How to help my friend?: Hi so my friend... - Endometriosis UK

Endometriosis UK

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How to help my friend?

Jessieeve
Jessieeve

Hi so my friend found out she has endometriosis and I want to be a good friend and help her any advice on what to say or do? X

10 Replies

Just being there is enough most of the time. If she cancels plans or changes them last minute, it’s because she has to, not because she wants to. Be patient and understanding. Swap nights out for nights in, with films and food... Things like that. It’s all about understanding and doing things at her pace because the majority of the time, it’s really painful and difficult to live with.

You’re already a good friend by asking what can help. I’ve lost most of my friends because I can’t go out all the time or cancel plans!

girli1969
girli1969 in reply to jxedc

Such a good reply! I regularly cancelled plans through sheer exhaustion, and although nothing was said I felt my friends thought I wasn’t making the effort for them. It is completely debilitating at times

Jessieeve
Jessieeve in reply to jxedc

Thank you I needed to hear that I just feel useless x

Does she suffer with pain from endo or has she been diagnosed due to an inability to get pregnant?

I’m in the latter camp, so can help you if that is the issue. Thankfully I have endo but no symptoms bar an inability now to conceive naturally.

Jessieeve
Jessieeve in reply to Mogwai_2

She's just been diagnosed but she's had it for two years and gets really bad pains x

Wow what a good friend u already are!!

I am 43 and after years of missing friends birthdays, holidays, weekend away, hen nights and weddings i am hard up of friends as they just saw it as i was being weird

Or difficult or just didnt wana go or do it....

So if u just understand that every day is a battle especially when on periods ur already there.

She isnt NOT doin stuff coz she being a pain or being difficult she doesnt feel well, also mayb if she doesnt want to go out have a night in with her, she will appreciate that. My friends used to just go out without me and in end they just stopped asking me.

I have good friends now that understand and we have big girl

Nights in and if i dont wana do something as im on period they understand.

Jessieeve
Jessieeve in reply to Lulububs

Thank you!

Just show care and understanding. Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do about the pain.

Ah this is super sweet of you to post. I can’t think of anything that all the other ladies here haven’t already mentioned. I remember one day I was feeling super crappy and curled up in bed. I was away from home as I was studying and one of my friend from home sent me a super nice little care package in the post with some chocolates, a fluffy hot water bottle and a bath bomb. It caught me so off guard it made me cry because it was so thoughtful and just what I needed ❤️

Jessieeve
Jessieeve in reply to Johans11

Ahh that's such a good idea thank you x

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