fed up, depressed, angry with this constant bs pain

I just need to vent.

I know there is alot worse to have wrong with me. I haven't been diagnosed with anything but I have suspected endo, gynae appt soon and all that.

I'm so sick of the pain. every f#cking day. a constant dull ache, accompanied by severe bloating with pain that won't pass, I just have to wait. feels like someone's pumped my belly with air. can't touch or breathe it in. then maybe it'll be worse on one side. I can't poop without agony trying to go. sex hurts. I have no idea if it's related but the feeling sick can sod off too. I'm sick of this.

it's ruining everything. im tired all the time. my stomach always hurts. im always bloated. sometimes I can deal with it really well, sometimes I just want to cry and I want it to stop and I want to feel normal.

my husband doesn't know how to deal with it which makes it worse. I just need comfort, someone to hug. when I'm down he just doesn't bother. he leaves me alone. says I'm being weird. that's the last thing i need. I'm a tongue bite away from saying just f#ck off then.

the funny thing is, even if they find endo, it doesn't matter. they can't fix it. it's just guna get worse as time goes on. it's already progressed, I used to just get painful ovulation and periods, now every sodding day is pain. I'm sick of this. it's ruining everything.

I wish someone would just understand for once. rather than be left alone to deal with it. ffs

7 Replies

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  • literally. oh my goodness you have described everything i am going through! I have been in and out of gp's and hospitals the last few weeks all i would say is push to see the gynae. you know whats right you know what is going on with your body. Pain all day everyday sucks. Sorry you are going through this Nicola Rose here is a hug from someone who gets it

  • Hi, I'm sorry your feeling so down but I just want you to know you're not alone. I have suspected endo and I'm also waiting for my gynae appointment to come through. At the moment I'm constantly in pain, I'm on the mini pill so not having any periods just big bleeds whenever my body feels like it and cramps plus a horrible left sided pain which has gotten so much worse in the last few months. I've been prescribed co-codamol 30mg which doesn't even touch the pain, plus it's hard to take it at work as it makes my head very fuzzy so just having to push through then pain. I've just had to have 5 weeks of with depression.

    I've been going to my doctor for 13 years with heavy periods plus a number of other symptoms. It's thanks to a new GP that I'm finally being taken seriously and it's such a relief.

    If it does turn out to be endo you have to think at least you have your answer, at least you know what's causing this, having a name can provide such a huge relief, your husband will have something to research and may be more understanding. Yes there's no cure for endo but symptoms can be managed, endo can be lasered off to give up to years of relief depending on the severity of the endo.

    I've probably not been much help but I just wanted you to know you have someone to talk to and I also kinda needed someone to vent to. Feel free to message me as you travel down this road to what is hopefully a diagnoses for you. Best of luck x

  • OMG....you feel the way I feel. I'm not having the pains you're having, but the feeling I'm having I feel like saying fuck it too. I just want someone to hug and say its alright. I'm so tired of being the strong one! It's no way to go thru life. The pain that I'm having it hurts to even sit or walk sometimes. The doctor don't seem to know what's wrong. I'm so tried of going through.

  • Sending you virtual hugs. I can relate, and do, literally, feel your pain. It is so hard at times to deal with these things. Stay strong lovely xx

  • I understand how you feel. I am currently recovering from my first Laperoscapy. They have confirmed I have Stage 1 which was surprising to me given that the pain I have is very intense and frequent. I expected it to be further along if im honest.

    I identified with your post because as bad as the pain can be, the emotional affects of the condition I would say are much worse. My mood can change day by day and it must be terrifying for my partner. He often comments that he doesn't know whether it will be a good day or not, and this can cause issues for me.

    One thing I feel positive about is that it isn't just me, joining this community I can already see that there is a lot of support here. We all to some degree can identify with one another's experiences and that makes me feel like I'm not alone.

    Hopefully your husband will understand in time and once your diagnosis is determined he'll have a better understanding ... but men I've found are totally oblivious to what it's like being a woman sometimes. It's like asking a carrot to understand the anatomy of a onion!

    :)

  • Couldn't of said it any better myself!

    So sorry you are suffering hunni, you always have all of us to talk /vent to😙

    I understand the other half thing. My fiance hasn't a clue what to do when I'm in pain. He sorta just sits there and Daren't do anything, I think it's just a man thing really, men like to be fixers so when there is something they can't fix they panic and don't know how to react to it😞

    Sending you a hugeee hug!xxxx

  • I feel for you luv am excatly same you just said am the same but hopefull i ve got my pre op in june for a lap in june so hoping they is a light at end of tunnel .just wanted to say i feel for you luv it takes over your life keep pushing luv to get sorted i have it just a long job hope you get sorted chin up x

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