Bedwetting whilst away from home

[Beccahutch]

Hi everyone. I am new here and looking for some advice or to hear from someone who may have been in a similar position.

We have a son who has just turned 8 and has never had a dry night. We have tied everything we can think of, doctors, alarms, lifting, reduction in fluid intake in the evening and nothing helps. The only thing we haven't done and am not comfortable with is the medication side.

The issue we have is that he is a very heavy sleeper and seems to have a very high urine output in the night so he soaks through his pull-ups every night. It's stressing us all out having to strip beds, change bedmats and wash pyjamas every day. I am exhausted! On top of that we are going away on holiday which always causes us added stress regarding wet hotel beds, etc.

Someone sent me a link to Eric and also to a company called everynappy who both seem to offer more absorbent and larger sized products. Which all sound great but they are more of a nappy than a pull-up. To be honest I am not completely sure that he doesn't just see the pull-ups as nappies anyway, so I am not sure how big of an issue it is.

So I feel like I don't know what I should do. On one hand I genuinely think that at the moment he probably does need them and I am a little ashamed to say I find the prospect of his bed and pyjamas staying dry to be so very appealing at the moment. But on the other hand I feel like a selfish and bad parent for putting him back in nappies.

So sorry to bore everyone but I am looking for any help or advice from anyone really. But also anyone who may have been in a similar situation.

Thank you

[dpcomm1]

I have yet to see a pull-up with the same capacity as a diaper/nappy some people find the pull-ups better for dignity reasons but if your son is a very heavy wetter or a side sleeper the pull-ups will not work you can add absorbency with diaper doublers or other pads and you can help stop leaks with plastic pants but if you are going to do all that you are probably better off using diapers /nappies

[77mummy]

I have no advise as in the same boat with my nearly 10 yr old son. Like you I have tried everything. He is now on oxybutinin, which has helped massively, but we still get the odd wet night every couple of weeks...it makes no sense! I also need to find a pull up of some kind that is more absorbent as he has a residential at school next July. Trying to find one that is affordable and not silly money is proving difficult, so if you do find a more absorbent pull up/nappy type thing that is less obvious please share x

[Taradiana]

Hi Becca

I can completely relate to your post. My son is nearly 10 and we’ve only had a handful of dry nights. I veer from stressed to giving up with it all! Holidays are stressful. I’ve tried pull ups but find they don’t work so tend to travel with spare sheets, bed mats and I’ve bought 2 really good washable waterproof sheets here on Eric. The sleeping bag liner has been a lifesaver. I have no answers to the future. I just keep hoping he grows out of it!

I wouldn’t feel guilty about pull ups on holidays but be prepared for them not working very well!

Good luck!

[AliStan]

I don't have any magic answers but just wanted to add that I wouldn't feel guilty about using pull-ups/nappies at night. My daughter is 8 and we struggled for ages trying not to use them and all it seemed to do was add stress and a lot of washing!

She now uses her "special night time knickers" and instead of the stress of changing beds in night or morning she can (on occasions) show me proudly a dry pair in the morning.....it's so much more positive, she's happier because I'm less stressed and I have more energy to work with her on sorting out the problem instead of worrying about just clearing up the mess.

Also, I do understand the reluctance to try medication, and I know I was the same, for many years but it can help. It doesn't work for everyone but equally it might and it doesn't need to be forever. From what you say though, if you've tried everything else it might just be worth a go as if it does work it could make a big difference to both of you.

Whatever you decide, best of luck and welcome to the site. if nothing else you will quickly realise you are not alone in the challenges you face!!

[Beccahutch]

Thank you so much for those that have replied. It really does make a huge difference to hear that we are not alone in this.

We are leaving for our holiday this evening. It’s a very long drive and we are only setting off relatively late as I have to wait for my husband to get back from work. I am busy packing!! The only additional problem with that is I will have to deal with him potentially falling asleep in the car.

I hear what you are saying Alistan about the medication, I have read it can work well for some children. I just have a thing about not giving them medication unless it’s absolutely necessary. I know it’s being very paranoid but I always wonder whether we really know what other effects these things may have in the longer term.

The other thing I won’t miss when he gets dry at night is the packing. I currently have a whole suitcase just for his, pull-ups, disposable bed mats and lots of pyjamas. I also have packed a pack of the Abena Junior nappies to try. I have explained that as we are going away we will be most like be trying somethinh new to help keep the bed dry. I haven’t explained anymore than that.

Not sure what to do longer term, I am always hopeful this is something he will soon grow out of, but the end never seems to get any nearer.

Someone suggested trying terry nappies. You can get some quite colourful waterproof pants and being very old fashioned might actually help in that he won’t necessarily associate them with nappies as he only ever has been used to disposables. The benefit seems to be that you can add absorbency as you need and maybe the additional wet feeling might help him learn to wake up. It’s just a little daunting as I have never used Terries before.

Thanks again for you help and advice so far.

[Beccahutch]

Hi everyone. Sorry for being so slow in posting an update but it’s been a very busy time for us. But I just wanted to give those who took the time to reply to my message and say thanks again.

We had a great time on our holiday and I am glad to say after the first couple of days it was stress free, in terms of managing the nighttime situation.

The first night I put a bedmat down and put him in one of the Abena Junior nappies I bought. He was over tired from the journey so there were some tears, but he dropped off to sleep very quickly. He was wet by morning, but I was really glad to see his pyjamas and the bed mat were completely dry.

The second night to be honest we had a few tears again, but not as many as the first night. Same story in the morning so very happy with that. I am really glad we persevered as he very quickly got used to them and in the second half of the holiday I even stopped using the Bedmats.

We have continued using them at home and it’s made for a much happier and stress free home. Plus I am sure he is sleeping better. I am going to see if I can get some financial support from the NHS as the nappies are working great but they are expensive.

Thanks again

[Slice]

Sounds real good! Here's a couple of suggestions. First off, start working on getting him to put on his own diapers. It will likely help him change his attitude about having to wear diapers. One thing that you can do that might help with this is to set up some of his diapers so that one side is already taped up. He may be a bit young but with encouragement, he should learn how to put them on himself. The other thing is to help him understand that it is very important that if he should wake up during the night, even if he has already wet his diaper, to get up and go in the bathroom and go through the routine of going to the toilet. Hopefully this will help him learn to wake up before he wets himself. Ask him how he feels about waking up with a dry bed in the morning. At some point he will most likely admit that he likes it as well. Having him learn how to put the diapers on will go a long way towards feeling like he's in control and that this is something that he is doing, not something done to him. I'm sure you can probably recall some struggles with him when he was learning to dress himself and getting upset because he wanted to do it himself.