3.5yo nappy or not?

[RooRoo123]

So we toilet trained a year ago and nearly everyday we still have incontinence of both pee and poo, she drinks and eats next to nothing so became constipated, we completely decompaction last week reaching brown water 6 days ago, we have been in nappy during and since, I took her nappy off today thinking her poo has firmed back up and instantly noticed some changes

The devil child reappeared, angry, aggressive, overly emotional, just an absolute disaster and impossible to be around, this had been going on for months and since being back in nappys she had been much happier and enjoyable to be around

She broke down after peeing her pants while sitting on the toilet after leaning back too far, completely melted down

My husband was saying the sauce was pumping/farming and she started to panic saying "what?!" Because she thought we ment her

I actually think she dosent have alot of control at times, it genuinely seems to come as a surprise

But putting her back into nappys seems like a huge back step, I am worried it will regress her by stopping her feel when she's wet, she also suffers with toilet refusal particularly when she's doing something exciting so nappys could make that worse

Also 2 out of her 3 days at nursery this week she ended up crying with the pain of nappy rash which only started while there, I don't know how long she must have been left like that so I am scared to send her back in them but also use them here but not there scares me of how nervous she might be there

[CheshireMama]

sorry to hear of this stressful time. It can be so hard for everyone.

Re nappies, I agree, a huge step back. I’d recommend the Bambino Potty training knickers. They’re thick & absorbent so any accidents are less obvious & less stressful.

The tantrums / anger could be unrelated to consitpation & toilet training. 3 year olds are tricky little emotional beings.

You need to find a maintenance level of Movicol (or whatever stool softener you have). My daughters was 1 a day & then half a day. For over a year. This meant that she couldn’t hold it, but it wasn’t soft enough to cause accidents. We also introduced the iPad on the toilet & ensured she sat on the toilet 20 mins after every meal as this is when the bowel is more active. She could sit for 20 mins & then would have a poo eventually. If we got to 2 days without a poo then we would give her a stimulant (such as senokot or duculous - prescribed by the GP). This makes the bowel “go”. So then she would have a poo the next day.

If you don’t already - get the Movicol on repeat prescription & find your maintenance level AND request the Doculose. And introduce sitting times after every meal.

For context, my daughter had consitpation issues at age 2.5. She was then was scared of poos hurting her & withheld, creating A viscous cycle. It took us months to find out maintenance fix & then it improved over several months. She now goes 5-7 times a week & only has the medication if she hasn’t gone for 2 days. We do still let her have the iPad on the toilet in the evenings before a bath as this helps prolong her sitting time. However, if she needs a poo, she often just goes now without much encouragement or reminder.

It will get easier!