10 YR OLD still soils herself daily: My 10 yr old... - ERIC


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10 YR OLD still soils herself daily


My 10 yr old daughter soils he self. Everyday we go thru this, it's been going on now for five yes. She starts JR High next year and it does not phase her. It's like she doesn't care or she is not understanding that if she keeps this up , it won't go well for her. All she keeps saying is she is "Sorry" I have to argue with her to take a shower and that she smells... What do I do? I'm so scared she is going to start middle school and something is going to happen where kids are going to be mean. PLEASE HELP?

5 Replies

Hi there

I am in exactly the same position , my son is due to go to middle school in Sept. This has been going on for about the same time perhaps a bit longer. My son will happily ignore that he has soiled himself the NEED to get clean and changed is not a priority, this impacts EVERYTHING . School struggle as he soils everyday , unless constipated, but are trying their best. I have been told already that the school he moves to will not have the staff to monitor him like they do at his current school, and this worries me greatly.

I have battled with my son constantly and to say it is wearing is understatement, he says the same tho..sorry and that breaks my heart to be honest. I have seen so many people consultants , nurses, play therapists you name it things seem to improve slightly but never stay, he just does not seem motivated to want to help himself.

As for your daughters new school have you spoke to them about putting a plan in place? I am due to meet with the pastoral/senco next week. So i hope to get some sort of reassurance. Have you got medical support around you and her current school to try and make the transition easier?

best wishes K

I understand totally. Are they constipated? Is the soiling overflow? It must be either that or there are issues with their ability to get their poo out properly. For some people a daily combo of Senna or sodium picasulphate and movicol work. Are they sitting on the loo at least twice a day 20 minutes after a meal with squatty potty relaxed for 10 minutes minimum? When kids are this age I think it’s much more disabling. My son is the one who is 9.5 and in nappies due to what seems to be total loss of bowel control. I posted recently about biofeedback training. I’m in the process of trying to get some for my son. Another option is home enema kit like Peristeen. Push for more medical support. It’s a medical issue, they can’t help it. I understand how difficult it is and if I get any joy from Great Ormond Street I will be posting about it 😁. You are not alone xx

Hello Christimanies,

About a year ago I was in a very similar situation with my then 11 year old daughter who has suffered from constipation since birth. Here are some things that helped us.

1) I watched the video by the 'Poo Nurses' which is on this site. There was more than one 'ah ha!' Moment watching it. Things that we had been told over the years finally fell into place.

2) I got my daughter to watch it and suddenly she had the knowledge and language to understand what was happening to her.

3) we did a disimpaction - it was the right thing for her and her specialist later confirmed that.

4) We both learnt that it's possible to be constipated and still have a daily bowel motion! Basically she had outgrown her daily dosage of Movicol and her system wasn't coping hence the overflow.

5) routine sitting on the loo for 10 minutes, about 20 minutes after breakfast and the evening meal to retrain the bowel and water, water, water! An alarmed watch to prompt toilet visits during the day.

6) Even though she denied the problem, hid the evidence and there were tears and raging (not always just her) in a good moment she admitted just how much this affects her, and she said she just felt so 'stupid' having accidents that she just pretended it wasn't happening. From what I have read that is a really common response for older children - please don't underestimate how this affects them.

7) It's always swings and roundabouts. Right now my daughter is having a tough time again. It's nearly winter here in NZ and we are struggling to get her to drink, so it's back to the basics - luckily she is worth it!

Wishing you all the best, I'm happy to reply if you have any queries.

The Laundryymaid xx

Hi all

I'm in exactly the same situation. My daughter is 10 and has been soiling ever since she came out of nappies. My daughter thinks she's the only one - it's nice to know she isn't!

Have you taken your daughter to the doctors? It sounds like it could be constipation and really isn't her fault. I'm surprised she's not phased by it at the age of 10 - she might be saying that but actually it could be causing her a lot of anxiety that she's hiding perhaps? My daughter is really anxious about it and its affecting her school work and everything we do. Her school are being really supportive but I'm really worried about her going to senior school next year as the support just won't be there.

At first I thought I'd just done a bad job potty training. I tried all sorts - rewards, getting angry (which I feel terrible about now that I realise it wasn't her fault!) and not making a fuss about it to ensure it wasn't an attention seeking thing. When she started school I thought it would stop as she would realise it wasn't an OK thing to do... but it didn't. I would pick her up and there would be poo in her pants and she would stink to high heaven (which teachers must have ignored!) but she was oblivious to it.

I took her to the doctors and they said it was probably constipation and gave me movical to try for a month but it made no difference and I didn't go back (big mistake). I couldn't understand how she could possibly be constipated but poo several times a day, plus have multiple accidents and it all be really running. Doesn't make sense.

After another year or so I realised that she really couldn't help it when I found soiled pants hidden in her room. I felt like the worst mother in the world and realised that she was suffering much more than I thought.

Took her back to the doctors and they referred her to the continence clinic. Was given Senna to clear her. Had to keep upping the dose if she soiled and quite quickly got to a maximum dose of 30ml. This was awful - it just gave her diarrhoea which she couldn't control at all. It was just luck if she happened to poo whilst sat on the loo (had to sit for 10 minutes after every meal). After several months of this the continence nurse was stumped and discharged her! Completely useless.

So, another year passed and the accidents continued. I went back to the doctors and this time they referred me to a paediatrician at the hospital. They put her on 2 sachets of movical and 30ml of Senna a day. After a year of no improvement they admitted her for 3 weeks to a children's centre - for some reason she didn't soil much whilst in there, just at the weekends when she came home! So this meant they basically didn't do anything different medication wise and it was a complete waste of time. That was 6 months ago and since then it's been terrible again - accidents pretty much daily.

It's just so frustrating when the doctors see you and say to keep doing what you're doing and we'll see you in 2 months. We've been under the hospital for 18 months and if anything her accidents have got worse. I still keep thinking that there's got to be more to it than constipation - specially as I can't see that there was ever any point where she held poos back or had hard poos. I've been reading about something called Hirschsprung disease and am starting to wonder if it's that.

Anyway, next appointment is July so I think I will have to be a lot more pushing with them to try something different!

If you haven't already then I would recommend that you get medical help for your daughter. I think probably the earlier it's treated the better the outcome - I think half the reason my daughter is taking so long to get better is because I didn't get it treated early enough. If only I could turn back time :(

Well good luck everybody - it's good to know we're not alone at least.

Hi! how it’s going now?? Did they do the testing for Hirschsprungs? What did they find out?

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