My daughter is 5. Never posted here before but I need help, support, ideas or to be honest absolutely anything from people in similar situations.
She has been full on since the word go. She non stop screamed as a baby and yoyo’d from explosive diarrhoea nappies to so constipated her bottom would bleed. I took her to the doctors and they told me to cut food groups (breast feeding) and it should get better. It didn’t. I went back and they sent her stools off for testing - believe this was to look for a milk intolerance? Although they were never very clear. But all was well apparently- but it continued - I took her back and they advised just moving her to formula. Again was another struggle which didn’t seem to make anything better. Once we introduced food things seemingly got better.
Other than her screaming crying, throwing up, hungry cycle. She was just a ‘needy’ baby’ apparently.
She never spoke much when she was younger only screaming, no sense of danger.
And an inability to understand discipline or consequences which is a problem to this day.
As she’s got older she’s got violent, destructive, very manipulative and is a chronic liar.
She’s hurt her older brother (7) more times than I can count and has left scars - now hurts her school ‘friends’ although she seems almost incapable of maintaining a friendship. Tells school elaborate stories about anything possible.
Then there’s toileting, we started training at 2-1/2 and we didn’t seem to have too many issues - other than yo-yo constipation (but not as severe as when she was a baby)
Then she started wetting and messing on the floor and as she just used to scream it wasn’t always clear what she needed.
We had 101 potties and charts and god knows everything else. Her behaviour was flagged as unusual with health visitor and we had to do questionnaires every few months (tick box age related things?) and she was behind but not enough - on every single one - this carried on to nursery.
Nursery were LESS than helpful. She started at age 4 and still hadn’t got the hang of toileting. I explained to them and sent them with almost an over night bag of everything they could need and had my health visitor in to see them too.
But: ‘we can’t spend all day in the toilet with one child’
‘She doesn’t even try’
‘Do you even discipline her at home?’
‘You would benefit from a parenting class’
And then they put her back in nappies and called me up to the school to do every change.
She went up to reception, same issues, more violence, two years behind the rest of the group but never anything done we managed to get her out of nappies but then a cycle seemed to develop 2/3 good weeks 2/3 bad ones with wee and poo accidents - she is either not phased and lies or screams blue murder. No inbetween. But we weren’t in nappies! And I was hell bent we wouldn’t go back.
Then to year one and we got referred to the continence clinic who have just had me do the input and output sheets, but nothing else. Her teacher notes her inability to understand when she’s wrong & doesnt care about loosing her break times, he said she is very behind and still lashes out at people daily. But he is understanding and helpful (already dreading loosing him come September)
But I broke the other day, after poo all over the bathroom and her stood on her bed and wetting all over the mattress and duvet and lying about it and she’s back in nappies. She’s since wet and pooed in nappies and isn’t bothered. I’m sick of playing ‘find the pee’ sick of my house stinking, of other parents looking at her funny & more than anything - sick of getting no help - I’m not sure I can cope?! What the hell do I do? Who do I call? Do I take her to the doctors?!
Well done if you got this far, I’m at a complete loss and no idea where to turn or what to do. 💕