5 year old - literally poos herself all day, every day - ERIC

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5 year old - literally poos herself all day, every day

Weeze1984 profile image
9 Replies

My daughter will not poo on the toilet. I literally have to clean her pants all the time. She knows when she needs to go because she crosses her legs to hold it in. It's been over two years now and not getting any better. We have been on the waiting list for the bladder and bowel specialist since March. They have said it could be another couple of months still. She has swimming at school now and has to wear nappies and her teacher sort her out. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated

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Weeze1984 profile image
Weeze1984
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9 Replies
Bambie83 profile image
Bambie83

Firstly, know that you are not alone in this. You are pretty describing my 6 year old! We've been doing the same dance around pooing for 3 years. Sometimes I think it's getting through to her and we see improvement and then our routine changes and bang - she's back to soiling (and then denying it). It's been exhausting!

There's a few things that you can look into (if you haven't already) while you wait for the consultation.

1. Is she still backed up? Have you disimpacted her recently?

2. Is she managing to get on the toilet after each meal? I've found that it helps when my daughter blows in to a water bottle. However, trying to get her on the toilet (if she doesn't 'think' she needs it, is another thing entirely!)

3. Rewards - if she's got younger siblings, make it a fun competition.

4. Try and get to the emotional reason why she's withholding. Is she scared or doesn't want to stop playing etc try and get her to describe how she's feeling and it may help her understand why she's not going to the toilet when she needs to.

Some of this might help, but I've been doing it for years and I'm just hoping one day she'll just realise she doesn't want to have poo in her pants!

Weeze1984 profile image
Weeze1984 in reply to Bambie83

Thanks for your reply. I haven't disimpacted her, I'm not sure if need to? I've not had no advice what so ever. She was prescribed laxido without saying how often or anything to use them. She seems to have quite a bit in her pants every day. I'm just fed up of it all. It doesn't seem to bother her. She will try and squeeze on the toilet but it's not when she needs to go, she hides and crosses her legs to hold it in. Tried reward charts, sweets if she goes and the promise of new toys but nothing seems to work

Bambie83 profile image
Bambie83 in reply to Weeze1984

Yeah the GP's seem very unknowledgeable about impaction - I only found out that my daughter was impacted after speaking to the health visitor and then to ERIC. Problem is if there's a blockage (even if she seems to be pooing every day) what you are seeing poo wise is the stuff pushing itself around the blockage and in turn stretching all the muscles she needs to feel. She probably can't feel when she poos her pants.

Personally, I would start with a disimpaction, ask your GP for a few boxes on repeat prescription and go from there. If she's withholding her poo in then the large amount of laxdio with stop her from being able to hold it. Then once you've had a few days of watery tea like poos at maximum dose, reduce the sachets slowly (1/2 to 1 sachets every few days) until she's managing to go to the toilet without too much issue. You're aiming for 1-3 soft snake like poos a day.

Continue regular toilet sits after each meal and I've found using blowing things good for the muscles (bubbles, water in a drinks bottle with a straw, balloons). Do this along side sticker/star charts and you should see improvement.

Remember - I've been told they need around 6months to 2 years constipation free before the muscles will start to re-build so don't worry if it feels like its going on forever, because it will. But not forever...I hope so anyway!

BeeBeeBuzzyBee profile image
BeeBeeBuzzyBee

My 4 year old is similar.

Have you heard of the charity ERIC? And there's a Facebook group called Movicol Mummies with lots of support too. The situation is very frustrating I know.

Potty sits in front of TV after meals worked for a time for my little one, but that isn't working now. We're waiting for a referral too.

It seems my little one doesn't want to stop playing to go poo on the potty/toilet. He doesn't seem to have a fear of pooing or of the toilet/potty. But every child is different. As Bambie83 said, try to work out the reason your little one isn't pooing on the toilet or ask her how she's feeling. We've had some recent success by putting my son on the potty and letting him play with his toys while there. This isn't a brilliant solution but hopefully it will reduce the poo accidents until we get our referral through or he naturally grows out of it.

I live in hope :-)

Le15 profile image
Le15

This is what we have experienced over the last 3 years - you are not alone! This is how we are managing the situation…

1. Disimpactation using movicol (see ERIC guide) - we have done this 6-8 times in the last 3 years

2. 2 movicol a day maintainance dose

3. Daily toilet time after breakfast and at school after lunch (led by teachers). He sits with his feet on a stool watching the iPad for 20 mins only. The idea is, if they poo before school it prevents soiling.

4. If he doesn’t poo in a 24 hour period despite movicol, we add senna over night to stimulate the bowels.

5. PANTS OFF! After a period of suspected constipation - it’s difficult to tell because he still poos regularly - we have a weekend of pants off because for some reason this helps kids poo in the right place/ resets him. We let our son use the potty, toilet or even poo in the garden. It just seems to get him out of the habit of pooing in pants.

We are super positive and almost ignore any accidents. Any poo that isn’t in his pants is a win in our books and we use a reward chart too.

We have stopped trying to understand why our son withholds and instead just look at trying to manage the situation until he grows out of it or can manage it himself. Communication with the gp is key to make sure you get a regular supply of movicol but I have found conversations with ERIC the most helpful.

If you are in doubt that this is constipation related, I’ve been there! I found the book attached really helped and even took it to my GP.

Best of luck!

Weeze1984 profile image
Weeze1984 in reply to Le15

I haven't disimpacted her, I'm not sure if need to? I've not had no advice what so ever. She was prescribed laxido without saying how often or anything to use them. She seems to have quite a bit in her pants every day. I'm just fed up of it all. It doesn't seem to bother her. She will try and squeeze on the toilet but it's not when she needs to go, she hides and crosses her legs to hold it in. Tried reward charts, sweets if she goes and the promise of new toys but nothing seems to work

Le15 profile image
Le15 in reply to Weeze1984

Call Eric! They are going to help. This is a physical problem and no rewards will help in my opinion. A disimpactation is messy and takes 5-7 days to get it done properly (we have kept our son off school for a few days) but will cause absolutely no harm so I would give it a go. I know it’s stressful but every time she soils, just think to yourself, she’s unwell, she can’t help it. At that age, it’s not an accident, something is wrong and you are doing everything you can to help her fix this. Keep going Mama!

GPs seem so uneducated in this issue. Try to push to see a GP who is willing to do some research / has experience in the field. In all likelihood, you’ll be dealing with this for 6+ months due to loss of bowel sensation so it’s really worth getting a good conversation going with your GP

Weeze1984 profile image
Weeze1984 in reply to Le15

Thanks for the reply. I can't see any book attached

Le15 profile image
Le15 in reply to Weeze1984

Sorry, this is the one… it really helped to get my head around the fact that it’s probably constipations related, it’s really common and it’s a long old journey to get back to ‘normal’ x

Book

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