Self confidence

I was wondering if I could ask if any one on here has felt like they've lost a huge amount of confidence through their condition? I'm finding im just so self conscious and have no certainty in how I look or how I feel about myself. I just seem to be covered in scars with a swollen tummy post- surgery.

Can anyone relate in this dept? I appreciate t the help xxxx

10 Replies

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  • My tummy is also large, just had to buy some new trousers, can't even think about wearing jeans atm,

    X

  • I feel the same I'm always sad and don't feel like going out or meeting people cause I can't wear my nice clothes I must wear loose clothes only.

    I have a question do you guys wake up feeling slightly better and then as the day progreces U feel tired, bloated, gassy and the the pain starts?

    Every night I take a voltarin and then go to bed with my 2 hot water bottles.

    Life is hard with endo :(

  • It can be rly hard I agree, I find it varies depending on where th day takes me but I can't do half of the things I used to. And prospects like going out to parties or shopping just fill me with dread xx

  • Hi Davina-C, yes I totally relate to what you are saying. I had a laparascopy and hysteroscopy on 9th March, mt stomach / hips are still swollen and still recovering. I have days where I feel like I am on the mend and then get really bad days with new pain. The last few days started to get really bad pain in my hips (never have before). I still seem to weigh the same but so swollen and none if my clothes look the same and I seem to look an odd shape. The latest worry is one of my wounds started to scan over and was leaking a clear / tan fluid (doesn't smell or hurt) so don't think it is infected, the scab fell off this morning and seems to try to be healing but still weeping. I have just put a dressing on it. I was a few mins ago looking in the mirror and I just feel like I am deformed and wondering what in earth has happened to my body and me, i feel really sad and just wonder how or if I will manage to date another guy, as I now think I look horrendous and very unattractive. I too wonder if these scars will ever fade and if my swollen stomach will ever go down... When was your lap? L. X

  • My lap was 2 weeks ago. I'm in a relationship atm but tbh I think he's getting fed up with me.

    I can't wear half the clothes I want to, I just feel so fed up with myself. I resort to baggier clothes and cover myself up. I had a bridesmaid hair trial for my cousins wedding and I just got home and sobbed my heart out cos I just feel horrendous.

    Xxx

  • Hi Davina - I'm so sorry to hear you feel that way about yourself. I totally relate because I felt awful after my surgery - there's the physical side (I had complications so was totally terrified at one point) but there's also all the emotional stuff to deal with. I don't know if this will help but I found that with time I started to feel better about myself - partly because the physical marks and discomfort faded and partly because as I start to deal with how I felt about having this syndrome I got more comfortable with it (not at all happy about it but less resistant/frustrated). At times where it is difficult I do work round it with clothes, I do occasionally not go along to things if I know I'm not in the right place to do so and I do sometimes still lack confidence - though to be honest I always did on the physical front, I've never been a classically pretty woman.

    But I also now recognise I have lots of other great qualities - both in terms of my physical appearance and in terms of who I am as a person (and in fact the latter is much more important). On the former though I do make sure I get my hair done regularly, look after my skin, try to eat well (hmm, that doesn't always go so well, another Easter egg anyone? :-)), and treat myself to the occasional manicure and pedicure. Getting outside in the air and concentrating on stuff outside myself also helps a lot when I hate my swollen belly!

    I do find that how I talk to myself is so important because that affects how I see the world - it's not always easy and I am very good at being cynical - but I do find that when I talk positively to myself and look for the best (be that physical or otherwise) I see myself, my relationships and the world in a much more productive way. That affects the vibes I give off to other people and how they treat me, including my partner. I recently did a course and one of the exercises was to ask people close to me what they valued about me - I found the positive feedback amazingly helpful and when I am feeling down I look at that list (which I also added my own comments to). It can be tough in a culture where appearances are placed at such a premium but I try to remind myself that we all tend to be our toughest critics - I often think 'yuck' and then someone tells me I look lovely/they like my outfit/whatever and nowadays I work really hard to accept that compliment at face value and boost myself. Also that how I look is actually much less important than that list of who I am and how I behave.

    Re scars I had a little surf online some time back and came across this page - goodreads.com/quotes/tag/sc... I found some of them powerful.

    Not sure if any of this is any help. I was in a pretty dark place after my op but lots of luck and I hope that you feel much better soon. xx

  • You are totally right there's nothing like bleeding for England ,looking like you are constantly pregnant and covered in stomach scars to make you feel especially feminine !!!if it's any help I have gone past this now and just accept this is who I am

    I know it's easier said than done this is a tough battle just try and stay strong you are still you after all even with the not so feminine things happening take care xxxx

  • Thank you so much for the advice, I really appreciate it. I think youre right I need to look in to this xx

  • I can 100% relate to this! I've had 5 laps in the past 2 years and I hate the thought of anyone looking at my stomach... There's scars everywhere! Also with the continuous bleeding and the hormone injection I am on I have put on a stone and a half since jan!

    You're not the only one xx

  • Im sorry to hear you've had trouble. I hope things work out for you soon. I send my love and hugs xxx

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