When you want to kill your husband and it might just be your hormones....

[Starry]

Rant alert.....

Marital harmony us usually ok except at the moment. At every consult or nurse appointment he just interrupts and takes over. I got upset the time before last when he started pushing me into the op rather than letting me decide. This time the nurse during my pre op ECG , when I said my main symptom is fatigue, said perhapsyou have CFS which topic is have liked to have heard her view on, and my husband just took over and said she doesn't have that I knrw my neighbour who had it xx years ago and it's nothing like. I felt so dismissed. I've had to reduce my working week a whole day and am perpetually exhausted . What right does he have to make such a judgement. I know a colleague at work and my symptoms are at least as bad!

I tried to raise the inappropriateness of the remark to him but he just flew off the handle and caused a massive row like he always does, escalating things and turning them back straight at me. So we had a big row.

Today I spent literally all, every ounce of my energy all day with lots of rest breaks or I'd not have survived on cleaning the lounge and hall as it was utterly disgusting ( cleaner off sick) and exhausted myself but he hardly remarked on it when he got home. Then I asked him about which storage he wanted ( of options in an email' Id sent) to solve a problem we have in one of our rooms causing a mess. He was impatient and dismissive again although it had taken me over an hour trawling through web links wasting my time hunting for affordable options for him to simply pick from to make it easy for him. He just criticised them all.

I raised how much effort I had made and that his dissinissive attitude to all the options I'd spent quite some time researchimg was upsetting and am now getting the sulky treatment like it is all me.

Then I start to worry if he is right.

Why doesn't he get that there's is a line where it is my illness and I am the best judge of what I am suffering and what is best to do about it.

he's usually pretty emotionally intelligent but seems blind to this issue despite my best efforts to raise it calmly with humans a boundary issue. He just doesn't get it.

It's great he cares and is protective, wants to look after me but.....

Help!!!!!

[Heloo85]

Fatigue and endo run hand in hand. Especially severe endo. If you read this site most of us are plagued with it! Its probably our worst symptom. Is it endo or do we all have fibromyalgia, or something else? Or do all those with fibromyalgia have endo?

The fatigue is real for sure! But ive no idea. Ive mentioned it to Dr and consultant and both have shrugged it off! Ive had my surgery and im still plagued with it. It got so bad at one point i was slurring my words like a drunkard. Honestly my partners daughter ask me if i was drunk? It effects my memory.

What is it? Cant help you there! No idea

[Hidden]

I think you know yourself that you are not 100% right now, but that's understandable, and you deserve (and need) treating with kid gloves. He's being an arse, especially trying to take control during your medical appointments. That's not on and you are right to be angry with him for it. It's not caring and protective to try and talk for you. His job is to sit there and be quiet and hold your hand. TBH my husband didn't go with me to my appointments as he was either working or he was on kid duty. The only one he went to was when I went to the hospital to sign the consent forms for the hysterectomy. Is that an option for you, to go to the appointments on your own if he is more hindrance than help?

[Starry in reply to Hidden]

Thanks both for reading that through!

It's so much that I want a CFS diagnosis or label as the dismissal of the symptoms I guess, and the effort I've been making.

He still does not accept the boundary he's crossing so I guess he may have to wait outside in future as he says he'll continue to behave the same and I am fed up with it. He knows he's like it too. Today I'm getting lots to I can't say anything digs ( subtext it's all my fault and I'm just picking fights) It's a shame but there's only the op left now I guess anyway.

[Lulububs]

I always go in to any appointments by myself so noone takes over and i can understand and listen sometimes men think there helping but there not... go on ur own from

Now if only for ur marriages sake