just a question from a busy brain

[Ronsk]

I had a laparoscopy in 2013 ,everything was very healthy, no concerns regarding fertility. I later had fertility treatment, unfortunately I lost baby early on. I then had another attempt at treatment and consultant said he would not proceed until I had a cyst removed from my ovaries that they found during a scan.so I had a lap and they found stage 4, severe endo worst (they've seen)apparently 🙄. Now I did not have endo prior to fertility treatment.i..wondering could the fertility drugs have caused it??

[CryBaby91]

I'm not a doctor or a medical professional, so my contribution is purely anecdote/opinion. But to my knowledge endo isn't caused by fertility drugs, the cause isn't known but there are theories around immune system related, retrograde menstruation, genetics and environmental causes like chemicals and other things. I have read that fertility drugs can make endo worse, usually due to the increase in oestrogen which endo feeds off. For me the most likely causes of endo are either immune system related (I have autoimmune cells in my blood, so it could be the cause of mine) or genetics (family links with endo or similar gynaecological conditions), but none of the current advice is conclusive on the causes of endo.

I will say that regardless of what "caused" your endometriosis, please don't turn yourself inside out looking to assign blame. As awful as it is sometimes we just don't know why these things happen, and it isn't always someone's fault or doesn't a always have a direct neat explanation. Just know that you are not alone in this, we all feel the same way. Angry and wondering why we are like this! Sometimes looking for answers just leaves you feeling more deflated! Sending lots of love, I am sorry you suffered a miscarriage and hope you are getting lots of emotional support xxx

[Ronsk in reply to CryBaby91]

Hi,Thanks for your response.

I'm always trying to find reasons as to why these things happen, but I'm an overthinker. I have lost 7 babies over the years ,the last one in 2016. I've had support but I the kind of person that just gets on with life. Yes endo has taken over my life sadly, but thankfully I have other focuses in life.

[CryBaby91 in reply to Ronsk]

Oh love I'm so sorry I think lots of us here have suffered from miscarriage, so there is a lot of support here if you need it! I'm the same with being an over thinker lol I sometimes feel like if I don't know the answer I'll go insane lol. I get frustrated when things can't be fully explained haha! Sadly that is the way of this world though isn't it not everything fits into our neat little boxes. But there's one thing I know for absolute certain...You did not cause your endo! This is not your fault. You did not do ANYTHING to cause this. So please please don't think your fertility treatment has been the cause. It could of "irritated" or "encouraged" it to grow more, but it absolutely would of been there waaaaaay before that. Very likely from when you was a child! Xxx

[Hidden]

I'm sorry to hear of your difficulties in trying to start a family. Was the person who did your first laparoscopy in 2013 an endo specialist? As endo is unfortunately quite often missed by a non specialist, and it is entirely possible that you did have endo but it wasn't spotted at that time. I know this is probably not helpful at all, but might be an explanation x

[BloomingMarvellous]

So difficult and feel for you. Causes of endo well they are still looking so really it’s just understanding the latest on it that might help you find some peace and make some sense of the nonsensical. Genetics play a big part, add in triggers like environment, stress, age and medication at some point there is a tipping point and this is various for anyone of us. It’s quite possible the endo didn’t wave at the previous surgeon and could have been missed, but now it’s pretty present. Peri menopause with its chaotic variations in hormone levels, stress of multiple miscarriages all adding to a potent mix and possibly extra oestrogen with the IVF can be factors. We all have our own journeys to this place and trying to unpick it can be helpful but also heartbreaking. Avoiding the what if’s have been key for my mental health as it’s all too easy to drive yourself nuts with this one. I’ve been both cursed and lucky 🍀 and sometimes that depends on the day you catch me and reminding myself only to go hunting down these rabbit holes if it’s useful in the dealing with now. It’s too easy to torture ourselves over something we don’t have ultimate control of. In the end have concluded have to deal with where I am at today and plan going forward to sustain any sanity. Understand your pain and heartfelt hugs for you both x