Another day another dollar!

[PurpleLove19]

Does anyone else have an insensitive boss or shall I rephrase that- a boss with short term memory loss?

I had a “moment” yesterday where all my boss wanted to do is talk about a newborn baby during a meeting! This is after I had said that dates in the summer term for me were not a good idea due to hoping start our first IVF cycle. I wont bore you all with what the meeting was about but basically they wanted to put some dates in for me to meet deadlines so I politely explained that until I know for definite I can’t pencil dates in.

My boss, who knows my situation, has hugged me when I’ve cried and had my sick note for weeks in the autumn term, couldn’t change the subject quick enough.

Then as the meeting was coming to an end she wanted to talk about a “strangers” 5 week newborn baby. It gets better- the lady who has had the baby is apparently still working the odd day in her MAT leave and may bring the baby to the next meeting with her!

I politely left and that was that!

My husband was fuming when I told him!

But... we had our confirmation through for our next appointment at the clinic and it’s asked us to bring proof that we live in the UK for the NHS funding.

Does anyone know if you have to wait for the NHS funding to go through before starting your first cycle? I won’t be happy if that’s the case as the last time we went he said we could start as soon as we wanted. I just wanted to have a full MOT first and if I’m honest I wasn’t quite ready!

I’m so ready now!

And yesterday confirmed to me just how much thought she gives me so I shall NOT feel guilty of having any time off during the process.

I have looked at the Family Leave Policy and I am entitled to some time off in the TTW.

Also does anyone know if the clinic sign you off for EC ?

Sorry for all the questions- I’m off for another day at work 😩

Xx

[staaa88]

Urgghhh!!! This is so annoying, I’ve grown to accept the fact that anyone who has found it relatively easy to get pregnant just doesn’t know how difficult it is, even when you tell them everything.

I found the process through nhs funding process quite lengthy. I started this in May 2017 and am only now having FET (although I we did get re referred last year after our first sub fertility appointment told us that my husband had HIV when he didn’t). And because our infertility is unexplained they sent us away to try for another 6 months, not sure if they do that with anyone else

So yeah it’s a bit of a lengthy one.

Good luck with everything

Xxxx

[EmGLA]

Hi, It sounds like you have a very trying boss (to put in mildly). I think people are just a little ignorant and tone deaf when it comes to infertility as it is still not really spoken about broadly. I can definitely relate to being floored by peoples' casual comments and questions on 'when is it your turn?' and the like. I hope today is better for you.

In terms of your IVF appointment, we have just had the , 'bring your ID' appointment. I am based in Scotland and am being treated under the NHS, this is my first IVF experience, we are struggling to conceive due to my PCOS. Now obviously every clinic will do things differently. this appointment for us was purely paperwork and a few bloods and swabs. I have been under this clinic for the last year with letrozole and preliminary tests etc so they have all of my history. There are A LOT of forms to be completed. Our first proper appointment to be told the timetable and actually start treatment is the 11th of April. The first appointment was 2 weeks before that, so not too long. There is no literal funding to go through, its just basically to check you meet all the requirements for treatment to proceed :).

I can completely understand how impatient you are to start, I am the exact same. I think its great you took the time to get yourself mentally prepared, it is a huge step.

As for the time off part, my clinic recommend you take EC day off due to the sedatives you can't drive etc. However, they don't provide a sick line. Under legislation employees can self-certify as being ill for up to 7 days, thereafter you need a doctor's line, to receive sick pay.

I wish you the best of luck with your journey!! Keep us updated as I think we might be going through this at the same time!!

xxx

[PurpleLove19 in reply to EmGLA]

Keep me updated with every step of your journey.

Thank you xxx

[SVAK]

Oh no poor you, it is hard, I don't think people mean to say things I think its just that they don't get it. My family don't get it so I have kind of got used to insensitivity around the subject and just remove myself from situations. I used to get wound up but that made life really stressful and it doesn't help in the long run. I had Clomid and IUI before our first round of IVF so it may be different but once we had signed all the documents with the nurses for IVF we had to have a consultation with the consultant, the appointment was around 6 weeks after due to availability and it was at that appointment that potential dates were worked out. The dates are based on your cycle so there was no guarantee that there will be space for your treatment when you ring up on your first day of your period. I had to wait as the first time I rang up they were full and couldn't fit me in, so the following month I started. All in all from signing paperwork to starting treatment it was about 4 months. I potentially will be having my eggs collected on Friday!! Just stay positive, you have to almost put yourself in a bubble and ignore the outside world. It is short term pain for long term joy or that is what I keep telling myself. Stay strong and good luck xx

[Cinderella5]

It sounds pretty crass that your boss isnt being more sensitive but in all honestly I dont think they'll have any idea just how this whole process feels. Im not making excuses for anyone but I would say that its not until you have been facing infertility and doing IVf that the reality of perhaps maybe not being able to have kids smacks us in the face and nobody knows how that really feels until they are in that position....I couldnt have imagined before all of this. In saying all that it doesnt make you feel any better when someone is insensitive. The clinic doesnt sign you off for egg collection unfortunately, but it is a hospital appt and your should be entitled to the day off, that or phone in sick for a few days.....or even see your GP about signing you off. Hugs.xx

[hannahding]

I can very much relate to you. People around us can at times be very insensitive. It is honestly unbelievable. One of the reasons why I stopped going outside. All of this can affect one's social life completely. Good luck to you. I hope things go well for you. Stay strong and positive.