Help! Poo issues 😔

Hi I've just signed up and was really hoping for some advice please. My daughter is nearly 5 and has been on Movicol for about 2 years which she has half a sachet of daily. We cannot seem to get her into a pattern of going to the toilet however and she is constantly soiling her knickers. She's at school and so often I pick her up and she smells awful, I'm worried about other children noticing and making fun of her. She can go through periods where she's really good and all her pooing is done on the toilet but then for no reason she just starts messing herself and gets really stressed if I even mention sitting on the loo. It's stresses me out massively and I know it's not the right way but I let it show in the hope she'll reaslise and then just go to the toilet normally. I don't know how to deal with her toilet issue and why sometimes she will go and use it and sometimes she won't. We are having a particularly bad spell at the moment and I can't even count how many pairs of knickers I have chucked away this week. She'll happily poo in a pull up! Can anyone offer any advice please?

16 Replies

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  • Ps she could possibly need a clear out a doctor could tell you by feeling her tummy. You could do that over half term and then do a maintainence dose of one sachet and eventually go back to a half.x

  • I left a long reply earlier don't know where it went just saying I have total empathy as my daughter has had identical issues. She's nearly eight and things are finally improving as her sensitivity improves. Look at a video on you tube called Tackling childhood constipation and soiling with a macro gol laxative by Sandra Hanson. Very helpful. Just try and remember that although things get very frustrating for us they can't help it. Also get school on board to help. Good luck and best wishes. Xx

  • Sorry to hear what you're both going through, it's hard and frustrating isn't it especially when your child is that bit older. I could have written your post, my daughter is 4.5 and has been on movicol for over 2 years now. She has one sachet a day and only recently have I cracked it and were down to one incident of light soiling a week roughly, which when you're going from 12 pairs daily and coping with it as a single mum it's a huge improvement!

    What worked for us is a huge increase in fluid consumption. As in anything bar fizzy drinks, at least 900-1000mls a day for 4-6 year olds. Changed her overnight! We have a chart we stick to sometimes as she needs encouragement to drink. At the same time I also cut down dairy dramatically. She has the odd bit of cheese on pizza but at home she has violife margarine and soya milk. She also has a fibrous breakfast cereal and wholemeal throughout the day to help the bowel. I also bought a squatty stool, which was £13 odd on Amazon and encourages them to sit on the toilet with their knees up high. Quite comical but both my children have said it works wonders! Works for me too!

    Hope this helps. let me know how she gets on xxx

  • Sorry forgot to mention before making these changes j did a disimpaction first to make sure she wasn't clogged up! Took 4 days ish to become properly liquid so doubt she was blocked at all. X

  • This is so helpful, thank you to both of you. I'm far more worried about the school thing than she is but we are going to try doing her daily dose after school rather in the morning which may help I guess. She's wearing a pull up this morning and I can see her holding in the feeling so I suggest going to the loo and she just refuses! She's just told me she finds the toilet seat uncomfortable so will invest in the seat mentioned. She has a really good diet and eats lots of fruit and veg, I feel she drinks a lot but I've never measured her liquid so perhaps she's not. Her teacher is aware which is good so I will ask her tomorrow to keep more of an eye on how much she is drinking whilst not in my care. I've just started a job at the same school so luckily I can be around a bit more now! I'm so desperate to crack this once and for all. Thanks again, its good to know I'm not alone! xx

  • If she is happy to go in a pull-up before school why not let her its more important that she goes for a pooh. If you do that try and make her do that in the bathroom and eventually in a pull-up on the toilet. There's no real rush in the great scheme of things!! I know it's frustrating and annoying and I've got cross a few times but then just feel annoyed with myself. Take care and good luck, the toilet seat mentioned sounds good xx

  • I really do feel for you and in fact I feel that everyone here will as we've all felt helpless and angry that our child doesn't seem to be able to do what comes natural to most. So don't beat yourself up about it we've all been there. It does sound as if she with holds when she's full which will cause the soiling and she can't help that As the softened poo will creep around a blockage. as for going in the loo give it time as she seems to not want to use it when she needs to go let her have the pull ups in the loo only and gradually move on from there. School can help by getting her sit after lunch even if she doesn't do anything it's getting into a routine and you can mirror it when you're ready, sitting and not going is still getting her to sit and be comfy. Ca you see your GP to review the movical dose so that she can be cleared out over half term?

  • At school, is someone taking her by the hand half an hour after her meal and going to the toilet with her, and waiting whilst she sits on the toilet, even if she says she doesn't have to go? It's the consistent, personal attention that works. Don't expect her to 'remember'.

  • Absolutely agree this is SO important xx

  • I can also very much relate to this post and my thoughts mirror many of what the others have said.

    It's highly frustrating and upsetting and you feel it will never get better but for us it has, if that helps?

    I agree that maybe for now let her poo in the pull up as it may ease the stress for both of you. What you might try and this is what our consultant told us to do, is introduce toilet sitting time, for us this was after dinner time and before bath. She would sit on the loo, didn't have to do anything just sit whilst I read her a story (maybe your daughter could do this with knickers on initially) it's really just to get used to sitting. Sticker for cooperation.

    I appreciate she may not want to do this but it's just an idea.

    My consultant said to crack this problem it takes real dedication from parents/caters, consistent routines, sticking to laxative regime once you find correct dose (that's the tricky one) and not becoming complacent if things start to improve, you have to keep all routines even when it gets better. All of which is energy draining for us parents. X

  • Thanks for all your advice, we are going to start tomorrow by introducing her to the toilet after meals and as I work at her school I can take her at lunchtime too. Since reading about liquid intakes I can see she doesn't drink anywhere near the amount she is meant too so yesterday we went to buy a new cup and she's enjoying that and I now know how many of these she is meant to be getting through per day. Today we have reached a point of where she won't even entertain the idea of trying to poo on the loo so it's going to be small steps to reintroduce this habit. I feel we have a long road ahead of us but I'm ready to tackle it and am so glad I joined this site as your advice has been thoroughly appreciated. Thank you xx

  • Bless you both and good luck xx

  • When times got bad for us I used to repeat to myself every night 'tomorrow is a new day' ☺️

    We are in a very good phase right now which I hope continues. Half sachet of movicol and 2.5ml of Senokot given in evening. Lots of routines in place, loads of fruit and veg and as much fluid as I can get into her.

    It is a long road ahead but the earlier you get as much information as possible and dedicate the time and emotional energy into it the quicker you will get there...hopefully x

  • Thank you, pleased to report that before bath time last night a poo was done on the loo 😁 I've upped the Movicol to shift any backlog which seems to be working plus I've stopped stressing about her wearing pull ups. As said on here, it doesn't actually matter! I am SO glad I joined this site and feel so much calmer about the situation already xx

  • That's great news. I definitely think it helped when I started to become more accepting of my daughter's problems and calmed down about it all. It is just part of who she is.

    Let us know how you get on or just need to vent frustrations ☺️

  • Does she only have pooping accidents whilst at school? If that's the case, I would suggest that she is avoiding the toilet because of embarrassment and not wanting to interrupt the class in order to get up and go to the loo. You might try to remedy this by asking a teaching assistant to take her by the hand to the loo 25 mins after mid day meal, even if she says she doesn't have to go. She needs to sit there and be supervised consistently.

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