Daughter wetting herself

My daughter aged 13 has stopped using the toilet and will wet/soil herself We are finding it difficult to talk to her about this as she is embarrassed about the situation if she is out in public I will take her into the toilet but she is very scared so I have to sit her on the toilet and wait in the cubicle for her to finish if we are not around she will wet/soil herself at home or in public

[JamesParkin]

Have you any idea why she has suddenly stopped using the toilet? Do you know what has scared her so much that she would rather wet and soil her pants in public unless you take her to the toilet and stay with her like she is around 5 years old? (I'm also surprised that she lets you do this.) Does she also refuse to use the toilets at school?

Presumably she also has to clean herself up when she wets or soils, which must be quite a burden if she is doing this multiple times a day, on top of the social embarrassment.

[Hidden in reply to JamesParkin]

hi. I have tried to talk to her about it but she doesn't say what happened at her school the toilets are unisex so I'm not sure if someone looked over the cubicle or under the door or someone opened the door on her I have asked her and she said this didn't happen. once she has soiled herself I have to pick her up. when we are out she won't use the toilets unless I sit her on it and wait in the cubicle with her. she doesn't clean herself up I do it when we get home no one at school has noticed yet only teachers etc

[StellaA]

My 12 year old granddaughter is just the same, she has completely given up with trying to use the toilet in the last week and has regressed to using her pullups all the time.Her room absolutely stinks and she refuses to talk to me about it, besides asking for another pack of pullups or wipes every couple of days.

I have to go into her room while she's at school and fish out all the wet and dirty pullups from under her bed, I bought her a nappy bin for them but she never uses it anymore.

She only turned 12 last week, I think the 2 are related hopefully it's just a phase.

[Hidden in reply to StellaA]

yes we both have very similar problems I'm no nearer to getting sorted she still refuses to use the toilet unless I am there with her at school she doesn't go toilet she wets/ poos herself then I get called to pick her up I did think about pull ups but if she won't change them they will leak aswell. does your granddaughter use the toilet at school.

[StellaA in reply to Hidden]

No, she does not, the school are aware of the situation, she has to wear pullups anyway due to her moderate urinary incontinence but was making to the toilet around 75% of the time for wee during the day and always for poo with only some slight soiling.The school have phoned me a few times, I need to go in if she is refusing to be changed, if she asks or is asked to go she has the option to change herself, have someone change or assist her, but if she refuses a change she gets sent home as that's a behaviour issue.

The school can't change her against her wishes, it's a bloody nonsense.

I think this was triggered by her highschool visit, she is extremely anxious about next year at school, she is still attending a primary school just now, she was kept back last year as it was decided she wasn't ready due to her educational delays and behaviour problems.

If you want to talk more you can send me a chat message, I don't want to put to much on here for her privacy.

Xx

[Goldenretriv]

I can only give my sympathy, it must be very embarrassing