62, diabetic and no libido at all

[Inaquandary]

Hi everyone- my boyfriend of three years is a type 2 diabetic. He isn’t overweight and takes metformin everyday to manage it. His diet isn’t the best, but we don’t live together so he eats what he likes.My issue is for the last 18 months he has hardly touched me. His lack of interest in sex is upsetting me so much. I don’t nag him, but I would like him to get checked out. He goes to see a diabetes nurse but refuses to mention it. He just says he’s getting old.Any thoughts? x

[dadzone43]

"Getting old"? More likely getting nerve damage from diabetes and this is affecting his erections. More likely a dip in testosterone and a fall in libido. More likely a depression and a fall in libido. What if you went with him to talk to the nurse?

[xsevenx]

Excellent suggestion accompanying him on his next nurse visit.

[Hidden]

I am wondering if he has performance anxiety. Maybe just ask him for a back rub / massage? Not fair what you are dealing with. I'm in a similar situation but I am 72 and my wife is 70. She is diabetic and overweight and is awaiting hip replacement surgery so intercourse is painful for her. Prior to that she always seems to have been plagued with headaches. I guess cannabis is still illegal in the UK? I might suggest having him indulge in that to free his inhibitions? Maybe take a trip to Amsterdam and visit one of the local 'coffee' shops?

[Inaquandary in reply to Hidden]

Not sure if it’s a physical or a mental thing, he just says he’s old, which is garbage. I don’t say that, I’ve been very patient but he thinks I should just accept it. I feel like screaming What About Me???

[My40]

Going to the nurse appointment is a good start. Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, regardless of the physical cause keep in mind that men go through a type of menopause as well! Difference is when you girls go through it you don’t mind talking about the changes but if one the changes in a man is ED or lack of desire he wouldn’t mention it to his brother, his best friend , his doctor or even his father. Right or wrong it’s the way it is! We have fragile egos in general but when comes to taking care of our woman in the bedroom it only takes one small failure in our mind to create a fear of failure emotional mindset that is totally paralyzing! So we run from the look on your face or your eyes and the gut wrenching feeling of failure it truly terrible! Stick with him be encouraging and him medical help! Testosterone drops hard after 50 for most men! First him a Urologist who will not stop until he gets to the bottom of it Good luck it’s worth the effort

[Angel1950]

How old is he? ED does happen when you are a diabetic. He should be checked by a urologist and most likely he will be prescribed Cialis. That is what I take. I am diabetic and 72 years old.

[Inaquandary in reply to Angel1950]

Hi he is nearly 63

[Bo48]

Try lots of foreplay. Do something different. It maybe a lack of confidence which can cause impotence too. Mind thoughts affect sexual function. Ask him about going along to see the nurse, and ask about drugs for impotence. Don't be too critical of him, again the mind will affect his sex drive and performance. Why not tell him how sexy he is and that you want him. Then show him how much you want to make him hot for you!

[Inaquandary in reply to Bo48]

I must admit I’m not critical but my frustration is now beginning to show -we don’t live together so he feels more pressured when we are together although I tell him it doesn’t matter. Planning a night away for his birthday soon, hopefully I get a present too! X