hi, just wondering if you'd considered IVF as it is supposed to have a better outcome than IUI? I heard a fertility expert talk about this recently. From what I remember, she said that a lot of people go for IUI because it's cheaper but the reality is that IVF gives a better outcome. I would think that IVF is more controlled because fertilisation takes place on a Petri dish in the lab so they can see that fertilisation has occurred and can pick out the nice embryos for transfer.

    For me personally, my clinic didn't want to even attempt IUI and went straight to IVF. This is because my AMH is low and my cycles were shortening, indicating poor ovarian reserve. They said that time was against me and they didn't want to mess around with other techniques that may not work for me. As it is, I only had 3 out of 4 eggs that matured and 2 of these went on to be nice embryos which we both transferred.

    Just a thought. You could at least compare success rates between the 2 techniques and talk to your clinic in more detail about it.

  • Usually if you pass the tests without any concerns, then you do IUI - not because it is cheaper although it is! My AMH results were fine! I only have until the beginning of April until my treatment comes to an end though because of my age so if I was to do a round of IVF it would have to be at another clinic.

    Thank you though and I can see why it has a positive result x

  • Ah, ok. I don't live in the UK and going private so must be different policies. I guess you just need to get your body into good shape before the next round and take the right supplements, etc. Can the clinic do anything more with the meds they give you? Don't know if you take progesterone on IUI or if maybe low dose aspirin or heparin could help.

    If your amh is good then that's really positive!!

  • Yes I am private as well at my clinic.

    I have Insulin Resistance so going to speak to my doctor about taking some medication for that (this doctor is separate than the hospital). The medication I get from the hospital is standard fertility drugs.

    I took progesterone for 2 weeks after my insemination, it's not normally to be taken before. Haven't heard about aspirin, what is that meant to do apart from thin the blood?

    Thank you x

  • Hi, the aspirin and heparin are mainly for blood thinning, usually prescribed if you have something like APS that causes early mc. The theory is that they promote blood flow to the uterus and there are some reports out there that aspirin can also help conception for this reason. Opinion seems divided about its efficacy in conception though, so maybe you can read up on it and ask your clinic about it.

  • Thank you - that's what the acupuncture meetings do - help with the blood flow. I will look into it x

  • Thank you and congratulations! x

  • Hey distinction,

    I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling so low. This treatment is really really hard, hormones are a bi#£h and make every feeling so much more raw and difficult to deal with.

    Unless people after going through it they cannot possibly understand which makes us feel alone.

    You are not alone.

    Listen to the girls here, they understand what you are going through and in the struggle we are stronger through helping each other.

    Sending you a massive hug.

    Whatever happens you will get through this as we all will.

  • Thank you so much - it is very hard but we all try as hard as we can to fight the hard days x

  • Hey lady

    I have been through 3 fresh cycles and I am 41 we my last failed cycle was a week ago few years but still hoping that there is hope we go one more time.

    I can't say don't give up, I can't say stay positive because this journey drains the life out of you for every BFN.

    Take time heal and don't blames yourself we are all here for you.

    Massive hugs.

    Pm me if you want to rant.

    I don't the same as you and still got a BFN🤗

  • Happy to keep in touch. Thank you, it is hard for us all when we get a negative but we still find the courage to keep going! x

  • Hey, I'm so sorry to hear this. Please don't lose hope. We are all here because of hope and we do care X have you read the book called it starts with the egg? Covers all bases in terms of prep for good eggs. I won't know for a couple of weeks (first cycle, transfer hopefully on Saturday) if the changes I made have helped but at least I felt I was doing everything I could and it has been a healthy obsession along the way! I really hope your 3rd cycle goes well xxx

  • Wow! I will look into that book. Do you know who it is by?! I will have a look on Amazon. I'm wondering if my eggs are partly to blame as I am 43 but I also have Insulin Resistance x

  • Hey it's by Rebecca fett and covers a range of fertility related conditions. In terms of the food bit, the basic rules have been no wheat, no refined sugar (only limited natural) high protein esp eggs, fish twice a week, red meat only lean and max twice a week, and as much folate and green veg as you can, plus some fruit particularly berries. Of course no caffiene. Much I this I got from combining the book with a fertile kitchen recipe book. Whether or not it makes the difference in the end I don't know but I can tell you that in the summer I was showing 9 follicles and yesterday after a couple of months of this diet I had 20, which realised surprised us all, particularly the nurse. no idea on how many eggs or more importantly their quality but will find out this week! Even if this was drug related surge, at least I felt that I was doing something whilst passing the weeks of the cycle. Best of luck, hopefully 3rd time lucky! X ps am also an older mum in waiting..

  • I hope to be! an older mum! I did do a few health things - gave up caffeine and alcohol and ate well. It sounds a bit like the Fertility Diet.

    Great it has worked for you, good luck to you too x

  • Thankyou, I would recommend the start with the egg book as it covers a lot of other areas too. I felt written for our age group too! 😊X

  • Thank you x

  • I've got that book on order! So will see if it helps! x

  • If you can afford it, might be worth consulting a nutritionalist, especially one who specialises in fertility issues. My neighbour has just paid £95 for a 90 minute session [in London] with one for her digestive related issues and it is amazing what this lady has come up with! Also if you have IR, then a course of Metformin might help. Possibly the slow release version like I take, as it releases slowly throughout the day. Are your ovaries also ok? Only ask as IR is often associated with polycystic ovaries.

    Good luck to you.

  • I already have acupuncture and she helps me a fair bit with what to eat, I couldn't afford a nutritionist as well! I'm going to be speaking to my doctor about going on metformin this week as this affects your hormones in a big way! My ovaries are fine as I had a scan and bloods which showed that I didn't have any cysts any more - I used to have PCOS.

    Thank you, good luck to you too x

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