How long will this go on for?

Hello, I really need some advice! My daughter has suffered from constipation for 4 years (she is now 6 1/2)and has been on movicol for the past 4 years. We only ever get an odd week with no accidents apart from that she can have a numbers of accidents in a day. It's driving me up the wall and often leaves me in tears and feeling like I have failed as a parent. I am concerned about children noticing this at school and worried she may be bullied about this.

She never seem bothered when she soils her self and when I try and get her into a routine of going to toilet she refuses to go or sits there and tell me she can't do it and 20 mins later she will need to get changed. I feel this is affecting our relationship and getting in the way of having fun as we are constantly fighting against each other! I really need some help ! pleeeeaaasse

21 Replies

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  • I can really understand how you are feeling, my daughter, now 7 was similar and after 3 years of movicol we were referred to a paediatrician who prescribed senokot. That is what really helped my daughter. I have written a few times throughout this forum in more detail. She is pretty much accident free now and takes no laxatives. My GP said most children get through this by 10, some by 8.

    It's been a long slog of stress, tears, giving up my job (have just gone back!) and worry for the future but amazingly I now feel very positive which I didn't feel this time last year. There is hope so hang in there X

  • You have not failed as a parent xx

  • Every sympathy with you. You are not a bad parent and it's not her fault either.we have an adopted eight year old and she has had exactly the same issues for five years,including the not appearing to care. I have three adult sons,fostered 48 children,child minded lots of others, been a teacher and never come across this before. I think we have to accept that it happens,that they probably do care and although they have to have it the medication causes the accidents. I agree that the sennakot helps but ultimately it doe just take time. Things have improved for us but we rarely have an accident free day let alone week!! I have got very frustrated over this but it helps to share and hopefully things will get better one day!! Good luck xx

  • Thank you for the support. It helps to know other people are going through the same. noone I know understands or have heard about this.

    Just a quick question. Should I try and get her into a routine or leave her to it? In the past I try and make sure she goes after breakfast and before we leave for school and every morning we have a battle of her not wanting to try and her asking me to stop nagging at her,but then I have noticed if she is blocked up her mood is terrible. Any ideas???

  • Our consultant advised to try an evening sitting routine as less rushed generally. About 20 mins after evening meal have toilet time. We stuck to this every day. I sat and read to her whilst she sat. She had a foot stool and I had a sitting one! Even if nothing came out we stuck to it. The consultant explained that it gets children used to sitting especially if they are prone to hold poo in and it kind of retrains the bowel.

    After sitting I would give her a bath or shower and often she would then leap out the bath and poo on the loo.

    Have you ever noticed her trying to hold poo in? Strange stances? Hiding in corners, behind doors etc?

  • I will give this a go instead of the morning. Yes she sometimes hides in a corner and sits with her knees up, So I'm guessing she will be holding her poo. If i catch her doing this and ask her to go to toilet she does get angry with me. Is all the anger normal? Or is that just her😧

  • Luella is quite right to suggest a regular time. Especially in the evening. I think trying to make our daughter do this three times a day was just too much and she also has got very cross about it. I have to confess that we have more or less given up on this but I'm sure it's the right thing to do!!

  • I would say that anger is normal, I would call it stubbornness! I have 2 extremely stubborn daughters and getting them to cooperate is hard work. I used to be quite firm about trying to go. If I sensed she needed to poo (we get good at that is mums 😉) I would not let her do things unless she tried on the toilet, e.g. Before going in the garden, before watching to, before computer time etc etc. It's quite relentless but stick to it. X

  • Thank you for all the advice. I will give all your tips ago and see how we get on.

    Fingers gets crossed

  • **FINGERS CROSSED 😉

  • I finally feel like we are getting on top of the problem after a month of treatment.

    Firstly,I had no idea my daughter had nasty fissure. I had been asked to check by my GP but it was inside her bottom further than I was looking so I assumed she didn't have one.

    Once it was discovered and brought to my attention we started a 10 day (Osmolax) washout regime which finally dislodged a very stubborn fecal mass that we had previously been unable to move. This time she passed hard large pebbles/chunks of stool within the very runny stool which we've never had happen before.

    Once the 10 day washout was complete, we halved the dose and kept her on the for another 10 days to ensure the stool remained easy to pass. We will then step her down again by halving the dose again.

    This has allow the fissure to heal and the stretched part of the bowel (where the fecal mass had been) to shrink back to normal size giving her back sensation and control over her bowels.

    I had no idea how much stool had been stuck before seeing it pass. It was no wonder we were having so much trounle.

    I hope this helps.

  • I know exactly how you are feeling. I used to get so frustrated with my daughter and it literally controlled our lives. For us Senekot took our daughter from having regular accidents to being off Movicol completely within 6 months. She was on Movicol for nearly 6 years and I now believe it was a huge part of the problem. That's my personal opinion but GPs and Paediatricians won't have any of it.

  • CAn i ask why senokat is better for your children? My 5 yo daughter is on hlaf a movicol a day and we have got into a routine of evening medication, dinner then poo time which generally seems to work and has really helped teh poo leaks. She still has wee leaks throughout the day though as )i presume) she is still lacking sensation due to her bowel being stretchd. Plus i think there are some psychological issues....

    I am seeing a consultant in a couple of weeks and we will hopefully get a scan but i am interested in the senokat - does it work differently?

    thanks all!

  • Senokot is a stimulant laxative so helps the body push the poo out where as movicol just softens the poo. I think my daughter sensed the urge to poo more whilst using senokot. However it is not advised to be used long term which movicol is said to be ok to use long term.

  • I promise you are not alone. My son has had soiling issues from IBS and caused him and us so much distress. It can be a very isolating experience, you haven't failed as a parent but I know that feeling well. Talk to us We understand

  • So we haven't had a good week :(

    Today alone she has had to get changed 3 times !

    She just refuses to go and try and on the odd occasion I can tell she has even lied about going! She knows when she has done an accident as she avoids me at all costs. When I do catch up to her she says she didn't realise, but she must do or she woulntnt avoid me for a long as she can!!!!

    She says she never feels the that she needs a poo but after all these years on the movicol shouldn't her feeling of needing to go come back by now?

    Also she says it boring but how can I make it fun ? we have tried reading books and playing games while she is sat on the loo but nothing works for her, she would rather just not bother going.

  • We have a five year old with this problem. Anyone have experience of seeking advice from psychologists/occupational therapists on this, rather than just medication and time. I hate the thought that this will go on for years more as it restricts things like play dates and clubs for him.

  • Hi Evala, I have been back to doctors and been told to speak with school nurse but because we are on the border school nurse won't see her! So been back to doctors and we are now waiting for appointment with hospital. I know what you mean affecting play dates, I am on edge the hole time of my daughter goes to a friends for tea but don't want her to miss out.

  • Do you know what team at hospital you are being referred to? Plan to speak to our gp this week and insist on being transferred somewhere. Our little man excelled himself today by pooping out of his pants in PE! Currently soaking his trainers in bleach!

  • Sorry I don't. You might be best seeing if you can speak with school nurse. My doctor said they would look if she needed referring and where.

  • Looking through posts and i have just put 1 on.

    U sound similar to me ... have u had any luck ?? X

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