I wrote in here not long ago about problems with my Gynaecologist, however since then I've been having problems with my partner. We've been together for 3 years and during that time my situation has worsened.

I am having trouble being intimate with him and it's difficult as we are both young. Trouble is, I try to avoid being intimate because I am in pain for hours and hours after, and I bleed a lot. This is also the reason he try's to avoid it too, and often spends too much time worrying he will hurt me.

Recently it's starting to upset him more, because our intimacy has decreased by a lot, and it's really upsetting him and myself. Can someone please give me advice.

9 Replies

I am struggling with this too at the moment. My partner and I try and talk it through but it hurts the fact I can't even seem to satisfy him.

We try to be as open as we can and try other ways of being intimate that won't cause me so much pain etc

You aren't alone on this and I'm sorry I cannot give you any more specific advice.


It's great to know that I am not alone, thanks for your support and advice. We are trying to talk it out, and I feel sorry for him but I know there's not much I can do. Thank you though xx

Iv suffered with this also but I find if I have sex in the time between period ending and ovulation sex isn't that bad infact it's enjoyable afterwards I seem to get pain quite bad and particularly afterwards

In the past when it's been really bad. We've found other ways to be intimate like kissing and using my hands on him and no penetration for me and it did help him to feel satisfied and me a bit better knowing I could satisfy him anther way. Just takes time and understanding exploring other methods your both comfortable with.

Hope yous manage to work through it. 😘

Thanks for the advice, I'll give some of your tips a try xx

If it is intimacy that you both seek, but the pain of sexual intercourse is too much, try pleasing each other in other ways. Digital (hands) stimulation, oral stimulation. Get creative! Perhaps take penetration off the table for a little while and get back to the basics. Knowing you won't go through the pain of penetration may help you to relax and be able to enjoy intimacy again. Good luck.

Thanks for the help, I think I'll give it a try and hopefully it will work itself out xx

Hi I know its upsetting for both yourself and your partner and frustrating I've been with my husband 8 years been married 6 when intercourse became unbearable I felt usless like a let down and like I couldn't give my husband what I should be able to I did go through a mental screwed up stage I told him I didn't love him and I wanted to leave him so he could go and find another woman who could give him everything. He knew it was all down to the trouble with intercourse and that I did love him. But like the other women there's other ways of pleasuring i.e. hands on its still satisfying and your partner will understand xx hope you sort it out xx

Thanks for sharing your experience, I really appreciate it. That is exactly how I feel, I feel awful saying no but I can't mentally and physically put myself through it. And he gets upset because he feels like I don't want him/unattractive/like he is begging. I'll give other things a go with him, and I think we will need to talk about it more. At the minute we are avoiding the conversation! Thanks for the advice xx

It's not a easy convo I tried to avoid it to the extreme as I've just told you but its so much better now it will be better for both of you when its out of the way. Xx

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