Addictions..

[Endostruggles]

Has anyone else found themselves addicted to pain relief and if so how have you over come it?

I have found myself addicted to tramadol and cannabis and it’s landed me in a very dark place. I have completely withdrawn myself from people and even this app for a while as I can’t handle feeling judged and having people looking down on me and accusing me of being a hypochondriac all because “I am on my period there is no way it can be as bad as you make it out to be” or “looking for sympathy or attention” when that couldn’t be further from the truth. I can’t even explain myself or even think about what I’m writing or what to say and have completelt lost my train of thought but I just need help I really do. I am fed up of living like a zombie and pushing people away from me or looking at me like I’m disgusting when all I want is to get rid of this constant fucking pain and bleeding! I am 22 I have already lived like this for 12 years and I can’t handle another however many until I hit menopause! I just can’t cope it is breaking me physically and mentally and I feel so fucking trapped and judged by it to the point it’s making me feel like I just want to cry and scream and rip my hair out in frustration!! I just need help it’s destroyed me and I can hands down say it’s won. I am exhausted mentally and physically and honestly don’t know how much more I can take😢😢🤬😖🤯😞

[Moon_maiden]

Hi sorry your going through a very bad patch. It does hurt and it’s crap to try to deal with. It’s nature to push others away when in pain, just want to curl up somewhere, it’s normal feelings.

Have you spoken to anyone medical about it? Your GP can help with non opiate pain relief and will help you swap over, it may take a bit of time.

Do you take painkillers everyday or just around your period? It’s really important to go through it with them. Ignore anything about the virus and GP surgery, they will want to help you, not just with medication but the endometriosis as well. Your not a hypochondriac at all, I totally get why you feel like it can be, I feel that way sometimes, but know it’s real.

Cannabis is available on prescription through specialist consultants, it’s something you could also bring up, it’s not just for epilepsy. It’s down to the consultant if it’s for pain. There aren’t many at present though.

I’ve become very reliant on two wheat bags this week towards pain relief as well as tablets.

Let us know how you get on, take care.

[Endostruggles in reply to Moon_maiden]

Thankyou, it just feels like anytime someone asks if I am okay I always have to lie or else I can honestly see it in their eyes they don’t want to hear it.

I have spoken to GP’s to many times to count plus pain management but nothing seems to touch it, even the tramadol doesn’t really help that much I just find it eases it enough as well as with the drowsyness that I can just sleep through it especially when mixed with cannabis.

I end up in A&E so many times through period pain plus pain without bleeding and ending up passing out or throwing up from it and even then when I have oral morph or through IV I am still in agony, it only ever eases it it never fully goes.

I have mentioned that I use it a lot to doctors and during pain management and none have offered it medically unfortunately.

I use hot water bottles and tens machines as well but again they are only temporary relief but the hot water bottle is definitely a lot better than the tens, I bought an XL wrap around one and wear it most days.

I take tramadol when the pains are at their worst but during that time I find I will sometimes take one more extra if it’s unbearable or take them earlier than recommended just for the quick relief and to knock me out. I have also used to use diazepam for this but haven’t for a long time. Every day I am in some form of pain so if it isn’t tramadol it’s codeine or naproxen.😢

[Moon_maiden in reply to Endostruggles]

It’s very frustrating trying different things and not working enough.

What’s happened re the endo? Have you had direct treatment? Sorry if you’ve mentioned it before now. I’ve just started Zoladex which is supposed to bring on fake menopause and calm the endo down. Then after a course of six, MRI to see if deep. GP did blood test for coeliac last week to start to rule out possibly anything else. Depending on what you’ve had done, it’s worth looking at making sure there isn’t anything else in tandem. If you haven’t had MRI ask to check everything out.

I used to get bad period pain, but never really looked into it after a GP said have a baby, one thing that probably helped was a very active job. I used to work with horses and racing. I think this helped, it’s horrid to consider when pain is around and I couldn’t do it at present. It’s one reason I’m checking other stuff out.

There are also large electric heat pads, I don’t have one, a bit short of electric sockets, but at least they wouldn’t need reheating every twenty mins 😊.

Not sure who you have close in the way of family around. If you’re mum is around, she’s probably desperate to help you but doesn’t have a clue how. Might be coming across as dismissive without even realising.

[Gemmagstar in reply to Moon_maiden]

Hi I was very interested in reading your reply above. I too have been told by a GP and a consultant that I should have a baby to control my pain...and was even given lots of information about IVF. I think it’s despicable that starting a family is a suggested course of treatment...it’s a BABY not a tablet. Interesting to see that I am not the only one that has had this suggestion made to them. Nowt like doing it for the right reasons, hey doc?!!!

[Moon_maiden in reply to Gemmagstar]

I was told this over thirty years ago. Nothing seems to change with the medical world, at least as far as this goes. Yours sound more recent, I could be wrong 😊

Don’t do what I’ve done and never investigated and treated until now, even then I wasn’t expecting it as a diagnosis. Get the right treatment asap. Maybe change consultant

[Barnyowl]

Hi Endostruggles,

I am so sorry you're really struggling, and I know how much pain you're dealing with. Invisible illnesses are the worst to deal with.

You say you're addicted to pain relief. Let's turn this around, are you addicted to the medication, or does the relief the pain medication provide equate with the 'normal' person's view of being pain free?

From your post, it seems like you don't have a great support network but you're definitely in the right place here x I don't judge you, In fact I praise you for your honesty at saying how shit this disease is.

Have you tried hormone treatment to alleviate the symptoms? The Pill is suitable for some people (wasn't good for me with high BP). Your doctor will try you on the cheapest version first, but don't give up - keep going back and they will find one that suits your body. It gets rid of the monthly pain and can practically eliminate the bleeding problems you've mentioned.

Please don't feel alone in this. I started with it at the same time as you and although the information back then was non-existent and to my detriment, I endured surgeries that fucked me up more; the hindsight and knowledge I have and recommend (I've already been told off for recommending an amazing consultant by the background 'powers' of this site!!), can only help you to avoid making the same mistakes.

I'm here if you need to reach out x

[Mumsie31]

I was addicted to co-codamol, I had to wean myself off them gradually, as I would get horrendous headaches if I didn't take them. I managed to come off them eventually, but it did take time. Try to be kind to yourself, know you are strong enough to do it. Sending you light and love. X

[F17rth]

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. It's so difficult that the people around you don't understand what you're going through. That's somethin I've found really hard too is that people think you're 'milking it' and looking for sympathy. What I try to remember is that the fact that they don't understand is not their fault and it's not deliberate. It doesn't sound like pain medication is working for you. What other options have you looked at? What are you're doctors saying? Maybe learning some ways to deal and live with the pain might help such and mindfulness, meditation and coping techniques? Also looking in to any local support that may be able to help with addictions. You might have heard all of this before but would really like to help if I can. You don't have to do this alone x

[Nettkins]

*** No judging here!!! ***

I agree with what everyone here has written so far, I am currently addicted to zapains and have been for a long time now- a mixture of codeine and paracetamol.. I take them everyday and if i don't I feel awful!! I also have to wear morphine patches every month for 7 days over my periods... and like you have ended up in hospital but only a few times.

Endometriosis is one of the top 20 most painful conditions you can have so you are most definitely not just looking for sympathy - you 1000% deserve it. There are soooo many of us in the same boat and we need to take pleasure in the odd good day we experience ...unfortunately. Have you been for surgery to diagnose and remove if possible??

It is horrible, the thought of having to wean off something that is helping you so much but there needs to be an alternative medication plan in place to help you get off the addictive stuff... I really do feel for you though and know exactly how your feeling. Speak to a GP and if they are no good- maybe try and reach out to another one somehow and book into medical condition counselling...i have been offered this a number of times but have never attended a session myself but I'm sure it would be very helpful... Fingers crossed you get the help you deserve and one day (VERY SOON) you will find peace. xxx

[Beatriz39]

Hi, I get you completly. I have Endometriosis, I had a laparoscopy 6 months ago and since then the pain is even worse and more often. I also have severe depression, anxiety so I have to take a lot of medication, among other pills I have to take benzodiazepins, very addictive, people judme all the time...even my family. They think is all in my head and that I don't need them and that I should overcome depression, anxiety and social fhobia without medication... Is so hard for me not to be supported, but in the end is my body and my health so if I can't fight these illness without medication I will still taken it until the doctors or myself feel that I'm ready... we need to stand up for ourselves, because is US who suffer. Keep your chin up and do whatever works for you..xx

[Moon_maiden]

How are you feeling today?

[Rae253]

Hi hope you feel a little better after sharing you feelings. Feel so much for you and send a virtual hug 🤗 I take Cocodemol every day. I have to take them after I go to toilet (number 2) as the pain is terrible. Because they can cause side effects like constipation, they help me as I can sometimes go 💩 4-5 times a day without them! I try hard not to take them and have tried paracetamol and ibuprofen instead but it doesn’t touch the pain. Sometimes I think I’m addicted and then other times I tell myself that I’m taking them for a reason as nothing else hurts! My gp has spoken about the over use of them but she understands that they help too.

Speak to your consultant, have they not arranged a Lap?

I have previously been on Prostap injection along with livial hrt (to help side effects) but that is only good for me for 6-9 months then makes me feel crap. Speak to your gp about something to stop your periods definitely.

Take care xx

[Moon_maiden in reply to Rae253]

I’d agree there is a fine line between dependant for a useful, reasonable life and addiction. At least your GP is reasonable and seems helpful.

I’m trying not to take too many, but know that to keep pain in check it has to be on a regular basis.

[wdoneal]

I was on tramadal for 2 years for back pain. While it worked amazingly well, there were side effects so I decided to get off of it. I never took more than 100 mg a day but even trying to get off that cold turkey wasn’t going to happen. I went on a two week tapering program reducing by 25 mg every few days until I was off of it. That worked fine and no negative effects. Don’t know your dosage so you’d have to tailor your tapering to that. Hope this helps.