I just need to vent.
I know there is alot worse to have wrong with me. I haven't been diagnosed with anything but I have suspected endo, gynae appt soon and all that.
I'm so sick of the pain. every f#cking day. a constant dull ache, accompanied by severe bloating with pain that won't pass, I just have to wait. feels like someone's pumped my belly with air. can't touch or breathe it in. then maybe it'll be worse on one side. I can't poop without agony trying to go. sex hurts. I have no idea if it's related but the feeling sick can sod off too. I'm sick of this.
it's ruining everything. im tired all the time. my stomach always hurts. im always bloated. sometimes I can deal with it really well, sometimes I just want to cry and I want it to stop and I want to feel normal.
my husband doesn't know how to deal with it which makes it worse. I just need comfort, someone to hug. when I'm down he just doesn't bother. he leaves me alone. says I'm being weird. that's the last thing i need. I'm a tongue bite away from saying just f#ck off then.
the funny thing is, even if they find endo, it doesn't matter. they can't fix it. it's just guna get worse as time goes on. it's already progressed, I used to just get painful ovulation and periods, now every sodding day is pain. I'm sick of this. it's ruining everything.
I wish someone would just understand for once. rather than be left alone to deal with it. ffs