Sad news for now. : Hi ladies. I'm so... - Fertility Network UK

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Sad news for now.

39 Replies

Hi ladies. I'm so sorry I have bad news. So I had my scan but They are not happy with how things are for seven weeks gone. want to re scan me next week. However I don't see the point. They could not hear the heartbeat either. And they said the sac is there but not Looking like it should. Devestated doesn't even come close right now to how we are feeling. cant stop crying. :( :( :( x

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39 Replies

Oh my oh my Piglet I am so so shocked, I am so sorry. But do try to hold off for the scan next week, they obviously aren't that sure about what they see. I will be thinking of you, what day next week are they suggesting the scan? my thoughts to you..xx

in reply to

Thank you. Don't know what to say or think right now. I have to go through gp now or early pregnancy unit at hospital. Next Thursday. To give it another week. :( x

pm27 profile image
pm27

So sorry to hear that piglet21. I know there's nothing that I can say that will help you. Just know that I'm thinking of you.

miannach profile image
miannach

Oh Piglet I'm so sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you.

Hopeful1982 profile image
Hopeful1982

Oh piglet, I'm really sorry to hear this. You're in my thoughts. Look after yourself x x x

Oh piglet, I'm really sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to you, thinking of you xxx

Thank you everyone. Means alot to have these kind words. I am just at a complete loss and don't know what to do or how to handle this. And for the first time I actually feel I can't handle this anymore and feel so weak because of it. I'm trying to hold onto the slim chance it may all be ok. But am loosing hope. Have been crying again. Don't know how im going to hold it together. It was heart breaking telling my mum as she was so excited for us when we got a positive. I felt awful. not helped also that it's my uncles funeral next week and this pregnancy was helping us at this time. Also today we all find out he was still married to another women, and so legally she had to be told her "husband" has died as is going to be at the funeral to. Even though he has been with my auntie for years. He has always been uncle Mike to us. How awkward that will be. So sorry for long essay. :( ️xx

Wuezy profile image
Wuezy in reply to

Hello Piglet, I haven't posted before but have been reading here for a while. Exactly the same thing happened to me on Tuesday when I went for my 7 week scan. DH nearly fainted at the scan because it was such a shock to him.

I hadn't told anybody I was pregnant due to the 12 week rule, but I'm not sure it's a good idea in retrospect because its horrible to start a conversation about miscarraige out of context. The only people I have now told are my boses at work because that gave me flexibility to work from home but DH is upset that my boses know and yet our parent don't. Both sets parents are overseas so it wouldn't be easy to tell them anyway...

I'm going to have to join a queue in an EPU on Tuesday morning so they can double check there still isn't a heartbeat and then I guess they'll give me options going forward. It such a feeling of limbo at the moment and all my symptoms have gone so it really doesn't feel like there is any hope.

Have you had counselling? I'm trying to sign up for that but it's taking ages..

Thinking of you....

in reply toWuezy

Hello wuezy. I'm so so sorry It has happened to you to. I'm sorry that hubby found it so hard to. Will be thinking of you on Tuesday morning sweetie. Let me know what happens (in your own time) :( it's so horrible. I still don't know what to do. I barely slept last night. Woke up crying several times and don't even know why. I have not had counselling before as this I have such a fab support network. But this is something different all together. Try to get counselling via your clinic. Will be quicker that way. Thank you for taking the time to reply. Lots of love x

Wuezy profile image
Wuezy in reply to

Hello Piglet,

Just to say my scan today was as expected with no heartbeat and a shrinking embryo. I'm booked in for surgery tomorrow. TBH it's a relief that we should have closure soon as the limbo this week has been hard. Trying to look forward to a relaxing healthy Christmas and then starting again positively in the new year.

I do so hope that you have a better outcome on Thursday.

in reply toWuezy

Hello. I'm so so sorry. :( I really feel for you sweetie. Good luck for tomorrow. Hope it goes ok. I bet it's been hard. That's what I'm struggling with. I'm hoping so. But I'm not sure. Lots of love. Xxb

tjf7 profile image
tjf7

Piglet my heart goes out to you sweetheart❤. But please, PLEASE don't give up hope even tho it's hard not to. Keep in your mind that it was there and just bcoz it didn't look right now doesn't mean it won't be perfect next time. Sending HUGE HUGS your way (()) xxxx

in reply totjf7

Thank you lovely. We are just distraught right now to the point where we have just had a row. we never row. :( am trying to stay positive but it's so so hard. Thank you for hugs. X

Belle-7- profile image
Belle-7-

I'm very sad to hear your news. Lots of love. Xx

Piglet

Omg I am so sorry and I know those words don't help. Try to stay positive and you and hubby stay strong as a unit these are trying times and you need each other IVF is rollacoaster of emotions and test of strength. We are never prepared for bad news.

I am.keeping my.fingers crossed that things change and progress it's not over until it's over so I hope right now you.keep.a lottle faith.

Big massive hugs to you and hubby xxxxx

Princess09 profile image
Princess09

Hi piglet12,im so sorry 2 hear your news.is alright 2 cry,my thoughts are with u.xx

Hope23 profile image
Hope23

Hi my lovely. Oh my god I'm so sorry. Really don't know what to say. You both must be distraught. As the others have said though, do wait for the next scan and carry on with your progesterone treatment for now. You hardly had any bleeding did you, so you may be ok. I had lost A LOT before my early pregnancy scan to see what was going on. God its so hard but just try to hold out and don't give up yet. My thought are with you, it's such an upsetting time, look after eachother though ok xx here if you need me xx

in reply toHope23

Hello lovely. Thank you for your lovely words. Am crying again. This is so so hard. I am taking my meds as they said until my scan. Will be ringing gp now to get a appointment so they can refer me to the epu. I have had hardly any bleeding and no pain at all. So I think thats what has confused them a bit. I don't know. It was so hard trying to Take it all in and what they were trying to tell me as I was just such a mess yesterday. but the doctor who came to speak to us pretty much gave the impression that I will misscarry. But will have to wait and see. Thank you once again. How are you. ️Xx

Hope23 profile image
Hope23 in reply to

Oh lovely, I am truly sorry. I do know how you feel, I literally fell apart the day I started bleeding and don't think I've ever been so distraught when I left the scan. When do you think they'll be able to get you in? They're not gonna wait too long I hope

I'm ok thanks. I have good days where I think it's ok stay cool you have 3 frozen embryos to use in January. Then other days I am so tearful and low. Apparently the odds are a lot lower using frozen embryos rather than frozen eggs, not sure why. Anyway I won't bore you with all that

Please take care. Get some rest if you can xx

in reply toHope23

Thank you I am resting. Have been told not to work until my scan next week. Which is not really helping as I am now constantly thinking about it. The clinic said leave it for another week. So Thursday next week. glad your ok some days. The nurse told me yesterday that actually frozen can be as good as fresh. As we have one frozen left. Not that I can even begin to think about that yet. They were just trying to help. Lots of love. X

Hope23 profile image
Hope23 in reply to

Get yourself a cozy blanket and put on a good dvd to distract you. A week seems a long time I know but please try not to give up hope yet xx

in reply toHope23

I have a cozy blanket and tea with some biscuits. And for now watching watchdog. Will have a nap soon I think ️xx

Thank you to everyone else for all your support and words. Just phoned to get a doctor to phone me as soon as so I can arrange to be referred to the epu. And just about kept it together, until I hung up the phone. X

Mooster1 profile image
Mooster1

Hey hun so sorry to hear this. I was at my 12 week scan with twins when I found out there wasn't any heart beats. This this was around 8-9 weeks ago. I know how it feels. My world fell apart at that time of hearing the bad news. Everything they were talking to me about it was like were they speaking to someone else. I chose to have an operation a few days later & felt absolutely devastated by it all. It's still hard now months later but does in a way get easier I suppose. We let off two heart shaped balloons to say goodbye to our special miracles. It felt right for us. Look after yourself Hun the pain does ease promise. Sprinkling baby dust for us all in the near future. Xx

in reply toMooster1

I'm so sorry mooster1. How awful for you. :( it is so so hard. I felt ok at first. As the scan women and nurse were trying to reassure me. But then it hit me when the doctor came and saw us as he pretty much said its over. Not in those words. But that they need to re scan me to check everything is ok. So I understood from that he meant checked I had miscarried properly. I may be wrong as it was all such a blur yesterday. I don't know what options we will have if I have miscarried. No one has told us that either. im hoping it eases. As right now I just feel so numb. And don't know what to do with myself. Look after yourself to. Lots of Love and baby dust your way to. ️Xxx

pm27 profile image
pm27 in reply to

Hi piglet12,

I hope that your EPU gives you the support you need at this horrible time.

We found out our naturally conceived identical twins had died at the 12 week scan in April 2013. The doctor told us as kindly as he could being told your much longed for baby/babies have gone is the worst thing in huge world. It was all a blur for me too.

Try to rest, it's ok to cry and feel sad.

Thinking of you.

in reply topm27

Thank you. Pm27. I'm so sorry you lost your twin babies. I'm really worried that they will treat me just as a number. As they have never met me. Don't know all our history. So don't even know we have been having Ivf. So Im worried that they will just be like yeah you have misscarried or still are so here are your options to help finish it. At least at the clinic they knew how devestated we were and what being pregnant meant to us. I may be and hope I am wrong. But it's all just still so raw and painful right now.

pm27 profile image
pm27 in reply to

The EPU staff hadn't met us before but they were really good and it felt like they had lots of time for us and seemed to understand our pain and loss. They didn't rush us with decision making.

Look after yourself.

xxx

wizzleandmolly profile image
wizzleandmolly

I am really sorry to hear your sad news. Just over two years ago we found out that there was no heart beat at our 12 week scan and cant even begin to explain how that made us feel when the lady told us. We have been trying ever since and I was about to go for IVF earlier this year but just before we was about to start treatment I fell pregnant again naturally but unfortunately we lost that one too.. Its soo hard and we are not giving up ... Massive hugs to you xxx

Dee22 profile image
Dee22

So sorry Piglet12, and for the news of your uncle too. This must be an incredibly difficult time for you both. Thinking of you. xx

in reply toDee22

Thank you for your reply. I'm not going to lie its crap. I said to hubby yesterday I just want this all to be over. I cant seem to function properly at the moment. Can't even decide what I want to eat. I'm hungry then I'm not. My hubby yesterday just plonked some food in front of me and I ate some of it but i didn't enjoy it. And I normally love my food. I'm guessing that will pass. X

Dee22 profile image
Dee22 in reply to

It must be crap, after already being through so much. I do hope the scan is better than expected. x

Oh just read this Piglet. I am so so sorry. Can't find the right words, but my heart goes out to you. All my hopes are with you, and I hope you find peace during this tormented time. Lots of love XXXXXXXX

Hi Piglet

I have just read your messages. My heart goes out to you and my thoughts are with you. Big Hugs Tasha xx

Ziyah profile image
Ziyah

I know that no words can make you feel better. remember that you are not alone we share your pain and heartache.dont give up, try again when you are mentally and physically ready. cry your heart out and take your time to get yourself to be strong again. We are human. all of the best and remember you r not alone.

pm27 profile image
pm27

Hi piglet,

Thinking of you.

Sending big hugs your way.

Hi Piglet

My heart goes to you so sorry you are going through this. Try to stay strong together....

Massive come hugs coming your way with a little magical.baby dust for us all.

Fingers crossed for you xxxx

Hi piglet12.

Just want to wish you good luck with your scan 2morro.. I hope that it goes better than predicted.. Sending lots of hugs and love to you.. Keeping everything crossed for you. Jess X

in reply to

Thank you Jess. I am so nervous and really don't know what to expect. I really hope All is ok to. But I'm not convinced at the moment. Lots of love. X

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