Embaressed about Nappies: My daughter is 4 in September... - ERIC


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Embaressed about Nappies

My daughter is 4 in September and we have been trying to potty train her since her 2nd birthday with little success., we took away the daytime nappy on her 3rd birthday as we felt She was too old to be in nappies even though she was nowhere near ready, since then everyday we battle to get her anywhere near the potty and we are forever changing wet clothes. Due to this we very rarely left the house and looked forward to bedtime simply so she could be put in her night nappy. Last week we decided to go away to the coast and as we were away from home where no one knew us we decided to let her wear a nappy during the day, it was the break we al needed from the potty dramas and yes she looked too big to be in a nappy as she looks about 4 1/2 but no one knew us, however I was still conscious her tight shorts showed off her nappy so I was forever pulling down her t shitprt to cover it. I would really like to take a break from potty training and go back to nappies full time but I am embaressed what people will say, now the warmer weather is here it's hard to cover up the tell tell signs of a nappy. She is still very baby like (dummy and night bottle) so she doesn't care about the nappies and would happily wear them so do I just bite the bullet and go back to nappies for a bit and not wot prey what people think?

17 Replies

Yeah go back with nappies it doesn't matter if people see her my son still in them he's 8 people can see it nothing to do with them why he is still in them

My boy is 7, we are nowhere near ready to leave nappies. I guess it is more obvious with girls, but I'd say leave the stress and go back to pull ups or nappies.

in reply to babysqueak

If you don't mind me asking what nappies are you using I'm trying to find a decent discreet nappy?

My son is 9.5 and in nappies and told me when I told him to pull up his shorts at the park to hide his nappy, “ but Mum, everyone in school knows I wear nappies!”

Maybe she’s constipated, that can really interfere with toilet training, it’s worth being really sure any constipation is well managed with the right dose of movicol, let us know how you get on x

My 5 year old is in pull ups. I reverted back to them recently. He is not so stressed we are not getting stressed because we are continuously going through clothes and becoming prisoners to home. Do what is best for yourselves and don't worry about everybody else. It is harder said than done. You have got enough on your plates. The more relaxed you are will be more beneficial for your little one. Good luck xx

Thanks for the replies, we are unable to use pullups as she is a heavy wetter, any suggestions on less bulkier nappies? What do you all use ? I know we shouldn't care what people think and I know she is only 3 at the moment but people are quick to critisise and will mention her nappy (and rare occasion dummy use) which makes me feel bad but hey if it's what she needs at the moment I will have to try not to take it personally.

MrsSquirrel profile image
MrsSquirrel in reply to

People always have something to say about kids. A bus driver once told me 'he's too big for that buggy'. I remember I blushed with shame and anger that a random stranger was criticizing (he was 4 at the time). Turned out that our son had dyspraxia, that was why he was so tired and falling over all the time with the extra effort of trying to stabilize his balance. Nappies I felt the same way - we weaned off just before school but he has never been dry. Turned out he has a continence problem - after a year under continence nurses we are about to see consultant urologist. My current self consciousness is that we often have to nip behind a tree or up an alley for wees - he gets no warning. I am always ready with 'He has a continence issue' if anyone were to say anything. It's hard always being on the defensive isn't it?

Like others have said, you are doing the best you can to help and support your child, whilst remaining sane! Not an easy job at times. Whenever I see a parent struggling now, I smile in sympathy or make a reassuring comment.

A...I feel like sending you a big hug.

Pls don’t worry about what others think, if they make comments it’s their issues not yours.

If she isn’t ready for potty training that’s fine, she will in her own time.

Working in a school, many come in still with pull-ups/nappies, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. She is only 3 remember.

My 8 yr old has just stopped nighttime wetting and before I got as so stressed, but I thought - no this is him and it’ll happen eventually. X

I had this with my son. I found that once we’d lost the dummies and bottle first, he was the ready for losing the nappies afterwards. Good luck. Don’t feel bad. My child looked so much older than his age too and we got loads of stares too. X

in reply to Wagamama

If you don't mind me asking how old was your son when you took away his dummy/bottle? I'm struggling to take it away and with all the potty issues I have enough on my plate already! I was hoping to get her to willingly give then up but that doesn't seem likely !


He was about 3. Both my daughter and son were hard to potty train. And I realised that for them, after failed attempts at potty training they had to give up the dummies first then we were more successful at potty training. That’s just what worked for us. Not saying it is the answer for you. Three years is later than some kids, but it’s not uncommon at all so really don’t worry or stress too much.

My daughter was a nightmare giving up her dummy. Bribery and all the other tools didn’t work. So one day I just GOT REAL with her lol, and showed her pictures of kids wearing braces on their teeth and I told her that if she keeps sucking a dummy, when she’s older she’ll have to have a brace! I was honest! Told the truth, wasn’t horrible about it and we just looked at pictures of kids with braces on, nice ones I have to add. She took it right out of her mouth and handed them to me! All of them! she liked to have three! One in her mouth and one in each hand! Just handed them over and never asked for them again. I was floored. She was three and a half Then. My son was a bit easier as I weened him off his. He’d still have a bottle st night with water only. Then moved on to a cup and he stopped asking for the dummy. I do wonder if they are all psychologically connected.

So a few days ago we went back to nappies , it had been a stressful weekend an on Monday rather than starting the week on a battle we simply got dressed and ditched the knickers for a nappy. Not my proudest moment but the last couple of days have been so stress free and it's the break we both needed. I need to find a less bulky nappy as she is currently wearing her night nappies which are size 6+ Little angels nappies which seem very obvious under her clothes so any suggestions would be appriciated. We have been out everyday which is a record for us as we were staying in and apart from one comment about "being a big girl" when I took her to be changed ( in fairness she also had her dummy as she was tired .. Shameful I know!) it's not been as embarrassing as I thought. We are going to carry on with nappies for now and see how we progress over the next couple of weeks.

JessGirl profile image
JessGirl in reply to

We used Lidl pull ups, they seemed to hold the large amount of wee from both children and not as bulky as some of the other ones. X

Dear Frustrated2018,

A short answer, to your question....YES you should put her back in Nappies, without doubt. You say that you are Embarrassed , about 'other people' seeing her nappy, Why what's it to do with them? If YOUR child needs a nappy, so what! Both of our children wore nappies, when they were Out, until they were seven, and nine, respectively. As has been suggested, in other comments, you might find Pull Ups easier. (We didn't have that option, back then)

Indecently, if she wants/needs a Dummy, or Bottle, you can give her one but maybe, try to Very Gently, persuade her into giving it up (Big girls don't use them etc. Word of warning here though, if it is Withdrawn to soon, she might 'Regress'- bed wetting, thumb sucking, maybe even soiling.)

Don't take, too much, notice of 'Them' you know your Daughter best. She Will 'Get There' but in her own time.

Kindest wishes


in reply to AndrewT

Thanks for the reply, makes me realise we're not alone, since posting this she has gone back to nappies full time, life's much easier. If you don't mind me asking what nappies did you use as she is a big girl and I can't see normal nappies fitting her for much longer however being 7 & 9 you must have found a decent sized nappy?

Dear Frustrated2018,

You ask how we managed to get 'larger' nappies, for our children. Simple we used one of the companies, that supplies CLOTH nappies. For a Monthly amount, I think about five pounds- remember this was twenty-five years ago- they supplied the initial nappies, collected the soiled ones and returned clean ones instead. The Company, I can't remember the name now, simply asked what size was required. I'm sure that a 'Google' search would locate, such a Company. Additionally we simply bought, one way' nappy liners- incidentally I DO recommend, the Liners, it makes Cleaning Up, much easier.

I'm actually glad that your, still quite young, Daughter is now Back in Nappies. Sorry to be, fairly apparently, telling you what to do, but I would keep her, in Nappies for a few months now. You can ALL do, with a rest on the issue. Presides, as you said yourself, 'life is Much easier'.

I think you will have a Much 'Happier' Household, in the future. Maybe you might even 'Post' as "No Longer frustrated2018"! I really do hope so.

My best wishes, to you all.


How is your kid i wI'll really recommend that you should have her in nappies 24/7

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