Unpleasant consequences

Hi!

I made up my mind to share my thoughts and experience here. Although it is not easy.

I was young and I was putting off the moment of get pregnant. I made my career. But, you know, there was an event, an attractive man. Not only handsome but also smart. He promised to be with me forever... When I recognised I was pregnant it wasn't in my plans. I was making my career... It would be ridiculous if it hasn't been so sad.

I had an abortion. It was my first one. I knew about the risk of doing that. However I supposed everything would be OK. Maybe, indeed, everything would have been ok If it hadn't one terrible occasion. Once due to urgent work I was going back home too late. Suddenly some group of drunk guys attacked me... I was raped. Again one more aborting. This time I was forced to do that.

In a year I got married. But I wasn't able to birth my baby. My physician told me that due to excessive thinning of the walls of the uterus as a result of two abortions, with a new pregnancy, a uterine rupture can occur. I didn't believe to that. We very badly wanted a child! I got pregnant but it was dangerous. Doctors barely rescued me.

The world became white black for me. I lost any interest to my work. I lost interest to the life. My husband tries his best. But both of us recognise, without our own child we can't live the life to the fullest. Maybe it is the punishment for my carelessness in the past.

[Emilys79]

Hi Ingredis!

When I have read your post I feel like as if I am reading some book or watching some movie. Actually your life is like a plot for a book. But seriously. Taking into consideration you are quite vulnerable, I appreciate your frankness.

Your circumstances are really hard but not unique. The life is so unpredictable! When I was 12 years old I was raped by a man who was twice as old as me. I would have needed to cure not only my body but also my soul for a long time. When I got married it turned out that my husband's uncle has been the same man who humiliated me so mercilessly. But he was paralyzed a couple of years ago. Verily, we should leave the punishment to God!

After treatment it passed years. I tried to get pregnant. I was pregnant. But there were miscarriages. One after one. We looked for other ways. And we found one. However in another country. Nonetheless, now we are awarded by our loved child!

[Georgia03]

I am so sorry for what you have been thought, but you must understand none of it is your fault and you shouldn't feel 'punished' at all! I can't give any advice medically but maybe try counseling or therapy to discuss your feelings and options? sending you a big hug! xx