Complaining about care from Gynaecologist in Surrey

[MoominBabe92]

Hi everyone,

I had an MRI at the beginning of this year (finally lol!). I had to make several complaints to PALs just to get a telephone appointment to discuss the results, 6 months later. I finally had that telephone appointment today, and honestly, I am feeling suicidal after how I was spoken to by the gynaecologist. I still have no answers.

As soon as I mentioned referring me to an endo specialist at the hospital, (beginning of the call) she checked out. She told me she did indeed mention she would look into that after the MRI, I reminded her the MRI was several months ago and I expected the process to be ongoing already. Towards the end of the call, she grew increasingly frustrated with me, huffing and puffing on the other end of the line and making exhausted sounds. She made it clear that she had little patience for me, she didn't ask about how my pain is or any well-being questions. She just waited for me to ask her specific questions about the MRI, but by that point, I was so flustered I had lost track of everything I needed to say. This is how she treated me during our in-person appointment too and is one of the reasons why I felt extremely uncomfortable about using any sort of surgery with her.

At the beginning of the year, I asked her several questions about surgery with her, she could not answer them, she told me she would email them. In March over email, she apologised for not answering them yet. I bought this up again and she laughed at me and told me she had been too busy.

Towards the end of the call, after getting absoutely nowhere, and refusing to explain my MRI in any real detail without me prompting her with specific questions first, there was a lot of background noise which was making it difficult for me to hear on the poor telephone line.

I asked what the noise in the background was, thinking it was a poor connection, to which she replied "I was just having a drink if I'm allowed to, Sara?" In the most condescending tone, I have ever heard from a doctor.

"Excuse me?" I said, in shock at her tone.

She repeated herself again, thinking I genuinely hadn't heard her, and then a third time, for good measure, despite my stunned silence on the other end. She used the same vile tone each time.

At that point I was on the verge of a breakdown and audibly crying, explaining that after 17 years of pain and gaslighting, I could not believe the tone she was using with me. I ended the call there and mentioned I now felt suicidal and catatonic after my treatment and would be complaining about it yet again.

I have exhausted all options with PALs and I believe their previous involvement has led to the breakdown between me and the doctor, however, I am deeply concerned by her bedside manner and absolute contempt shown for me, I have no doubt other women have faced the same wrath.

I am very vulnerable and if it wasn't for the private therapist I am seeing right now, I truly believe that call would have pushed me to make an attempt on my life.

She is aware the IUD has ruined my mental health (I have self-diagnosed with PMDD) and often brings this up to shame me, reminding me of the "mental health" aspect in relation to my frustration with her, but never in the context of how it is ruining my life and relationships, only how it affects our interactions. She uses it to prove I am 'difficult'.

Any advice on how to complain is very very welcome. I refuse to let this woman treat more patients like this and get away with it.

[Camodo_Cat]

Wow I can't believe how badly treated you were. She sounds extremely rude and not at all professional! Personally I would ask your GP to be referred to a different surgeon who specialises in endo, if it's royal Surrey then I thoroughly recommend the endo team there headed up by Mr Kent. If you can afford to it may be worth paying a few hundred to have a private consult with Mr Kent to get things moving and get answers about your MRI results. Seperately I would complain to PALS so it's on record how awful this doctor was with you and how you are now refusing any care under her.

In regards to your mental health currently, make sure you talk about how your feeling to your therapist and any close family or friends. It sounds like you're in a really bad place but that you are also a fighter. I wish I could fight for my health the way you have. It's exhausting but I really admire you are keeping going even in the darkest of times. Please hold on and know we are all here for you if you need to talk xx

[Moon_maiden]

Hi

Sorry you’ve had such a bad time. Very unprofessional of the dr. You aren’t difficult, you’re in pain and life is crap to say the least.

We can’t mention specifics here, but I live in Surrey if you want to PM info. I’ve been to three hospitals in Surrey re Endo.

Make a further complaint to PALS, regardless of anything before. See what they come back with, then if need be escalate it to your MP. There is also the CQC, they won’t always do anything direct but might do, tell PALS your next steps. There is Surrey health watch, not used them. Your GP can refer you elsewhere as well.

Hormone imbalance can really effect your mental health, ask GP for a blood test to check levels inc Vit D and B12.

[Rainbow2468]

Hi I'm absolutely disgusted at her treatment and attitude towards you. It doesn't surprise me as I've heard that gynecologist's can be like this. I would see your doctor and ask for a second opinion from someone else. That's what I have done as the last gynecologist I saw has lied on report's. One minute saying I'm so old not a suitable candidate for hrt, then telling the doctors I can have it. Saying not to worry about the ca125 test, then saying I need regular one's. I'm currently waiting to hear from a gynecologist who specializes in endemetriosis and adenomyosis. Don't give up keep fighting but do adk for a second opinion, and report this gynecologist too, ad she's just so unprofessional. Sending you a big hug x

[CFin]

Hi, I’m completely disgusted at how you have been treated by this gynaecologist, and sadly it seems this is becoming commonplace with them, it’s appalling! I’m so sorry for how she’s made you feel though, please don’t give up. Don’t stay quiet about it, do report it to your GP, in writing! And do send a letter and an email of complaint to the CQC, no loss in trying! Letters can go astray, emails are traceable (if they care to). Try to keep to the facts, listing each step taken with this gynae and try to keep the emotion out of it (very hard I know when you’re feeling as you are).

But first step is to seek further help! GP in the first instance, see a private gynae if you can afford to, I recently paid £130 for a private consultation, to give you an idea of cost.

Hang in there!Please let us know how you get on, we’re here for you!

[HT267]

I'm in a similar complaint cycle, now going to see someone face to face regarding my care at a Surrey hospital. This wouldn't be acceptable for any other condition so why should it be acceptable for people with endo! Keep the pressure on we don't have to stand for this!

[BloomingMarvellous]

Take legal advice and get official complaint going. Use a solicitor. It’s completely unacceptable.

[moonghost]

What an awful experience! That’s not acceptable. I am so sorry to hear about how bad you’re feeling - I have dealt with the same thing before, including suicidality on the IUD. If anything, I would say just remove it. It is not worth your life just to keep a doctor happy.