Nearly 4 year old daughter daily wet accidents

[Lebowskithecat]

Hi, my daughter is nearly 4 and we’ve had trouble with her wetting herself for over a year. She knows how to use the toilet and poos daily. I took her to the nurse about a month ago, UTIs came back clear and she had a little feel of her tummy and said she couldn’t feel any obvious constipation. We’ve done endless amounts of sticker charts and I bought a watch with a timer but she doesn’t care, she just ignores them and ignores me when I ask her to go. Often it ends up in a meltdown. If we don’t use a timer then she will just wet through her knickers. Yesterday we were in the garden and I could see her wiggling and wee was dribbling down her leg but refused to go to the loo. We did have a referral to the paediatrician in May but fear this will be cancelled due to the covid outbreak and now we are on lockdown it’s extremely frustrating and lonely. My husband is still working and I also have a 15 month old. Does this sound behavioural or do you think there could be more to it? Anyone else in a similar situation? Thanks in advance.

[StellaA]

Will your daughter be starting reception in september?

If she's got the hang of pooing on the loo but isn't really trying for wees yet it might be good to use pads like tenas in her pants just so she isn't wet all the time.

I would be worried that she dosent mind being wet, it's not something that's good to get used too.

I really wanted to try knickers and pads with my Sophie when her bowels where starting to behave, but her bladder was still too weak for her to stay dry, just to get her out of drynites but she really couldn't cope emotionally without the pullups. She is almost the opposite to your daughter, in that, she really can't stand wet clothes, yet will happily sit all day in a wet nappy or pull up, but if she feels even a tiny wet patch on her trousers she panics, throws a bit of a tantrum, and starts having a meltdown.

I was really hopeful that she would give them a go as she was making good progress toileting, but it was a step to far for her.

[Lebowskithecat in reply to StellaA]

Hi, thanks so much for your reply. Yes she’s starting school in September. She was at preschool 3 days a week before they closed. It was hit and miss some days lots of wet clothes and other days would come home in the same set of clothes but knickers would always be a little bit damp. We do use dry like me pads when we pop out but I didn’t see the point when we are stuck at home. She refuses to wear a pull up in the day- she has one on at night and this is full in the morning. She’s a very “busy” kid and I think she has a fear of missing out. She’s also very emotional and strong willed, it can be a daily battle to get to listen to me to do anything! Was really hoping the hospital appointment could shed some light before starting school. How old is your little one?

[StellaA in reply to Lebowskithecat]

Sophie is my granddaughter, she is 10, 11 in October, so not so little 😂

[Lebowskithecat in reply to StellaA]

It’s very reassuring on this site when I read about kids all different ages struggling, it does make things easier and helps me to feel less alone so thank you for your reply. I know my daughter is only young so I shouldn’t worry too much but these weeks on lockdown are going to be challenging to say the least!

[StellaA in reply to Lebowskithecat]

Worrying is natural when there little, it's not a bad thing, I wish sophies birth mother had been more concerned about getting her clean and dry, rather than just giving up and sticking with nappies.

This might seem counter intuitive but have you got your daughter drinking enough water?, if her bladder is getting fuller more often it will get stronger and hold more.

[Lebowskithecat in reply to StellaA]

I have read about this, typical 4 year old who doesn’t drink water so it’s usually very diluted squash. I bought her a special cup but the novelty soon wore off. It seems that way with everything we try! She leaves it lying around and then my 15 months old swoops it up and finishes it off. I’m just praying we don’t have the same issues when it comes to training my second! I’m definitely not giving up, although I do somethings think just putting a nappy on would be make life a lot easier. She insists on knickers anyway!