Hope definitely over

Appointment day at the clinic today. No point going. Found out this weekend, my partner who I trusted and found so supportive; is expecting twins in 3 months. Obviously I'm not the mother. Can't describe the pain.

[SarahnDave]

Oh Deedje I honestly don't know what to say. I can't imagine what pain you are going through. What a cruel and horrible thing to do to you.it wont feel like it right now but you will get through this, you are strong person having read some of your previous posts.

Stay Strong xx

[Hidden in reply to SarahnDave]

Thanks SarahnDave.

[Lidzz]

Awww! I feel your pain... I've been there before I met my husband. With a guy and he knew I had too go for ivf, eventually I found out he fathered a child whilst being with me

life was soo cruel too me.. In time u will get over it, then I met my husband bless him. We have been through soo much and he is wonderful..

,

[Hepzibah in reply to Lidzz]

And this one. How awful. Deedje, please let us know how you are doing.

[Hidden]

Big hugs xxx

[rainbowbreeze80]

Wow is all I can say, I can't imagine how you're feeling what a cruel thing for him to do.

Somehow you'll find the strength to get through this, big hugs xx

[Katm123]

I'm really sorry, you must not even be able to put into words how awful this is. Wishing you love and strength.xx

[Hidden]

I get it and slowly slowly you will get through.

Don't let this be the end but a new beginning.

Massive hugs 😘

[Hidden]

How awful, stay strong sending you big hugs x

[Missy_22]

Big hugs to you 💕💕💕💕

[Hidden]

Hi! Deedje, Sorry for the long message. If i may, as the other ladies mention, as hard as your situation is be strong, yes it a difficult situation but you must not give up. I have been in your situation ten years ago with my x partner. I found out that he had a woman pregnant while we were planning a wedding and a family. He confirmed it later on. It was one of the worst time in my life i wanted to just crawl up and died. However with friends and family support i kept strong and carried on. I am now married with a lovely husband just waiting to start our own family. Thank god i did not do anything stupid because now i realise that we are only in control of what we do, we can't control other individual decision even though they may be our husband, family or friends. Their is always hope, try to find in something you love. I turned my negatives into positive by burying myself in studying until i felt better to deal with my situation. After a couple of months i felt better and better, until the pain and anger went away. We are not friends now but we do communicate when we see each other, we spoke about what happened in our relationship and that helped. With time you will be able to make the best decision for you. I do believe that god don't give us more that we can carry, in other words your are strong. Take care, don't give up. Hope36.

[Leanneb85]

Oh my god, I'm so sorry hun. I can't imagine how you are feeling right now. I'm completely furious after reading that. What a cruel thing to do. I don't know what to say, hope you're Ok as you can be lots of hugs xxx

[Brassylady1]

Darling I know its of little comfort now but you are too good for him. I hope you can find strength to go on if you chuck him out ( which he deserves, in my opinion)

I know a couple who tried everything to have a child he met someone had a child, then she met someone and fell straight away. Thats the truth. I believe everything happens for a purpose and he didnt deserve you or your future children. God Bless, and be strong in whatever you choose to do x

[marthasmum]

Stay strong my friend and her hubby split after numerous attempts at ivf.. she met someone else and went on to have 4 beautiful children naturally.

Life can be so cruel and confusing but I firmly believe everything happens for a reason x

[Brassylady1 in reply to marthasmum]

That does happen its the same as the couple I know, guess together they just were not compatable, because like the people you know, they both went on separately to have children easily and naturally.

God works in mysterious ways x

[Hopeful1982]

Deedje, I am very sorry to hear this. It feels incredibly cruel. Take good care of yourself . I wish you lots of happiness for the future. You deserve it! x

[Hidden]

Oh deedje

I'm so so sorry, I don't know what else to say.

[Hidden]

Why don't you give it some thought, I'm going through my treatment on my own. Part of that reason is because, I've been hurt too and couldn't wait (partly due to my age).

You may not want the Dad to be your ex but you could use a donor, worth thinking it through anyway x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Funny you said that because he's willing to go ahead with further treatment. We have 3 frozen eggs. He's begging forgiveness, claiming insanity of some sort. I considered it as despite what he has done he's not all bad. I kept the clinic appointment, thinking to treat him just like a donor (know I'm confused not thinking straight. Probably trying to hold on to something broken) But I have fibroids & the clinic want me to remove them 1 1st. So I've given up again

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Well I guess whether you forgive him is up to you but he does have twins arriving - I'm not a counsellor but I guess you need to ask yourself, can you live with someone else's children about and knowing how he cheated on you. I would think it through very carefully.

It would be hard to use him as a donor as you would be always clinging onto him but of course only you know how you feel. Why don't you give yourself some time to think things through, I'm not saying you should have a baby on your own (even thought I am trying too) but it's an option.

You are worth so much and going from experience I'm learning that sometimes we need to think about what we want and go for it and to not rely too much on other people.

Wishing you all the best and stay strong x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank for your sane, sensible response. Which I know is genuine. I'm wrestling and know am not thinking straight. I'm actually going to seek seeing an actual counsellor cause this is more than I can handle. We may even end up going together. Our families are trying to help but ultimately it's going to be done to us. Just wish it was different. Thanks again and good luck.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Good luck with the counsellor - I would think about that too with regards to going with him. You might also need some time on your own as well.

If you need a chat, by all means send a message.

Let me know how it goes x

[Hepzibah]

Good grief. What a horrible story. My heart goes out to you.

[Hidden]

There are no words, what a b@**@*d. You do not need someone like that hun and he is not worthy to be the father of your children. You will one day look back when you have your family and be relieved, everything happens for a reason. Take care of yourself xx

[Kat9lives]

I can't believe he would be that horrible! What a total b@s%@#d. You deserve so much better than him. Be strong and give yourself time to grieve the relationship, but you are so much better off without a lying cheat. One day you will look back and be so grateful that you're not with that scumbag. Xx