I've been suffering for many years but am saddened to say I honestly have hit rock bottom.
I have had another hospital admission due to a ruptured ovarian cyst. But again it was a fight to be taken seriously have scans ect. Once they read your history they automatically presume it's "just the endometriosis". I wouldn't have gone to the hospital but my G.P said if I didn't get someone to take me he would call an ambulance (I drove myself in the end but didn't tell him that).
When I finally got seen by the surgical team on my 3rd day they said it was the cyst and probably the adhesions... his actual words were "well we are just going to have to call a horse a horse or whatever the saying is"... meaning it's your Endo that's it.
I broke down and said I didn't want to be here (living) any more and I saw it broke my mum's and partners hearts. The Dr overheard and was going to call security (because I walked...crawled to the car) and keep me in for observation. However my partner convinced them that he would ensure I was safe.
But that feeling never went. I have been house-bound for nearly 2 weeks unable to work therefore had worries about money on top of the excruciating pain.
I actually felt like giving up the only thing that stopped me is how my family would feel if I did.
So I went to the Drs initally for an allergic reaction where my whole face has swollen and come out in a rash WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS! And I plucked up the courage to tell her how low I was... I told her I had suicidal thoughts and she was more interested in telling me how to apply the steroid cream she had just prescribed.
Anyway I have now been put on Citalopram 20mg and have been on them for 3 days now. I was wondering how many of you are on anti-depressants and if you think they work?
Sorry for the long winded rant and thanks in advance.
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JadeH92
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Sorry you are feeling like that. Are you on Zoladex? I heard it gives you sucidal / depression. But it just sounds like you are fed up? Have you thought of a hysterectomy? I hope someone else is here to better advise on the antidepressants. I know some people say the work. Please don’t give up. I hope you feel better soon sweetheart. Life throws so many odd balls. Some are put through more than others. But it’s because we are the stronger ones. I hope your hardship eases xxx
I feel pretty much the same way. I am not going to say that it will get better or that you shouldnt feel that way. I have been depressed for 10 years and this last year with the increase in symptoms has made me wonder what I was worried about before...like things are actually shitty now and theres nothing I can do because I cant even get Drs to listen to me. I have said before that I honestly dont know how Im going to deal with this for 25 more years... I dont want to. I have thought about getting on anxiety and depression meds simply to help my outlook on things. I think it is a step in the right direction. I think you should go after whatever you need to make yourself feel better and make your life easier. Absolutely noone should judge or try to stop you. I dont have any fabulous advice other than to say I know how you feel really I do. I think you should do what you need to do. I hope you feel better xx
Hi there Jade I am so sorry to hear how low you are. I was similar over a year ago and went to GP when I lost control with my beautiful girl. I’ve always been a very happy person and I was struggling to cope. I remember sitting in the car outside work having a conversation with myself about going in. When I got in I sat on the floor by the filing cabinet and think I hadn’t moved in a while. My colleague was fantastic and helped me. I was put on citalopram and it took 3+ weeks but I can function again. I’m sad to say I still get low days when I want to shut off from the world but I can power through to a degree. I no longer have fantasies of driving into a tree!
Best wishes Hun it is so hard this condition and I HATE having to take these pills But they help. Keep thinking of the family as they do give you a reason to carry on. I hope you have a good consultant and be honest with them. I’m on Zoladex & HRT now and it’s definitely helped. Sadly I need major surgery and I’m hoping that will take away my residual bowel pain. Please stay on the website we all “get it”
Let me tell you how brave you are for having the courage to share your thought and feelings here! No many people do it and you are already in the right path! Talking to people how low you are helps you and others to realise that you need help, I am only saying that because like you I have been in the same situation and I know exactly how you feel, but I also know you are a strong woman because you had the courage to face the problem and talk about it, in my experience I took antidepressants fluoxetine I think it was 🤔 but two days later I quit because apart from all the other medicine intake I said one more tablet is more insane than feeling the way I felt so I stopped and decided to call the Samaritans from time to time, went to hospital every time the pain was unbearable like every month I was visiting the ward I think all nurses knew my name by heart 😂 at least I was looked after for a few days in hospital, was given morphine (it did help ) I was asleep most of the time in my visit to hospital.... I endured the pain for two years before I had my surgery 4 months ago! I can only tell you by my experience the more the hospital and the GP know about the way you feel the more they have to help and raise a red flag! Is not only about our physical well being but also our mental one too!
Anyway I hope you feel a bit better and please please don’t give up!
Your story sounds really similar to mine. I suffered with ruptured cysts for years and allergic reactions. I was about to go onto anti depressants and then I decided to try naturally. I changed my diet to the endo diet and LOW HISTAMINE/ANTI CANDIDA & honestly it changed my life! Pain completely disappeared, anxiety and depression lifted within a matter of days and allergies cleared up completely. Endo is connected with allergies and a histamine intolerance. So foods high in histamine and histamine liberating foods should be avoided. You might think we I’ve tried gluten free etc but it’s not about that. It’s about gluten, dairy, alcohol, processed foods & SUGAR free and low histamine. It really really works. Histamine runs off stress too so daily mediation works wonders x have never had to resort to anti depressants as this changed
Hi jade. I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been going through all this. I was on antidepressants for 7 years (not related to endo) and came off them last August. When my endo symptoms began I felt so close to going back on them but managed to get through with the support of my wonderful partner and family and friends. What I would say is you need to change GP - having a health professional who is able to support you is so important - unfortunately there are some GPs out there who don’t know how to support those with mental health problems. I switched a few times until I found someone who was able to support me and I had a good relationship with. And have you thought about asking to be referred to either a counsellor or pain management specialist? It sounds like the pain you’re experiencing is really contributing to your low mood - and this is totally understandable - I remember saying to My boyfriend that I didn’t want to go on living anymore after months of daily pain and not sleeping I was so miserable. Seeing someone about your pain or the GP to discuss your medication might be very helpful. With your antidepressants - give them a good couple of weeks to kick in - it takes at least 2 weeks for them to start working - I certainly found they helped me but it did take me a while to get my dosage right and the side effects I experienced weren’t great - I had to switch the type of SSRI several times to find one that I had the least side effects to. Communication is also so important - I couldn’t have got through the last through years without my amazing friends who came over at the drop of a hat to stay with me when I was feeling down/ hopeless or couldn’t go out. Hold on to those special people in your life and don’t be afraid to be open and honest with them about how you feel. Explaining To them how you’re feeling will help them understand what your going through and how to best support you. I gave my partner a copy of a book on endometriosis and it really helped him to understand more about the condition and how it was impacting my life. Having a good support group around you was more important to me then the antidepressants I think. I understand how you feel re: finances - I ended up having over 3 months off of work and I was just so anxious about losing my job but what my partner said was right - you have a valid illness that is well documented - your employer cannot fire you by law. If you have any anxieties about work it is definitely worthwhile speaking to the Occy health team/ managers and coming up with a plan. Try to take each day as it comes and - most importantly - be kind to yourself. Every small accomplishment you make you need to acknowledge. Make time to pamper yourself - even if you’re stuck indoors - have a nice hot bath (or cold one in this weather 😸) or find a really good box set/ book you enjoy. The next couple of weeks you will feel downy but it will get better I promise you. Keep talking to your friends and family - and us on here! That’s what this support group is for 😊 and sounds like it would also be helpful if you call the endo uk support group number - really helpful to talk to someone who will understand what you’re going through and can perhaps provide some practical advice (endometriosis-uk.org/get-su... - they’re website has a list of their openings hours.
Hope this helps and keep going - you’re doing amazing 😊💪🏼
Yes I’ve just been put back on them. Having night terrors. Also there was an incident in work where I got so angry with a work colleague that I actually threw a chair at her. I can’t believe how bad it is effecting me lately x
Just my experience but I had SSRIs for awful post natal depression and would honestly never take them again. I had one lot give me night terrors, had about 3 types before I got things stable and then came off them after a while only to have to go back on due to a number of depression triggering factors. The withdrawals I had even when tapering down a tiny bit were horrendous, the worst thing I have ever done and that includes two weanings off opiate pain meds (thanks endometriosis).
Your depression is caused by this illness and pain not a chemical imbalance so the priority should be getting it treated and supported dealing with it on a day to day basis, crappy as it is. Maybe counselling and pain management should be explored? Part of what makes many of us feel so bad is the crap treatment we get when we are in crisis. It is known that women are treated less well by medical staff and given less pain meds than men and deemed "hysterical" rather than suffering which is something that needs to change to improve the treatment of all women.
Have you been seen by a BSGE endometriosis centre? If you haven't then push your GP for a referral to someone who knows what they are doing with this condition.
Hi Jade.....you still on here. Just want to ask how you are getting on. I too am on Antidepressants 90mg a day as i am not coping too well for the last number of years. Another surgery next month...number 4 and now at 46 i am thinking of getting it all out. I have known since 2007 that children were probably not an option but didnt want to give up hope and now that i guess it is all naturally too late it seems slightly easier to deal with but where to go what to do..same as you i dont want everything to be put down to Endo but docs keep doing it...anyways let me know if ya still out there
I've just nipped on today to have a good old cry and a moan, so I've just seen this now.I am so sorry you are and have been struggling for some years now. No one deserves that but well done for being strong. I really hope you're next surgery is your last and that it brings you some relief.
My heart really goes out to you with regards to the subject of children. That must have been so difficult to try to come to terms with over the last several years. I guess like most things some days will be easier than others (mothers day this year was particularly hard for me). Again though give yourself some credit for being so strong getting through your worst days.
I am still out here, pushing on! I have not been on any antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication for some time because we were going to through the IVF process (on hold at the moment) and I had to stop it all before hand but there was definitely a time where I needed it. I do have regular counselling though and also must have every herbal / OTC remedy, pillow spray, bath salt, wax melt known to man to try and help with my moods and anxiety still though 😂.
Thank you for still reaching out and I know I've basically said it twice already well done and keep going ❤️ x
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