Managing Endo and work 😞

[Hlra]

So back in feb I had my Endo surgery and it settled a little for a while but has slowly come back worse and worse, this months period and lead up has been the worst I’ve ever had, literally couldn’t stand upright this morning in so much pain, cramping, next to impossible bowel movement, even peeing was such hard work 😓 I’m a hairdresser and require standing all day and being that sunny positive person which today was just not possible, we don’t run a Column therefore dont need to cancel any appointments or anything when sick, so I message my boss as she knows full well my condition and not only does she try pushing me to go in anyway, but when I tell her I’m in too much pain to even walk properly she just ignores me and so does my assistant manager 😢 I feel so low and like this huge nusance, but at the same time I feel it’s not ok to treat someone that way knowing they have a condition that makes daily life hard. What should I do?

[Cupcake1617]

Sorry to hear you’re having a hard time and with work not being totally supportive. I’m a teacher so I know how hard it is to be on your feet and be so happy around other people when you feel really bad. I find tiger balm, hot water bottles, great pain medicine and lots of caffeine do the trick for me to get me through the day. Also, over time you get to know what works and when you need certain things. I hope you find something to help soon xx

[Hidden]

Hi Hira,

I don't know what pain relief you are using but I found that the only thing which helped was mefenamic acid, and if I took it early and consistently enough it allowed me to have a relatively 'normal' day - I could function at work etc. It's prescription only and made a huge difference where other painkillers wouldn't touch the pain at all. I also ended up taking tranexamic acid to reduce the blood flow too. You can also buy strap on heat pads - I looked at getting one of those for working. It sits across the lower back and stomach. A lot of my pain these is in my back so that would be a viable option in my case.

My hairdresser has a little stool to perch on. I know it's not practical for everything but is that something you could try? Just taking the weight off and adjusting position seemed to help a little bit for me.

I hate the fact that some people just don't get it - I think those who are lucky to have painless periods just assume you are over-sensitive but in reality it's agonising.

I really hope you can find some relief and I apologise if you've already tried all of these things.

[Sagada]

Hi Hlra! First of all, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through - I know exactly what you are talking about, because I've been through exactly the same. I will be honest - unfortunately British law does not protect employee's rights as much as it should and as much as it does in different European countries (e.g. your employer has a right to dismiss you even though you are on a sick leave etc.). Still, there is several things you have every right to request. Your employer MUST prove they tried to offer you help, e.g. by adjusting the work environment, the number of breaks, etc. I would strongly recommend to keep your communication in writing as much as it is possible (e.g. text messages, emails - not phone calls or chat 1:1). Secondly, provide your employer with medical documentation proving your health situation - even with a letter from a GP explaining what is your condition, what are the symptoms (I asked to just write directly I am not able to sit properly when the pain is really bad, not mentioning standing). Make sure you have a prove you provided your company with this. There are also NGOs you can reach to to discuss the situation you are facing at work, they can provide you with free advice. Feel free also to write/call/go to your local Citizen Advice Bureau - they also give a lot of advice how to handle the conversation with your employee, what are your rights (in relation to many different factors, like a type of your contract, how many years you have been working in this place and so on). If things get really bad, feel free to start a case - with enough examples (like emails, text messages etc.), sometimes you can really win the battle and get a compensation (I know it sounds like an American film, but this does happen and with strong prove you can really win it!).

Unfortunately, I am right now at a point where I decided that my mental well-being is more important than having a constant fight at work. I am looking for a different job, with less hours and more friendly environment (e.g. I checked reviews, asked friends about this place etc.). I know that the last thing you want now is to make drastic changes, to feel stressed out about money, etc. Take one step at the time! But remember, any stressful situation has a really huge impact on your health and your endo - e.g. I realized that I was in a big pain immediately after every heated conversation or a formal meeting with my manager. When I am at home on a sick leave, even the 'normal' pain I experience every month get lighter and more bearable.

This would be huge change and I know it may seems scare - but think in a long term: what skills and experience do you have? Maybe you can start your own business (e.g. in a spare room?), where you are your own boss and you can provide yourself with any kind of support you need, with time-frame fitted to how you feel? It's just a thought, but remember - having such a skill like hair-dressing may really be a great opportunity to change your life and work on your own terms, your health must come first and a manager who does not have a clue what you are going through will only make you feeling worse and worse.

[Hlra]

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your replies and they have helped so much, I’ve not looked on here for a while as I was going through a rough patch and felt I couldn’t bare to look. I’ve recently written an email to my boss explaining my situation and had a meeting with her about it, she still doesn’t quite get it, so the struggle will continue but at least I’m a bit closer, hopefully there’s some element of understanding now but we’ll see. Thank you all for the supportive messages, I really do feel allot better and much less alone ❤️