No sex for 10 years

[Mummy-pig]

hi

I’m 34 married at age of 23. I have a daughter

My husband has lost interest in sex, for the past years he pin me for his lack of interest by telling random stuffs like I’m not talking properly to his mother and that’s makes him stressed; he’s stressed because of his new job;

I’m very attractive but he has no interest in sex at all.

Recently he told me that he doesn’t have any interest in sex.

After all these years he pinned on me for that , I hate him so much for treating me like that.

I am shouting and hurting him so much everytime whenever I feel like having sex.

Sometimes I feel like I should cheat on him and sometimes I feel like what if I was in the same situation.

He is really sweet other than this. Is there any way that I should make back in interest?

Nowadays I’m losing interest in sex with him.

[Everton1234]

An affair wont help. It will cause more hurt than it will fix.

Sometimes things just happen. Loss of interest and attraction just wains. Stress can cause it.

How long have you been together?

Try date nights, dress up, doing his favourite things. Remind him of how you and him used to be.

But be aware, sometimes things can't be fixed.

[dadzone43]

This is a place where individual and couples counseling could help. If erection is the issue, a penile implant can fix that. If his disease and its treatment have made him feel un-manned, counseling can help. So sorry.

[Mummy-pig in reply to dadzone43]

sometimes I relate my life to sex/life series. Only difference is I don’t want to break my marriage for kid sake. He never tell me what his problem was . I am 34 and married for 10 years now so you can guess how I miss having sex. I’m from india and I live in uk with my nuclear family. I don’t have anyone to talk about this aswell. Divorce is something i haven’t heard in my circle or family. So I have to endure this for rest of my life. The funny thing is mine is a love marriage. I know him for 2 years but we never had sex before wedding. I never encourage my culture to my child that’s what I learned from this. Living together before marriage should be encouraged to avoid these kind of problems. But I always shout at him and hurt him for being like this, which I really felt guilty sometimes.

[dadzone43]

I am sorry for your pain and for his. I read a lot of love in both your messages and hope that you both find some help.

[luvbunda41]

I am really sorry you are going through this. There is really no way around this except for communication. Is he sick? It cannot be stress alone after all both of you can go on holidays together. Talk to him and tell him how unhappy you are. Sorry!

[usrnaim]

Get yourselves to a sex therapist ASAP.

[krschafer]

You need to get to the bottom of why he lost interest in sex. Is it physical, emotional, or psychological? If it physical and he is unable to get or maintain an erection, then there is a lot that can be done for that, but you should find a doctor who specializes in men's sexual health or men's health. Most doctor's do NOT know what they are doing when treating ED.

If it is not physical, you both should seek therapy. There are many reasons he many have lost interest sex. Don't be surprised if it turns out that he's in the closet.

If you cannot get him interested in sex, then you have decide, how you want to live the rest of your life. If he doesn't change, and you both want to stay together, then you should come up with an arrangement that allows you to get your needs met. Otherwise, you should consider moving on.