Omg phonecall from work - im in tears now

[luthien]

Hey, so im off for just a day hopefully with my 3rd period after my lap (second one), it was an awful recovery and i was signed off for a month.

Ive just had a phonecall from my manager asking me to consider, as she'll be asked by hr; can i manage my work health balance? Do i really want to do the job im doing, software? Does full time work? Is working here suitable? Is my condition manageable with work? They need to manage workloads and resources.

Omg im off ill, so now im in tears, so upset. Im trying to rationalise it, is she just asking to tick boxes to say she's asked? Is it to do with the company not wanting me? Am im being told i need to sort my health out to be at work?

Ahh im so confused and my period endo symptoms this month are horrible so its not helping my emotions.

Any kind words appreciated x

[weekari]

You poor thing! That's the last thing you need when you're unwell.

I'm not sure how much of what she's said is actually allowed/legal. You have a diagnosed medical condition and if you're able to work (it seems that generally you are, it's just when you have a flare up or are recovering from surgery?), they have to make reasonable adjustments to make that possible. You have legal rights with this. They can't just fire you because your illness is inconvenient.

Once you're feeling a bit better, it might be worth your while getting a bit of advice about your rights here. Maybe citizens advice bureau could help you with that? I think there's also a page on this website that includes info for employers. If you search for it in sure it'll come up.

Does your company have an occupational health department? If so, it might be helpful for you to speak to them and they can help your manager to be more supportive of you. Even hr might be able to help give you info about what's going on.

I know it's really hard to not take what she's saying in and have it affecting you but for your own sake, you really need to try not absorb it. This is all about her issues, she's maybe stressed, under pressure or just not a very compassionate person due to her own issues. But these are all HER issues. You have a chronic illness to live with, it's enough for you to contend WITH, don't take her stuff to. Try to imagine that you have an invisible shield around you that all the rubbish from other people can just bounce off.

You need some self care today. Switch that phone off. Have a lovely bath with nice candles or do something that you feel is lovely and caring for yourself.

Take care x

[weekari in reply to weekari]

Here's the link to the file... endometriosis-uk.org/public...

[luthien in reply to weekari]

Aww thanks

yeah need some me time.

My work does have a hr dept, we cant contact oh ourselves though. I have a unite rep so i'll call her tomorrow, shes based at work, so i'll meet up and mention whats been said.

Its just a shock as i know they have resourcing to manange but can they blame that on one day a month, if its weekends it wont even bother them

[AllthatGlitters]

Hi that’s awful, I just wanted to reply to say that you shouldn’t be treated like this, your boss doesn’t have a medical background so she can’t be asking you questions like this. If she is that bothered, she can send you to OH and I have found her to be on my side (so don’t worry if you do get sent).

As someone else has said they have to make reasonable adjustments for you, it’s sinply not a case of if you are unwell and off sick that they can give you your P45, the law doesn’t allow this.

Sending you a hug anyway, I know what it’s like to have unsupportive managers and you often wonder if they have ever been ill in their life if they treat us all like this x

[luthien in reply to AllthatGlitters]

Thanks soooo much for your reply x

My manager appeared to be really supportive throught the time i was recovering from my op but that may be because i was either in or signed off, so she couldnt say anything. Now its the first day since march i have self certified she has an issue, and march was a bacterial secondary chest infection so not even related, the time before that was feb for endo period pains, so its not as if i'm off lots. Just seems like shes jumped on me now i'm "free".

Lets hope she's just voicing pre-emptive concerns for my future now, rather than immediate concerns for the next months. I mean come on it's one day and 2 months after op. Even if its one day a month long term thats not like its every month as some will be weekends....you get the idea.

The cant dismiss me as theyve offered flexible working which i have yet to try as i've not needed it - and they did say if i'm ill then i'm ill so what should i do....i suggested work from home but they wont have that even though others in our team do...

I've talked to my unite rep and she suggests sending an email asking for clarification on what was discussed in the phonecall, explain that i was unwell so i just wanted to check i hadn't misheard....i shall do that. Then i have it in writing, bet my manager wont actually say what she said in the phonecall.

[AllthatGlitters in reply to luthien]

I would ask them to put you to Occ health. Explain to him / her how you feel about your condition, tell them what adjustments you want such as reduced hours, compressed hours or working from home. They can’t allow some staff to do this and not others. Remember the law is on your side. I feel for you as I have been through this. Pm me if you feel you need a chat x