Struggling

[Shanno22385]

It’s just gone midnight and I’m laid on my sofa listening to slushy music because I can’t handle lying next to my boyfriend in bed right now. I’m waiting for an op to remove my coil as it’s ‘lost’ as well as removing cysts on my ovaries and removal of endometriosis which the coil was supposed to help with. It has helped and I’m not in pain right now but have so many other problems that have occurred along the way. I’m now in a contraception or not dilemma following the op and I’m sick of hearing how wonderful it is to have children or what a great mum ill make even though I’m not sure I even want children. My mum loves my dog so much she says she couldn’t love a child any more which I know is just something people might say but it isn’t helping. Am I abnormal for not being desperate for a child? Boyf is happy with ‘whatever decision I make’ but all I really want is for him to ask me to marry me after nearly 4 years together. He does have an ex wife and 2 children (boys) in tow though so I guess not such a big decision for him.....

I’m sick of being grumpy or drinking too much or wanting cigarettes when I’m supposed to have stopped and wanting to exercise/lose weight but just struggling to get there and just having lost my sparkle. Anyone else been here and made it out the other side I’d love to hear from you, I don’t want to carry on feeling like this x

[Taraire]

I am sorry you’re going through this. I feel alone too and find myself drinking too much to numb pain. Working on it! I have been offered a hysterectomy but don’t know how I feel about it. I am in a different situation as I am single and also gay, although that dose not ease social family and social pressure. Stereotypes are powerful and hard to stand against, something I do every day. But you are not alone, and I understand your dilemma

[Taraire in reply to Taraire]

In addition, be kind to yourself on this journey. It’s not easy, and you don’t need to be ‘perfect’ all the time. It’s a lot to deal with and we are stronger then we think.

[Shanno22385 in reply to Taraire]

It sounds like you need to be kind to yourself too. Social stigma is a real sh*t but we are strong and can get through more than we think. Tonight just became a new low and feeling despair!!!!!! But tomorrow is a new day so I will try and stay positive, chin up xx