Had ebough

[LexiiH17]

Hello... I’ve had enough. I feel so lost with it all.

I’m 5 weeks post op this week. Endo removal off my womb and have some left behind on my ovaries.

Post op consultation on Wednesday not sure how I feel about going.

I feel so low, depressed and just 💩 basically. I’m back at work and luckily I love my job but it’s getting harder and harder to go now. I literally just want to stay in bed and hide from the world. The pain returned about a week ago too. Just aching and stabbing but the aching getting worse, all in my legs and arms. And stabbing on my right side abdomen again. Having to take codeine just to take and edge off. My period still hasn’t retuned and my consultant said I would have had one by the time I see her again! 3 days for it to arrive then! Worried this means something else is wrong for TTC.

I’m managing on about 3 hours sleep! Insomnia. I just can’t switch off until the early hours of the morning, then it’s time to get up!

I haven’t felt this low in years. I tearful, stroppy and snappy! I’ve even thought about getting a hotel for a few days just to stay out of the way!

Just needed to get this out I think.. as I lay here again!

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

I feel exactly like you hun. (Iv not just had a op) but I can relate to it all except the period not being there yet.

It's just 💩isn't it insomnia gets me like a mo fo recently it's too much. Crying over every little thing. Got my endo specialist appointment on Friday shitting it tbh.

Hun you really did start working too early I know you know that but don't expect too much of yourself. ∧ if you can do the hotel thing then do it. Iv come up to my mums and told her I don't need shit just a change of scenary and some me time. She's ok with that. Hun I know it's hard you know you can chat to me. Just don't expect to much of yourself. It's totally normal to be feeling rubbish after your op and the fact your fatigued and low. You just need me time. Sign yourself of for a bit and look after number 1💗🤗😘

[LexiiH17 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

I just wish I knew what was happening.. and I know I’m probably expecting miracles. But after my op she said I see no reason why you can’t get pregnant, and I should have had a period... so there’s obviously something else wrong. And I knew that any way since we’ve been trying for a year now and nothing.

I wish I could just go stay in a hotel! Wouldn’t that be amazing! I’m quite sure we should get an allowance like 5 nights a year someone comes and looks after the kids, the house and you get free nights away! I’m quite sure everyone would feel so much better!

I feel so alone too. My partner has been great, but he doesn’t get it really, and although he wants a baby I know it’s not getting to him like it is me. And then finally being diagnosed is great, but there no hiding from it either now. This is me, forever.

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to LexiiH17]

Did you get the dye done. Sorry can't remember xx

[LexiiH17 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Yep I did have that. All fine apparently. What I have in my head though is before the op she said I’m definitely not ovulating as my cycles are all over and mostly 90+ days in between a period.

Then the dye test showed no issues/blockages etc. But she thinks I’m good to go. But surely there can be other things stopping me ovulate.

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to LexiiH17]

Oh yes your hormone levels and stuff have you not had them tested? That v really doesn't sound right. I think they prescribe chlomid for that.. Why don't you join fertility network their really good over there they'll help you understand a bit of what's going on 💗🤗😘

[LexiiH17 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Yeh I’ve been reading a few posts but haven’t posted as don’t really know what’s happening with it!

She did say clomid would be the next stage if my cycles don’t return after the op. But not really sure when my period should arrive after the op!

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to LexiiH17]

If your cycles are normally long give it time hun but be prepared first period after op is dreadful xx

[LexiiH17 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Yeh I keep reading that! Not looking forward to it!

[LexiiH17 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

It’s just what she said that sticks in my head. Almost makes it worse! As though I’ve failed again.

No period, can’t be pregnant.

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to LexiiH17]

I know hun. Have you had sex. I know I couldn't but some could xx

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to LexiiH17]

Plus I know what you mean regards other half. My hubby really don't talk to me about my 💩when I'm emotional and all over the place he's started avoiding me. That really helps (not)

We're women vso much more in touch with our emotions and their just not andv don't know what to do at times. It's hard for us be cause when we break down the whole world comes crashing down. Xx

[LexiiH17 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

Yeh definitely. He keeps ignoring me and I keep saying little things hoping he will discuss it but he just ignores! Very infuriating!

But yes definitely feel like things will be crashing down soon

[AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to LexiiH17]

They already have for me iv told him he needs to start listening vto my feelings even if he doesn't understand them I'm sick of not been heard. It takes a lot for me to talk about 💩that bothers me especially emotionally so when I do speak listen don't shut me down. I know exactly how your feeling hun just tell him straight if he doesn't fix up then tell him you need your space. If that's what will help 💗😘🤗

[LexiiH17 in reply to AllWeNeedIsluv]

I know. He is great normally for anything else, other than this. We’ll get there!

[AllWeNeedIsluv]

Same here. But other shit I could do myself. It's just nice to get back what we give sometimes especially if we don't ask for much 💗🤗😘