Although the physical effects of Endo are sometimes unbearable, the thing that is most heartbreaking, for me, is the psychological effects. Although the pain, fatigue and other symptoms have been present in my life for the past 5-7 years, more recently i have come to really struggle with depression.
In the last year, my whole life has changed, not only due to endo but having graduated and moved back home along with other circumstances.
My ability to cope has decreased dramatically and I have changed as a person. it's so sad.
I used to just feel a 'bit down' when i was on my period, before that i had teenage hormonal PMT, But now at 22 I feel i really understand what PMS is.
I am, well I'm not, but i get just so so angry, I will literally destroy anything, i have smashed up my kitchen, I throw glasses, smashed up appliances.... the list goes on. I am not an angry person, and i am certainly not aggressive. I was wondering whether anyone else had experiences like this?
This anger is just part of my mood swings, i will then go to being fine then later i can just cry for hours, i am so sad, i just cry uncontrolably.
This and feelings of depression and anxiety makes me think that i am not normal and i may never be normal again, i have suicidal thoughts which is terrifying and shocking because this time a year ago I was so optimistic about my future, i had just graduated and had the world at my feet.
I am so anxious, about money, the future, stress, obviously about endo... I make myself feel sick with anxiety and cannot sleep, even though i'm constantly exhausted.
If anyone can give me any advice on coping with PMS, depression, fatigue, or even just a bit of understanding...
maybe herbal remedies or therapies suggestions..
Thank you so much for reading this,
Peace and Love