endometriosis surgery coming up.

[Esmeralda-]

September 12th 2023 I am having surgery an investigative endometriosis key whole surgery . Every time I think about it I feel like my chest gets tight and I’m going to have a panic attack a train of doubt runs through my head.

What if it’s true. Im crazy? Maybe the doctor who told me it’s all psychological is right? Maybe I do need to see a psychiatrist?

What if Ive made all my symptoms up over 12 years?

What happens if they don’t find it again? Will I be discharged again with no help or support?

Will my partner, family and friends think I’m crazy?

If the doctor doesn’t find it will my mental health survive the news, I feel I would give up all hope?

Will my pain get better if they do take it out?

Is my pain going to come straight back after they take me off prostrap injections?

What if that day the surgeon doesn’t believe me? Or he’s to tired to look around?

Why didn’t they fine is 7/8 years ago?

What if he see adhesions and dismiss the pain to that and doesn’t look for endometriosis?

What if my bladder gets more damage and leakages even more?

I feel angry that I’ve not even been able to have a consultation with my own doctor.

I feel I am loosing myself I’m second guessing myself constantly if this is all in my head or if my body is actually suffering from such a horrible disease. I just feel insane and if I wake up after surgery and they tell me they don’t find it will I be able to cope with that knowing I’m being discharged being left in the same place I was in before that surgery With no help no options, no pro-strap injection or painkillers because I’m sure the GP won’t be giving me any pain killers if they don’t find anything.

I try to talk to my partner and family about the feeling of doom and panic regarding the outcome of this surgery but I feel they don’t understand and as much as they tell me it’s going to be okay there has to be a reason why my body is in the amount of pain and suffering from all the symptoms I experience.

Sorry for the rant.

[Jen_dog]

I’m sorry you are feeling like this, and I think we all feel like that at some point, and it’s endemic in the System that minimises women’s health and experiences.

I don’t know why they didn’t find anything last time, but it’s not uncommon: and especially so when there is a less experienced surgeon with endo. Also I believe there is microscopic endo which can be difficult to find.

Considering how much pressure you are under I think actually speaking to someone would be a good thing: not that you are “making anything up” rather that you are going through an awful time with symptoms, plus the pain, plus the hormones, plus the general feeling of being not believed etc. You can self-refer to talking therapies, and this is nothing to do with not believing you, rather just that all that’s stuff you are going through is hard and you probably would benefit from outside support or a sounding board x

[AlexaMac]

Hi, and hey it does us all good to rant when we need that.

You surely are doing it tough and l can feel on a par with you in some respects.

My journey has been different from yours in that l was 75 when my journey began and am now 77.

That aside l had post meno bleeding 20 years after my last period, my first surgeon was very dismissive and kept me waiting a year for my first surgery, this was after having cancelled 3 which were scheduled and pre op appointments kept.

Please if you cannot get to see a doctor at your practice see if there is a gynae technician you can talk things through with, they are excellent and usually in the region of being an advanced nurse practitioner.

Please don’t feel alone in your journey, and if just chatting is in anyway l can help l will check back with you when l get a notification. Try to spoil yourself even if it is only a visit to the hairdresser for a wash and blow dry, that always kept me having something to look forward to, sending a virtual hug 🤗 your way.

Alexa 🌸🌸🌸