So quick back story. I have endo stage 4, and adenomyosis. I was booked in to have hysterectomy on Monday the 11th of may. Everything was going ok until I woke up in intensive care unit. As soon as they put me to sleep a had a ‘profound allergic reaction ‘ I was worked on for about four hours before being made stable and moved to icu where I woke up with breathing tubes etc. When I came too and tried to feel my stomach I realised I had no pain there... I didn’t have the operation. Through trying to ask wtf was going and sobbing with breathing tube in situ I was told I was a hairs breath away from not being alive at all. I sobbed and sobbed... as I look back (only four days ago this happened) I was more upset with not having the operation then the fact I nearly died. I mentally punished myself for being trivial. But as I lay here at 2am in increasing pain from my uterus and the fact I feel like I been hit by a bus (chest compressions, allergic reaction, severe bruises to my throat and arms) I realise that living with this pain some times seems more daunting then dying... it’s sad isn’t it?
FYI Iv had about 20+ operations in my 33 years for various reasons and never had any reaction other then being sick when waking. I have to now have allergy clinic as well as anesthetic clinic before they will book another date for op
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Holleymuzz
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I’m so sorry to hear you ended up in icu, I have worked in an intensive care unit and I know exactly how horrible it must feel for you!! You have been through so much so let your body recover and rest - even though you didn’t have the op you infact had worse treatment to keep you alive. Let your body recover and then wait for another date for your hysterectomy, fingers crossed everything goes okay next time!! For the endo/adeno pain, it will be hard but it’s better to be in pain for a few more months rather than not be alive. Always here if you need a chat, Stay positive xxx
There will be a lot of things on the internet about how to deal with being in an icu. From working in icu, I have found that patients don’t actually understand what has happened to them and because of sedation etc they feel the same as you - left in limbo. Can you speak to your nurse who is with you and ask her/him to explain about everything? It can have late effects, it might not have hit you now but once you get home or back on a normal ward you may sit and think about what has happened and some patients do develop ptsd. Look after yourself, it sounds like you’ve been through a lot. Remember there are psychologists within the hospitals who you can ask to speak to to discuss your feelings about everything xx
It does seem odd that I’m home already?? I understand I recovered well from the trauma of it all was off icu quickly as I was up n about. But didn’t stay long on the ward. I think I pushed myself to get home to my daughter who is ten and wasn’t dealing with it very well . I am on medication for my mental health already so perhaps I should reach out to my doctors x
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Wits end
is the end in sight?
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It this the end of the road?! 
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