Only does a poo in a nappy! :(

[Mummypoweron]

My 5 1/2 Year old DD will only do her poos in a nappy. I feel like this is the most strange situation ever and I'm pretty sure no one else has a child that is still using nappies for number 2 at 5 1/2. I do feel like this situation is a failure on my parenting skills. She is just so stubborn and we have tried EVERYTHING to get her to use the toilet or potty. From blowing bubbles to cutting a hole into her pull up. If we say there is no more pull ups she will hold it and make herself sick. She wees fine in the toilet ... However I do think it is strange that when she does a poo in a pull up, she will also do a wee in one at the same time.... anyone else think that is strange?

I'm out of ideas and feel very alone. Anyone got any ideas/ advice. Has anyone ever come across this before?? x

[Frantastic84]

I can’t offer any advice I’m afraid but I can’t twll you how glad I am to read this. DS is also 5 and a half and I could have written this about him. I have tried everything and I’m at my wits end. It is making me feel like an absolute failure and I’m desperate to end this. I feel it’s going to start impacting on extended family holidays and sleepovers if we don’t get passed it soon. He will wee on the toilet no problem and has been doing so for years. He has been dry at night since age 3 and is otherwise absolutely excelling in life. It’s just this issue of pooing that is becoming such a problem and I just want to cry. Has anyone else successfully overcome this? x

[SallyandPaul]

Hi there, I haven't had this specific problem but I read on here plenty who have. I wish our daughter had poohed in a nappy. She started off at three and a half by withholding, so six years of accidents , constipation and UTIs we're not a lot further forward. If it were me I'd just go with it and hopefully they won't be doing it when they're 18!! Not very helpful I know but I really wish you the best of luck xx

[mcleanan]

I really feel for you, we had the same problem with our daughter. It is certainly not a reflection of your parenting skills and is actually very common. The more I talked about it with friends and colleagues the more I heard about other kids doing exactly the same thing.

We have finally overcome it-age 5, so There is hope! We did it all very slowly, taking small steps at a time- first pooing in nappy on potty in bedroom, gradually moving potty to bathroom, pooing on loo in nappy, making pin prick size hole which very gradually got bigger. We had different reward charts and presents for each stage to keep her interested, and every time we completed a stage of the process we stayed at that stage for a while until it became normal and unstressful for her before moving on to the next stage. We would also pre warn her about what stage was next to get her used to the idea before having to do it, she enjoyed helping to make the reward charts too.

We also found that regular toilet time at 6pm everyday for 15 mins with the iPad kept her regular and we’re still doing that now, 6 months later.

I hope this has helped, I never found a quick fix to the problem so patience is really important (if very difficult to do at times!).

Good luck with it all Xxx

[Yippieyay81]

You’ve been given lots of good advice already. We were in exactly the same situation with my lg following potty training. You are not alone. I didn’t realise how common it was until I started researching. All I would say is that although it’s totally frustrating at least she is doing a poo somewhere rather than holding it in & not going at all. This has led to chronic constipation. Have you been in touch with the ERIC helpline? They were so helpful & have lots of good resources/info. I’m pretty sure there is an article on their website about children who will only poo in a nappy. Also I’m wondering if your school nurse might be able to help? Also we were able to self refer to a local continence clinic (got info from our health visitor). Good luck!

[ParentwithsoilingDD]

Hi Mummypoweron

You are certainly not the only one with a child that will only poo in a nappy, I speak from experience. Making a fuss over it can lead to total withholding and all the associated issues with that. Pooing in a nappy or pants can stem from a fear in the child's mind that it's going to hurt. This can be from them doing a painful poo on the potty or toilet or can be an assumed pain. To avoid this the child seeks the comfort and re assurance that they know of doing it in a nappy ( learned from being a baby ). Some transfer this comfort to a favourite pair of panties. I would say just roll with it for now. If it's any consolation both of my DDs seek the comfort of their panties when they get constipated.

[hopefulmom20]

I don't have advice exactly, but I've been there with my now 10-year-old. He pooped in a diaper until he was 5 y 1 m. What made him start pooping in the toilet was one day he was at school and was too embarrassed to ask the teacher to put a diaper on him, so he ended up pooping his pants. The other kids didn't realize, just the teacher, but he was mortified anyway and started pooping in the toilet after that. I hope your daughter won't need a traumatic event like that, but I just wanted to reassure you that she WILL get over it sooner or later!

[DeutscheMama]

Dear Mummypoweron, I am mother of a 5 and a half year old boy and he has the exact same problem as your daughter. Seeing that this thread is from two years ago I was wondering if you would mind telling me what happened from there and whether you´ve overcome the problem by now? I often think it´s my fault eventhough we´ve never put any pressure on him and been very understanding. Maybe because we were too relaxed about it??

In a way it´s good to hear that I am not alone with this problem, so thanks a million for having shared your story! I´ve never heard of anybody here in Germany with the same problem.

We´re now at the stage where he poops in a nappy (in the bathroom)- before that he was always hiding behind the couch or a curtain, so in a way we´ve already made some progess.

Ok, I have no idea if you will be reading this. If you do it would be great if you could let me know how things went from there.

In any case I wish you all the best and good luck!!