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ERIC
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Will only poo in nappy thread--

I'm posing here because I feel like I've tried everything (under the sun) suggested to try and get my 5 Year old DD to poo on the toilet and not in a pull up! She will even hold it in all day at school (risking accidents) just so she can drop her shopping off in a Nappy! Very frustrating at the moment I'm just working with it in the hope that she simply grows out of it. She is such a stubborn little girl. I think girls are worse with being stubborn and being little madams (honestly).

So I have made this post as a place to share our woes with this subject and maybe all jointly find out ways forward.

Today was the worst I've had in a while as she got a pull up out herself and put it on (without me knowing) and went outside to play (did her business) I only found out when I called her inside for dinner and I'm telling you... having to change a 5 year olds full nappy did not make me want my dinner afterwards... :(

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Personally I'd just go with it. Maybe just leave a pile of Pullups in the toilet and encourage her to go in the pull-up but in the bathroom. Try and make as little of possible of it and try to pass no comment at all. Hard I know but it might work and I'm sure that she'll eventually grow out of it. Good luck

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Thank you for the advice. Have you gone through this yourself? If so, what worked for you?

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We have an adopted child who has been suffering with constipation and UTIs for over five years a very long story but not really exactly the same. However having had our own three sons plus fostered 48 children , taught and childminder we have had a lot of experience with kids and I just think that maybe this might be the way forward for you daughter. It's maybe just best to keep it low key and bite your lip for a while and see if it works. By know means do we know it all, hence haven't been able to solve our daughters issues but recognise that she really can't help it. I do understand how frustrating this all is and wish I had a magic wand!! Good luck xx

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Hello, we went through all that with our 5 yr old girl so I know how frustrated you’re feeling. We got through it in really small steps, first having to sit on a potty in a nappy, then gradually moving the potty into the bathroom, then onto the loo in a nappy, then a tiny pin prick hole in the nappy and gradually making the hole bigger. We had different reward charts and presents for each stage and made sure she was accepted each stage as normality before moving on to the next.

One of the best things for us was regular toilet sitting at 6 pm every day for 15 mins with games on the iPad that she was only allowed at this time. It kept her regular and avoided her needing a poo at school.

Talk to the school nurse too, ours recommended us to the paediatric bowel and bladder clinic which was good.

You will get there, it just takes a lot of time at patience.

Good luck Xx

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Dear Meganwrightingson,

I've one thing, to say, to you...Calm Down, she's just a Child! I hate to, say this, but you are NOT making 'things' any easier, for either of you, by making such a Fuss over a bit of poo. If she wants/needs a Pull Up, to poo in, then let her have one- at least she recognises the 'Need', to poo. She will, I'm quite sure, either ask for the toilet or just poo in it, when she is ready. Without being, too unkind here, I'm tempted to ask 'Who has the Problem here'. The Child, who is 'working' towards being Potty Trained, or the Adult, who is making a Fuss about a Natural Bodily Function?

All that said it might well be worth asking GP, or Health Visitor, to check her over, just in case there IS a physical problem. I'm sure that there won't be, there never was in our children- some of whom Poo-ed themselves, at school.

Sorry if this answer is not what you were expecting, I really don't think that there is a Cause for concern here. If she is still Pooing herself at seven, then maybe.

AndrewT

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Hi

I have this problem

With my nearly 5 year old. We havent solved it and she simply refuses to sit on toilets and will only poo in pull-up. We support her wearing a pull-up as if we don’t she will withhold her poo and that is another whole problem as leads to constipation. We just see changing her pull-up as somethingng we have to do daily and sont make an issue of it just praise her for doing a poo. There are lots of strategies you can try to get her to sit on toilet for poo - Eric website has a whole section called children who will only poo in a nappy. Unfortunately none have worked for us so far but others have said they work. Try to find out if you hve an nhs childrens constipation service locally. Not everywhere does. The main advice from Eric is never say no if they want a nappy or pull-up as the most important thing is for them to poo every day. Don’t make it a negative thing but give praise even for small steps like trying to poo on toilet even if nothing comes out in the beginning.

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the other thing I would suggest Is keep the pull-ups in bathroom of toilet and then she can get them herself when needed and tell her to stay in bathroom while shes doing it and then clean her in there. Withholding is the worst issue as could damage bowel and cause constipation.

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Could it be that she's afraid of the toilet? Talk to her and see what she says. In the mean time, I would suggest that it's better to pooing in a diaper than holding her poo and getting constipated. That's a far bigger issue than whether she poos in a diaper or on the toilet.

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