Withholding poo!

[Gharris1991]

Ladies, please help a mummy out who’s at the end of their teather.

This is probably going to be a long post so please bare with me.

My daughter is 3 and a half and we began toilet training September last year. She is dry during the day and night (with the exception of maybe a tiny little tinkle now and then in her knickers). However pooing is a different story. Since a baby she has suffered with VERY severe constipation. She has been on and off various medications to help with this, however has recently been changed from Lactulose back to Movicol as the Lactulose has become completely ineffective. When she was about a year old her constipation was at its absolutle worst and she would cry and scream in pain where it would get stuck. I used to have to just let her poo in the bath as this seemed to be the only place she could find a small amount of relief. She was absolutley fine pooing on the toilet until the whole lockdown happened. Now she is completley withholding her poo. Sometimes she can go a week without pooing but throughout the day I can wipe her bottom up to 30 times where she is trying to hold it in but she gets a small amount around her bottom due to how soft it is because of her medication. We have tried absolutley EVERTHING. Reward charts, rewards, distraction techniques whilst on the toilet like youtube, blowing bubbles ect. She will run into the toilet when she needs a poo and clench her bottom together to hold it in. If you follow her and try to put her on the toilet she has an absolute breakdown-shouts, screams, cries. Yesterday I went though a whole packet of wipes where I had to clean her bum so much throughout the day. Sorry for the tmi but her poo consistency is absolutley normal now! Soft, and not hard to pass, the issue now is the fact she’s holding it in. I cried my eyes out yesterday because I am just so stressed out about it and I really don’t know what else to do or try. What’s stressing me out more is the fact she is starting nursery in September and I don’t know how she’s going to cope whilst there if she feels the urge to poo.

PLEASE if anyone has ANY tips, tricks or ideas of what I can do I would greatly appreciate it. I would like to mention that when she calls me in to say she needs her bum wiped I haven’t been telling her off as I don’t want to make the toilet a negetive thing.

Thank you in advance,

A very tired and stressed mummy!

[slp1963]

Have you spoke to your heart visitor they can offer lots of help and may be able to offer play therapy .

[slp1963]

And please don’t worry about the nursery as hopefully they should be able to support you with this and follow your lead on how to deal with this . Talk to them about it , get the health visitor on board . There is lots of resources out there to talk to children about pooing and a supportive health visitor and nursery should help you . Try and relax about it yourself as she will pick up on your anxiety ( easier said than done !!)

[Gwigs34]

I'm literally crying reading this. This is us to a tee. The same age, the same struggles, EXACTLY the same. Everything. The standing and clenching. I have also used a full packet of wipes a day. Red raw bum and a screaming baby. The worries of going to nursery in Sept. I literally could have wrote this, I can feel your pain through the screen.

I unfortunately can't help loads .. we've done disimpaction several times but the withholding problem persists once she's cleared. We are now waiting for a referral to a specialist constipation team as our GP has helped several times without success. I would really advise you ask the same, ask if there is a team in your trust to help advise you.

I really hope you (and me) get some answers soon. This is soul destroying

Kirstin xx

[Gharris1991 in reply to Gwigs34]

I’m so sorry to hear your going through the same, however it also brings me a bit of comfort knowing it’s not just us struggling with this. I am definitely going to call our doctors tomorrow and ask if she can be referred to anyone. Your right, it is completley soul destroying. I hate seeing the terror and fear in her face that I’m going to tell her off but also it’s so frustrating and stressful because we just can’t understand why she won’t just sit on the toilet and go? Today is now a week since she had a proper bowel movement. I feel like we’re never going to get answers and it’s just not ever going to stop. Thank you for your reply. Like you said I hope we manage to get answers soon! Xx

[Gharris1991 in reply to Gwigs34]

I have also just read your post and I cannot believe how exact they are to one another!! X

[1Luckflower]

Oh we are going through the same thing at our house too. We’ve gone from huge hard stools that only came out when she just couldn’t hold onto it any longer on using lactulose. To just starting the Movicol sachets which i’m Sure is softening things up but now we are just getting a bit hear and there on wipes and she’s desperately holding on. She’s 2.5 years and word poo causes meltdowns and anxiety, it horrible to watch. I was hoping Movicol would make it all slip out but I don’t think this will be the case. My issue is how much my daughter drinks i’m Struggling to get more that 2 sachets in her at the moment. On a plus side although she hasn’t poo’d for 4 days she has her appetite which surprises me, she would normally go for 3 days and refuse most food on the 3rd day until she has had a poo then she was back to normal eating for the next few days, at the moment she is eating what ever she’s offered i’m Just concerned that nothing’s moving out 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Amy1985]

Hello, I know you wrote this post 8 months ago but I'm wondering how you and your little girl are getting on? My son and I are in the depths of hell still after a failed hospital cleanout.