Feeling Emotional

[coucouHS]

I've recently been diagnosed with a bicornuate uterus (heart shaped womb) and endo. At first it was a huge relief to finally have a diagnosis after years and years of suffering with horrendous pain and heavy periods but now I'm starting to struggle. I've found myself feeling on the verge of tears more often than not. I feel incredibly lonely and a sense of hopelessness surrounding my future. I'm at an age where all of my friends are getting married and starting families and I'm struggling to believe that's on the cards for me. How do you cope with all these overwhelming feelings?

[Aurora20]

Hi, being diagnosed is always a relief but also it brings up all the emotions you never knew you had. I think the first thing is accepting it and then you can learn how to adapt your life around this condition. For example what you to do when you have a flare up or when your feeling down it all comes with experience etc. I don’t know how old you are but once advice I would give around the future is try not to compare your life to the people around you. We are all on different journeys and your time will come to get married and have kids 🥰 believe in that!! Do you have any family around you? Or close friends you can confide in?

[coucouHS in reply to Aurora20]

Thank you for replying!I'm coming up to 27 years old. I've always struggled with dating but this recent diagnosis has made me believe I don't have much to offer someone in terms of a relationship. I know that's probably irrational and silly but I can't stop those kinds of thoughts entering my head.

My mum knows what's going on but some comments she has made have made me feel worse. She seems almost happy that I could struggle to have a family. She doesn't really like talking about it with me. My best friend suffers with Crohn's and I've tried talking to her, but it's almost like she's turning it into a competition of who is suffering the most so I gave up talking about it.

I'm at a bit of a loss really and so appreciate and all advice.

[Aurora20 in reply to coucouHS]

I’m 28, so similar age! I had exactly the same thoughts as you about dating but please do not let these thoughts stop you from dating and finding someone. I promise you, you are worth it and have so much to offer someone. Your condition does not determine who you are or what you offer someone. It is who you are as a person, your personality and inside you heart. The only way you will start thinking like this is if you change the way you think and only you can do that.

I would suggest maybe counselling, to coming to terms with all of this and just having someone to talk to. If you ask your GP they can refer you to someone.

[coucouHS in reply to Aurora20]

Thank you, I'll try. It's been a nightmare with my GP because they're still refusing to see anyone face to face so they're not really taking any time to properly listen to my concerns over the phone. I can't wait for things to go back to some sense of normality.

[Aurora20 in reply to coucouHS]

I know it’s ridiculous right now with the GP its just a joke! But keep trying and don’t give up! Put it on them and say if I don’t see anyone or have counselling soon it will be on if my mental health gets worse! You have to be forceful that’s what I have realised through my years of doctors etc

[CryBaby91 in reply to coucouHS]

You can self refer to MIND and they can help with some counselling xxx

[coucouHS in reply to CryBaby91]

Thank you!

[CryBaby91]

Hi sweetie, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time and that you've not got much support around you. With some people it can end up being a competition of who has it worse! Sad but true I had someone last week say they had something like endo but "worse than endo" 🙄 but that they had kids and now they are fine. I felt like clapping and saying "well good for you, can't be that much worse then can it because I've had 2 kids and I'm even worse now!" 🤬 people can be really shit sometimes. Even family! So if they're not being supportive my advice would be not to speak to them about it, you don't need negative crap when you're down already.

Have you considered doing any mindfulness from home? You can download free apps and they can be really useful for getting your mental state more secure I have complex PTSD and use mindfulness to deal with flashbacks and social anxiety, I know it sounds like it's silly but a simple breath and kind word to yourself can do wonders. I try remind myself daily that the nasty thoughts in my head (like that I'm useless and no one likes me) are nonsense, I can't stop myself thinking them but I can stop myself taking it on and believing it! Say kind things to yourself daily, try not to hang up on the negative and remember the positive. But if you're having a bad day and need a vent we're all here to listen xxx

[coucouHS in reply to CryBaby91]

Thank you so much for taking the time to write this.

I've been trying to consistently practice yoga which I know can help to manage pain and mental health but I do think I need something extra. I will definitely look into some mindfulness coaching, so thank you for that!

I'm so glad I finally decided to join this forum. Just having people who have experienced something similar and can relate to how I'm feeling is already helping to ease my mind, if only slightly. I didn't realize how isolated this can end up making you feel so the fact that I can talk on here should hopefully help me to feel less alone.

[CryBaby91 in reply to coucouHS]

It really is a fab place to be able to vent and speak with likeminded people, so definitely utilise the support babes no point feeling lonely on top of everything else! Sending massive hugs, you're very welcome and I hope it helps. Yoga can be useful but don't hurt yourself 😘 endometriosis UK have some awesome stretches that are gentle and shouldn't cause any issues with pain, might be worth a peek 🙂 xxx