Feeling vulnerable....

[Starry]

I've been home 4 whole days now and am doing well but feeling strange in myself and emotional today for no good reason.

Tomorrow hubby goes back to work and I will be alone all day. I still can't put my socks on or reach bottom cupboards and I haven't filled the kettle yet.

My boss is off on hols next Monday and wants to pop by to see me which is incredibly sweet but made me feel self conscious about how shit I look, grey, gaunt and the daggy clothes I am wearing so as to not rub up my surgical wounds.

It's stupid but I'm feeling really strange, alone, isolated, unsettled and emotional. Everything is so surreal, it's hard to believe that it is over.

I Don't know what's going on with me at all. Sorry for writing such a weird post, perhaps someone will understand somehow why I feel so weird. Is this a normal thing...?

[Hidden]

Although I haven't had a procedure yet (mine is August 3rd) I've read and heard from others (including my aunt and mother) that anesthesia and other medications given while in the hospital can make you very emotional after a procedure. There's nothing wrong with you! Recovering is an emotional and physical strain. It will pass soon x

[Hidden]

Sounds absolutely normal! Even the pain meds you're on will be affecting your mental clarity. Reach out to friends and family if you feel like you need help. I had my surgery on Fri, June 28, so I understand where you're at. Hubby was overseas for work on Monday, so I was back to the normal grind of mum life just two days post surgery. It sucks. But gentle moving will help you recover quicker. Deep breaths to expand your lungs. Once you come off the post op meds your mind should clear. Let your boss see you how you are; It may give them more understanding of what you're going through. Big, warm hugs.

[Hidden]

Everything you are feeling is totally normal. This is more than just the after effects of the anaesthetic and painkillers. You've had major surgery and post operative complications and have had an extremely traumatic experience. It's more than enough to floor anyone and TBH it would be more worrying if you didn't feel weird and in shock. It is very, very early days in your recovery, you've had months of stress and build up to reach this point, and a bit of a crash afterwards is inevitable. It does get better but it takes time. Please be kind and patient with yourself. It's OK to feel rubbish and not want to see anyone. All that matters at the moment is what you want and how you feel, so if you don't feel like seeing your boss you don't have to. xxx.

[Starry]

Thanks guys , that's helped me put it in context a bit. X X X

[poppy75]

Hi Starry. All that you're feeling is very normal after surgery. I've just read your other posts and my god you've had such a lot happen in a short time! Of course you'll feel vulnerable and emotional.

Do you have any friends, family or neighbours who could pop in for an hour during the days? If not, how about asking friends and your husband to phone on their lunch breaks? Get them all booked in for 2 weeks. Just having a chat will help a bit until your husband is home. If all else fails, post on here for a chat. If you haven't already do join your local Endo UK Facebook group. If you go on Endo UKs site you'll see a link to online support. Mine has been brilliant - so many friendly and supportive people. I'm just thinking on a Facebook group people are likely to be notified of a post immediately whereas on the forum I often don't see posts until the evening. They're closed groups on Facebook so no one else can see anything discussed.

Take care. Xx

[Starry]

Thanks poppy75 living rurally probably isn't helping. I don't think there is a support group in deepest darkest Norfolk. I am sure it is just an adjustment phase

[Stellauk]

Do you managed to have a small walk around the garden every couple of hours? I found being outside helps a lot. Don't worry about how you look. I was walking in the village with old track suites and catheter bag LOL.

I did some colouring book which is relaxing and you can do a bit at time. Also it is nice to achieve something.

What about getting some home facial? I spent hours go though all the masks etc.

Hope you are feeling brighter.