What kind of crazy is this?!??!

As some of you will know, we were told Ivf icsi is the only real hope of conception for us. And it did, til my little one was born too soon to survive. After initial testing my surgeon believes her death was a tragic fluke and completely unrelated to any fertility issue we have. Further treatment is a sore point, very different to our previous losses for us obviously, but apparently for others too. This time no one wants to talk to the parents of the baby who didn't make it about trying again. Sad but true. So we've had tests, waiting for specialist appt next month to confirm all ok with the results as surgeon expects. Already know wdwppma won't get to do treatment this year because Nov won't get nurses appt in time for my cycle and my cycle clashes with xmas shut down days in Dec, so very sadly we're looking at having to wait til next year. Doesn't seem like much does it. But another Christmas with another baby to grieve, without any trying is pretty shit. So why if I know all those facts and figures, the low chance of Ivf working on a good day, why oh why did I even think of trying naturally?!?!? Yes. I've tracked ovulation (was to check how my body was getting back to normal after my daughter died anyway) and moved best conception times etc. In one hand, maybe a miracle could happen. On the other, I've just given myself another disappointment come day 30

5 Replies

  • Parents of angels my heart goes out to you. ❤️ But miracles can and do happen. There is always a Chance no matter how bleak things look. You're not being silly by trying 💗

    My mother had a friend who tried for 10 years and had IVF she had both tubes blocked anyway they were told they could never have children. Both got careers which involved working with children. And guess what? She went a conceived twice and has two beautiful sons 😍 Sometimes life finds a way.

    So don't loose all hope if tracking ovulation and trying makes you feel like you're doing something proactive (remember there is always a chance) do it. If it happens brilliant but if not there is IVF in the new year to fall back on. 👏

    I know exactly what you mean about Christmas I'm dreading it. Sister in law is pregnant no doubt there will be lots of baby talk to endure wouldn't be so bad but this woman has already abandoned two children.

    My GP has prescribed me transexamic acid for three months he thinks I've got an hormonal imbalance in my uterus which is causing me to bleed in between periods and with the bleeding and cramping that I get between cycles planning a pregnancy is not advisable. I can't even try right now, Seeing him again January unless the bleeding between cycles continue. This years been a write off for me for trying😳. Just looking forward to getting this year over and done with at least I can have a 🍷🍸 Christmas lol silver lining!!!

    Good luck I really hope you get your BFP this year if not maybe next year will be our year Hun 👍💗🙏🍀 x x x

  • You're so right, there is always a miracle that can happen. I'm just so scared to believe it now, after everything, we end up loosing Annabelle so late on in a completely random way. Guess I'd believed she was our miracle, so sometimes feels like we're never going to get another miracle if that makes sense. So so hard. Thank you for your understanding and replying xx

  • I like Christmas but I'd like it even more with my own baby/child. Seeing my niece's excitement is great but I do think to myself "If only...". I think this is a natural part of the grieving process.

    It would be a miracle if we managed to get pregnant again naturally but I am realistic of our chances and if it doesn't happen with Our frosties from the egg donor and ICSI it's not going to happen. It doesn't help when some people say "It could happen, you've got pregnant before."

    I'm waiting to hear if my cycle is going to allow us to have FET before Christmas. I find the waiting hard, at least when you'real undergoing treatment you are doing something.

    How have your counselling sessions been with your new person?

  • Only had the initial meeting, which went well, but still awaiting appointment dates etc. The waiting is so hard isn't it xx

  • I'm glad the initial meeting went well, it gives you confidence that the sessions will be useful.

    We got the news yesterday that we just meet the dates for having FET prior to Christmas. So start down regulating on day 21.

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