Self doubt

[Holleymuzz]

Does anyone self doubt yourself?

I mean when your having a good day, or few days, do you think to yourself ‘is it that bad? As bad as I make out it is?’

Or is it just me x

[Sarahxnxhannah16]

I do this everyday, iv had everything taken away and still get lots of pains that I had b4 the hysterectomy and think it's not possible to still be getting these pains, well it is i know it's possible but surely not 3 weeks p.o. n there's times when I get the pains I wonder if they are really that bad or am I just being a wimp then there's time when I'm curled up in a bad trying to breath thru the pains n it's very real x

[Louby84]

All of the time. I’m due on my period any time and had hardly any pain but last month was terrible. Now I feel like a fraud going for a 2nd laparoscopy for excision surgery next week, as last time is was only lasered.

I’m scared they are going to open me up and there won’t be any endo anymore and I’ve wasted everyone’s time and my partners money (paying for me to go private)

It really messes with your head!!

[Holleymuzz in reply to Louby84]

I’m in the same position. I had just lasered last time in 2016. Was found on my bowel bladder n pod. It’s taken me nearly two years to be seen again. They agreed to do another lap. But when I have pain free days I feel like a fraud. Again petrified there will be nothing wrong with me when I have next op x

[Louby84 in reply to Holleymuzz]

Pains are back today in my bladder area and, back and left hand side. Just shows how it can change from one day to the next! Xx

[RR21]

100% I go back and forth probably daily. Ill be out having a good time and think theres nothing wrong with me. And then when Im in alot of pain I fantasize about finding a doctor to remove all my organs. I think normal people don't spend their time convincing themselves they arent in pain. We deserve to feel normal!

[District24]

Yep! I'm exactly the same! I'm still waiting on CT scan and my tummy is still very swollen I look pregnant!

I think to myself am i just fat round the middle even though I'm only a size 8 and doctors have confirmed I'm not overweight but I can't help thinking is it just me!? My 'bump' has a mind of its own! Some mornings I wake up and it's doubled in size over night then I think well their must be something wrong!

It does mess with your thoughts and feelings so don't worry your not alone!! X

[Ouchiegrouchie]

Some days, sure!

Endo and other lady diseases/disorders can be a total mind fk! Besides the physical pain, limitations it causes, sometimes obsessive or over worrying pre-planning for managing it for work to an outing is very, very taxing mentally. Depression often follows Endo and like diseases for the reasons I mention. It is only logical, really.

On top of it, it is pretty much an invisible disease, so if you have to re-explain to someone why you feel so awful but look well you too may begin to wonder if it's not so bad on your good days. Also too, I think it's in our nature to hope that maybe it is resolving, maybe I am finally getting better....and this you get smacked down for another few days are quickly reminded how bad the bad days are.

Live for the good and try to manage the bad ones. XO,OG

[Nixy87]

I have the same feelings hun, my symptoms have never been as bad as some people’s, but some days I am very bloated, since I had my lap 2 months ago tho I have lost a lot of weight round the middle, I am also size 8 but makes me realise looking back how swollen I was.

Please do not doubt yourself, you wouldn’t go for a major op if it wasn’t real. Keep a diary of your symptoms and look back at all the reasons your doing tho. Some days are better than others xxx

[Netti451]

100% me too x

[foursimplewords]

yep I'm waiting for my lap date and now I'm doubting myself