Lap and bmi over 35

[Kenny75]

Hi everyone.

Anyone had lap surgery with a raised bmi over 35 , but below 40?

I’ve been booked in since Feb for my procedure which is booked for a week Friday.

Had my pre-op yesterday and all was going well. Had signed the consent forms with the surgeon (first time I’d met her) when she suddenly asked what my bmi was. The nurse said she hadn’t had chance to do those measurements before the surgeon had arrived.

I said it was a little below 35 but I was aware I’d put weight on in the last 6 weeks due to being in pain so my exercise has dropped off and due to horrendous stress at work. Yes my own fault, I know, but life has been pretty crap recently.

Anyway she suggested I delay for 6 months to lose weight

I’ve already waited so long to get this far and just want some answers. Plus i Want to be able to have intimate relations with my poor husband again soon he’s been so understanding and patient but I know he’s finding the lack of intercourse challenging.

So, am I silly to go ahead. She said she will do it as I fall between bmi 35-38 but really suggests I should wait. I worry the pressure of having to lose weight will overwhelm me. It’s my nature.

Any experiences from any of you who have had his surgery with a higher bmi would be great. Thank you.

[weekari]

Hey, I don't have any personal experience but I just want to reassure you about the surgery and support you making a decision based on what you think is best for you.

The surgeon may prefer your bmi to be lower but she's obviously willing to still go ahead, which she wouldn't do if she thought it risky. Just remember that all weight loss surgeries (gastric bypasses etc) are done by lap and to qualify for that, you need to have a bmi ABOVE 35.

This is your health here and that's the most important thing. It's not your fault you can't have sex and you're not making your husband suffer - he's not a victim here. You're both not having sex, so if it's poor him, it's poor you too but poor you more as I'm sure you're dealing with more than just a lack of sex life?! I've not been able to have sex with my husband for 4 years and of course it bothers us both but it's out of my hands. I just want my life back and sex will be part of that one day.

You really need to just think of what's best for you.

Hopefully someone else can share experiences of their lap and help you feel OK about whatever decision you make.

Good luck. X

[rosesinbloom]

Personally, I would say wait. The surgeon may get better results on the lap if you manage to get your weight down a bit too.

If it's safer too, I think that has to be considered too, it's important. I know you want answers, but you also want to be around. If the surgeon recommends this, this is what I'd do personally. I understand you have intimate problems, but there are other things that can satisfy your husband and I'm sure he's rather you be safe in your op then rush it through.

I know you say you'll feel pressure to lose the weight, but there really isn't any if you see it as doing so for your health primarily. Diet and weight make a huge difference with this disorder anyway, so just see it as trying to make yourself better instead of hitting a target for six months time.

If she suggested it though, I would listen to the expert.