self employed and struggling with fatigue from endo

[Sarah_Meriel]

Hi ladies

I'm having a day where my brain just feels like smush, I've left half my shopping in the trolley, and although I'm not in bad pain, my limbs feel like they are so weak and feeble! my hips are doing that thing where you think they're going to start giving you jip if you push it. I'm emotionally erratic and feel as though I could cry at any moment.

But I find it really hard to give myself the day off - being a self-employed musician. I don't have an office and I always have an ever growing to do list. It's so hard to accept that today is just not going to be what I thought it was - without giving myself a hard time anyway! I feel so isolated with this aspect of endo too, as there's no real support for it, or medication. I know that sometimes you just have to rest, and that's that. But I feel like if it was recognised by a medical professional that maybe I could feel more justified in needing time out due to tiredness - any advice? Would I feel better if my specialist said - yes, you seem to be suffering from chronic fatigue, or is it something I just need to accept internally. Even writing this makes me feel like I'm not worthy of giving myself that diagnosis, that I'm just whining about nothing. Argh!

[Jaas1]

I feel the exact same i just posted something similar on my page! I work from home yet i still feel tired all the time and i beat myself up about it because im confused whether its my endo even though mine doesn't even compare to what other women on here go through or whether im being lazy and used to working from home but i just cant find any energy or motivation! Im in no possition to give advice because im a mess myself lol - sorry! But here if you want a rant just like me haha x

[Sarah_Meriel in reply to Jaas1]

ha. ranting always helps! Try not to compare yourself to others though - you only know what you experience! We all have to find our own ways of listening to what our bodies need. I hear you on the motivation front - determining when to push yourself and when to rest is SO hard sometimes. If I find I'm struggling with that, I try to meet myself half way, and do some kind of small task, then reward myself with a soothing bath and the rest of the day off. Acceptance and pacing is the key I think. But then, some days, like today, I just say sod it, and sit in garden watching period dramas on my laptop WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY. It has helped hearing from you ladies.

[Jaas1 in reply to Sarah_Meriel]

I have deffo given myself the day off today lets just say that much! Enjoy your dramas lol x

[weekari]

Ugh god I relate to what you say so much. I was trapped with that feeling you describe for such a long time. I'd

been off work so much and reduced to part time hours but still couldn't cope. I was like a walking zombie. Constantly feeling I had no right to feel this way. Everyone else seemed to cope working more hours and with kids, a social life etc and I couldn't even work 3 days a week. I didn't have diagnoses at that point (I've only just been diagnosed with severe endo). You don't need a Dr to tell you that you're chronically fatigued! What you need is something that will help.

I did a rest program towards the end of last year and it changed me SO much. I still have fatigue but I cope with it better and its not as debilitating as it was. It's called Daring to Rest by Karen Brody. It was honestly quite life changing for me. It helped me change my perception of my tiredness and do what I needed to do in order to heal.

I can't recommend it enough.

[Sarah_Meriel in reply to weekari]

Thank you so much! I'll definitely look into that.

[weekari in reply to Sarah_Meriel]

BTW it's just a book that you buy. You do it all at home and she tells you how to do it while fitting it around life. X