Work just dont understand

[Emmajayne92]

Hi all,

I'm really feeling down this week and really struggling with my job that much I've decided to hand my notice in.

Since piling 2 stone on struggling to get my stage 4 endometriosis under control for 2 years my work have been so unsupportive. My manager keeps telling me to lose weight it's probably my weight stopping me from conceiving, try harder with my diet ( I try quite hard not that that's any of her business)

Also a newbie at my job has announced she's pregnant and it was an accident and I'm over the moon for her don't get me wrong and she's a lovely girl and she's very supportive towards me having endometriosis but my manager just keeps pushing conversations out of her whenever I'm around like she wants me to hear about pregnancy 24/7 and I find it so unfair since they know I have been trying since last year and I only have a 25-30% chance of conceiving.

I did ask politely if they could refrain from doing this directly in front of me all the time and my manager and another employee basically turned around and said grow up, you will get your turn.

I just feel so uncomfortable and unsupported at my work place that I've decided the only thing to do is to leave.

[JulesUK]

I'm sorry to hear your story. I put two and half stone ion when I was at my worst. I know you probably don't feel very strong right now to tackle this but why should you have to leave. Could you have a word with the girl who is pregnant to try to make her understand and she could talk to the others? Or is there anyone else who could intervene and help or someone from HR? People have no idea how hard it is holding down a job with Endo. x

[Emmajayne92 in reply to JulesUK]

I just feel it's the only option I have. I'm extremely upset at the end of every day and my partner is struggling seeing me so upset everyday. I have spoken to the lady who is pregnant she's my friend in work she is very supportive and she asked them to not do it and they came out with she's a grown woman and she will feel worse if she's left out. So I said something to them and they said I need to grow up. The trouble is my job is a small owned company only 6 of us work there two bosses who own it a manager and three dental nurses, the manager is best friends with one of the nurses and they can do no wrong. If I go to my bosses they seem to just go back to the manager it's terrible x

[Vicky2708]

As a HR person, you shouldn't be being made to feel as you are. I think it may be worth having a chat to the newbie in the first instance. If that doesn't help, I would perhaps get in touch with your HR department as it sounds like your manager is not being supportive of you and your circumstances.

Does your company offer any additional help i.e. staff counselling, occupational health etc?

If you want to message, feel free to do so. I'm new to the site and just at the start of my Endo journey.

[Emmajayne92 in reply to Vicky2708]

I have spoken to the her who is pregnant she's my friend in work she is very supportive and she asked them to not do it and they came out with she's a grown woman and she will feel worse if she's left out after they said that she's been ringing me apologising feeling it's her fault when it's not she always tries to help and be there for me. The trouble is my job is a small owned company only 6 of us work there two bosses who own it a manager and three dental nurses, the manager is best friends with one of the nurses and they can do no wrong. If I go to my bosses they seem to just go back to the manager it's a vicious circle! No they don't offer anything like that x

[Vicky2708 in reply to Emmajayne92]

It may be worth having a read of this from the Endo website (if you haven't done so already) - endometriosis-uk.org/sites/...

You could always contact ACAS as well to discuss your situation and get advice. They can provide advice to both employers and employees. I have attached a link to a page regarding equality: acas.org.uk/index.aspx?arti....

I think the main thing is making sure you do the right thing for you and the right time, whether that be staying or leaving. I hope you find this useful and if you want to chat, feel free to reply x

[Emmajayne92 in reply to Vicky2708]

Just had a read of them that's great thankyou. Yeah I think the best thing for me to do is leave I'm just unhappy there x

[Vicky2708 in reply to Emmajayne92]

Good luck with what you decide to go on and do and take care x

[Emmajayne92 in reply to Vicky2708]

Thankyou x

[Nicolahunny]

I had that in my job to that I ended up handing in my notice with mine to felt like no one not even cook understood what it was like to be in pain 24/7 I found it just as hard when everyone around me was pregnant and I was struggling to get pregnant the only person that understood what I was going through was my best friend in the kitchen and my mum and husband I just hope that ur time will come as it took me four years to get pregnant 2nd time round wish u best of luck xx

[Emmajayne92 in reply to Nicolahunny]

I just feel it's the only option I have. If I stay there I am going to end up having a breakdown or something I've never worked with people so inconsiderate. They keep saying you can't avoid pregnant women I said that's not what I'm doing! There's a difference between avoiding them and being around on everyday day in my job which is a very small business. I hope it happens soon 🤞🏻 yeah my mum partner sister and two best friends are the only ones who support me and understand xx

[Nicolahunny in reply to Emmajayne92]

just nice to have that support from family and some friends are u awaiting any appointments from the hospital or anything xx

[Emmajayne92 in reply to Nicolahunny]

Yeah I'm glad I have their support. I'm under a specialist for the rest of my life now, I was discharged telling me I have nothing wrong with me when i actually had endometriosis on my left ovary but someone I went to see looked at the right side on my scan results instead of the left which she was supposed to look at and discharged me and in that time my endometriosis got to stage 4 I was in agony and since then had two laps tons of scans and lots of appointments and follow ups. Had my last lap in April xx

[Nicolahunny in reply to Emmajayne92]

Aww sounds awful for u Iv had two laps as well never ever got told what stage my endometriosis was but said when done my lap second time told me lots of aheadions on pouch of Douglas and endometriosis in my womb xx

[Emmajayne92 in reply to Nicolahunny]

I was told after my 1st lap they said it was just a mass of endometriosis inside, it has crushed my left ovary I have adhesions on my right one aswell and on my womb and it had attached to my bowel aswell xx

[Ollie2512]

Im so sorry. I understand so much esp the pregnancy issue. Your manager sounds horrendous.

Could you try HR instead of quitting?

[Emmajayne92 in reply to Ollie2512]

It's horrendous to work there! So many staff have left we always have a change of staff. I can only go to my bosses who go back to the manager it's like she runs the practice. I'll try this ACAS X

[aimee_h59]

I have endometriosis and a dental nurse, are you a qualified dental nurse? Where abouts in the UK are You?

[Emmajayne92 in reply to aimee_h59]

Oh are you, Yes I'm qualified. I'm in Lancashire x