Feeling lost

Hi just wanted to know if anyone else that's been lucky enough to have their miracle baby has struggled to leave them? I panic and don't leave my baby very often at all. Some people think its a problem but is it not healthy after everything I had to go through to have her???

Also I have just separated from my husband I thought we would have grown closer after having a little one together but we haven't! I just want to know if anyone else has gone through any of these feelings/ emotions or am I the only one???

Tia

9 Replies

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  • Hello. I have not have not had our miracle baby yet. Bimit have discused that I to will find a issue when it does happen. As we have waited so long. so I understand what your feeling. And I agree not completly healthy but understandable complelty. Is there a good friend or family member that you trust that you can leave baby with so you can at least Pop to the shops. Don't have to be gone for ages. and then build up from there. Might not work. And I'm sorry to hear about you and your husband splitting up. I don't know what to say to help with that.

    Lots of love and hugs sweetie. ️Xx

  • Thankyou for your reply and I will keep everything crossed for you and hope u get there soon. If you don't mind me asking how far along are you in your journey?

    I have left her a couple of times for half hour to two hours but I hate every second I can't relax I worry about her the whole time and it's worj people she is and I close too. I didn't think I would be like this as I also work in childcare and have for 12years. I don't know what to do as I think as long as my baby is happy I'm happy and other people say its a problem! Especially now I habe separated thet say are you going to leave her with her dad. No I won't it at the moment as I don't leave her with anyone!

  • I don't mind you asking. We have been having treatment for two years now. Did have a successful pregnancy in November last year but unfortunately I lost the baby in December. We are trying again in April with our last embryo. I would may try talking to a counsellor. You need to do what's right for you and your baby. but I would say without meaning to offend you. It could become a problem in the future. With school etc. lots of love. ️Xx

  • I joke now saying she will be home schooled. Thanks for your advice and I'm sorry about your loss I can only imagine. The best of luck for April please let me know how you get on xx

  • Home schooled is not bad. My friend is doing it with her five year old. It's hard work. But better for him. Thank you. I have accepted it happened. And am now beginning to prepare us for our next go. i will indeed keep you informed. ️Xx

  • Hi, it's perfectly understandable to feel that separation anxiety and I know your feelings are shared by many other women who have experienced a long hard road to motherhood. But it isn't healthy - either for you or for your child if you continue to feel this way. If you worry and can't bear to be parted from your baby, it's probably not a problem at the moment, but as she grows older it will begin to feel suffocating and will impact on her social development. And you may find that your anxiety increases as she gets older and goes out into the world. Children pick up on anxiety and as she grows up she may learn from your reactions to be fearful and anxious. You've gone through a fertility struggle and a relationship breakup, two of the most stressful things anyone can experience. It may be you need a bit of support to untangle your feelings and to learn to trust the process of life again. The fact that others around you are commenting on your behaviour may indicate that something is out of kilter. I don't know you, but may I suggest that it could be time to take care of yourself as well as your baby - yoga, meditation, counselling, or some other activity to help you cope with feelings of anxiety and trust again in the process of life. To finish, I just wanted to reassure you that your feelings are so common amongst those struggling to conceive that it's got a name - precious baby syndrome and there's even been a book written about it!

  • Hey, I struggle to leave my daughter too... I go back to work in 4 weeks and I burst into tears each time I think of it. But it has to be done. I know it's healthy for both of us. I've found a nursery that seems to be v good (Ofsted outstanding) and I'll start settling in days soon. I am dreading it though :(

  • Oh poor you. I nanny so I am very lucky my little one comes with me. Best of luck x

  • It is hard leaving a LO anyway but yes this journey doesn't make it any easier. My girlies are 6yrs and 22 months now, and I struggled leaving them both. I think what you shouldn't under estimate is the massive impact that the journey to having these children has on us. I didn't even realise how depressed I had been in the journey to having my second, it was only when she was a few weeks old and we were out for a walk one day I felt like someone switched the lights back on in my life. We don't suddenly stop being so broken because we have our miracle baby, it takes time to get over it, like any other trauma, and there are no rules for how that works. You will get there and it does get easier (I promise)xxxx

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