any advice on how to help girlfriend with endometriosis ?

[Allyoucaneatcheese64]

Hi everyone my girlfriend has endometriosis and she is in a lot of pain and I try to help her but she pushes me away, I’ve given her space but I am worried about her, because she is suffering and I want to be there for her in anyway I can without being overwhelming, if anyone can please give me some tips on how to support her I would appreciate it. (We are both young) I apologise for being uneducated on endometriosis and periods in general but I would like advice and want to learn, thank you

[Lid88]

hello, first of all the fact you have even done this post speaks volumes 🥰

it’s important to say that no two people who have endometriosis have the exact same experience/ symptoms etc so I can only advise you on how my partner helps me. There isn’t much really he can do to take away pain etc, but he try’s by doing small things like heating up hot water bottles and a beanie you pop in the microwave (home bargains, really cheap). He always sticks his head in the bedroom and asks if he can get me anything or will just refill my drink. He brings chocolate home A LOT and flowers occasionally. He texts randomly just saying “love you”, I find this one of the most helpful things as at times you do feel like a burden, no fun and you question if they would be better with someone else. He takes me to my appointments too, but never insists on coming into the appointment unless I want him too. He understands that there are days where I can’t go to the shops so will always ask if we/I need anything (he does specifically ask if I need any “lady day items” 😂) or days I can’t stand and cook so will offer to or he will “treat” us to a take out. It’s small things but big things in a way.

Others may have a bit more advice for you, I’m sorry I don’t have a definitive answer on how you can help. You don’t have to apologise for being “uneducated ”, I take my hat off to you for even asking the question 🥰

[Lofty1589]

i wish I had someone like you in my life. The fact you WANT to understand this condition and look after your girlfriend is so, so wonderful.

Research goes a long way! So being able to discuss the condition can be really helpful. We don’t like being a bother so gently encouraging her to allow you to help is a great start. Offer to refresh her hot water bottle, offer some painkillers, a lower back massage. Offer to sit beside her when she’s in pain so you’re there for support, wrap her in a blanket, hold her close if she lets you.

Honestly, the fact you want to be there for her is enough. Start little. It’s hard for us to not feel like a burden with this condition

[Chartolfrey]

The fact you are here asking for advice on how to support your girlfriend is amazing.I also have a very supportive husband, again i dont have the answers except it is all the little things like him taking me to every app, he comes in with me to better understand and hear from a specialist what im going through.

He gives me back massage when im in pain, cup of tea in bed before he leaves for work, texts through out the day to tell me he loves me and how am i. Cuddles me when im tearful.

Just being there is enough but if u know the little things like a bar of chocolate, bunch of flowers, take away if she not in the mood or to much pain to cook. It all goes noticed and really grateful.

Well done for reaching out

[MooMoo01]

I think it’s wonderful you are reaching out for support for you both🙂

As an endo suffers and someone who can shut others out. I wanted to say you are doing exactly what you should be in terms of support, but if your partner goes into shutdown then that is how she is coping. One of the most wonderful ways of supporting is just to validate how the person suffering feels. It’s also rare as most people don’t want to truly know how ill we are feeling. Just being with her, asking how you can best support her during difficult flares is everything you can do. If you can take the pressure off in terms of things that have to be done this can also be so welcomed. Just freeing up the space for her to recover.

And really importantly look after yourself so you are able to be present 🙂

Just the fact you care as deeply as you do will always be enough. It’s quite the journey with chronic Illness end so keep reaching out and being who you are.

All the best