Relationships/dating with endo

[Bubble_by]

Hello everyone,

So I know I've posted something similar before but I'm just looking to restore my faith in menkind tbh.

I'm wondering how does endo impact dating and relationships. I haven't had great experience with this in the past in terms of boyfriends being very understanding or me not being able to have sex.

Whilst I can only hope that I find Mr. Right one day, it doesn't stop me from worrying if men will find it off putting that I'm unable to give them what they want sometimes.

I think endometriosis/general pain has put me off dating for quite awhile, but I'd like to try again when I'm pain-free (hopefully soon!) and I'm more worried about the reaction to this when I explain this to him.

Anyway I'm wondering how anyone else finds dating/relationships with endo or whether it's just my bad luck that I can't find a 'nice man' 😅.

[Milly2408]

My boyfriend is very understanding, he gets my hot water bottle for me, I send him to the shop for painkillers and he's more than happy to do it. He didn't know much about endo before we got together, but took the time to listen and now he gets it, he just wishes he could take the pain away for me.

I'm lucky, but there are guys out there who will be supportive and understanding about it too, as for the sex bit, any good relationship shouldn't mean that sex has to happen when they say...if you're in pain then that's not your fault and they should understand and stop if you need or want to.

I've always kept mine a secret in previous relationships until a few months in, but this time I was upfront and I'm glad I was. I worry about children and that my boyfriend will get sick of us not being able to have one of our own, but that's not the case. He's said as long as we're together that's all he wants, so that's some reassurance too

Good luck with the dating!

[Bubble_by in reply to Milly2408]

Ah he sounds lovely.. Hehe thank you x

[Hidden]

I started getting bad endo symptoms again about 2 months after I met my boyfriend last year. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and not something within your control. If I was in pain when I was with him, I’d just say so. When he asked what was up, I’d just casually say it’s my Endo. If I was having a particularly bad week, or saw something from Endometriosis UK on Facebook, I’d write a post about. It’s not something you should feel like you have to hide.

My bf accepted that this was just a part of me (as he should!). We’re lucky that one of his rugby teammates is a gynaecologist, so (of his own initiative) my bf asked him what endo is and what he can do to help me if I was in pain.

I got progressively more and more ill over the coming months (not great for a brand new relationship!) but my bf was understanding and just wanted to help me feel better. And when it came to sex, he just wanted to know he wasn’t causing me any pain.

I had my 3rd laparoscopy 7 months into our relationship - all of my family live overseas and none of them were able to fly over to be with me so I relied on my bf to get me from hospital and look after me while I recovered at home. I was terrified it would either make or break us ‘playing house’ for 1-2 weeks. It definitely made us. He loved that I needed him and has been so encouraging of me getting back into work, training & refereeing since.

The good ones are out there - who are understanding and want to learn how to help and support you. And they do it because they genuinely like you as a person.

The ‘bad’ ones don’t deserve you anyway x